"smoke over 1 problem, now I've got 2 problems..."

(this applies to any addiction, IMO)

This song gives me strength because I want to seperate from my family or orgin.

Reo Speedwagon Time For Me To Fly Lyrics

I've been around for you - been up and down for you
But, I just can't get any relief
I've swallowed my pride for you - lived and lied for you
But, you still make me feel like a thief
You got me stealing your love away 'cause you never give it
Peeling the years away, and we can't relive it
Oh, I make you laugh and baby you make me cry
I believe it's time for me to fly
You said we'd work it out
You said that you had no doubt that deep down we were really in love
Oh, but I'm tired of holding on to a feeling I know is gone
I do believe that I've had enough
I've had enough of the falseness of a worn out relation
Enough of the jealousy and the intoleration
Oh, I make you laugh and you make me cry
I believe it's time for me to fly

Time for me to fly
Oh, I've got to set myself free
Time for me to fly
That's just how it's got to be
I know it hurts to say goodbye, but it's time for me to fly

(Oh, don't you know that it's...)
Time for me to fly
Oh, I've got to set myself free
Time for me to fly
Oh, baby, that's just how it's got to be
Oh, I know it hurts to say goodbye, but it's time for me to fly
Fly
It's time for me to fly

"Love, friendship and goodwill generally feel safe and uncomplicated. Manipulation feels coercive, confining and entangling."

I can't remember which book I got this from (oops!) but I wrote it down a while ago and re-discovered it today. It is useful for me at the moment, I am trying to notice, listen to, and trust my feelings.

overwhelmed, I love those lyrics....

'since our feelings work for us, we should treat them with respect'

'courage is not the absence of fear; it is the making of action in spite of fear'

'by attempting to avoid the responsibility for our own behaviour, we are giving away our power to some other individual. in this way, millions daily attempt to escape from freedom'

"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way --and it surely has not-- she adjusted her sails."
~ Elizabeth Edwards, "Resilience: Reflections on the Burdens and Gifts of Facing Life's Adversities"

I recently heard this song on the radio and the lyrics really speak to me. Its a new song called Shadow Days by John Mayer.


Did you know that you could be wrong
And swear you're right
Some people been known to do it
All their lives
But you find yourself alone
Just like you found yourself before
Like I found myself in pieces
On the hotel floor
Hard times have helped me see

I'm a good man, with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start
But I finally learned to let it go
Now I'm right here, and I'm right now
And I'm open, knowing somehow
That my shadow days are over
My shadow days are over now

Well I ain't no troublemaker
And I never meant her harm
But it doesn't mean I didn't make it hard to carry on


Well it sucks to be honest
And it hurts to be real
But it's nice to make some love
That I can finally feel
Hard times let me be

I'm a good man, with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start
But I finally learned to let it go
Now I'm right here, and I'm right now
And I'm open, knowing somehow
That my shadow days are over
My shadow days are over now

[Guitar/drums break]

I'm a good man, with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start
But I finally learned to let it go
Now I'm right here, and I'm right now
And I'm open, knowing somehow
That my shadow days are over
My shadow days are over now

Wow -- some really powerful lyrics, guys! Brings me back to the days when this song carried me when I couldn't find the strength to go it alone:

"Until I Fall Away" by the Gin Blossoms

I want to tell if I am or I am not myself
It's hard to know how far or if at all could go
Waiting far too long for something I forgot was wrong
I don't know all the answers I think that I'll find
Or have it within the time but it's all that I'll have in mind
Until I fall away
That won't keep us waiting long
Until I fall away
I don't know what to do anymore
Until I fall away...
My fear pretend that I'll never be in love again
It's real to me but not like these fools and not like this scene
I won't find or have it within the time
If it's all rusted and fade in the spot where we fell
Where I thought I'd left behind
It's loose now but we could try
Until I fall away
I won't keep us waiting long
Until I fall away
I don't know what to do anymore
Until I fall away...
When there's no good answers
To those new questions
Another personal disaster
There's nowhere to go but down...

"I have no mercy or compassion for a society that will crush people and then penalize them for not being able to stand up under the weight."...Malcolm X

"If you have no critics you'll likely have no success."..same

"People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction."...James Baldwin

I love this quote; It is not impractical to consider seriously changing the rules of the game when the game is clearly killing you.

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance - Oscar Wilde

By speaking negatively, we become our own self-fulling prophecy of doom and gloom. No matter how ridiculous it seems, you must offer constant positive affirmations into your mind today...starting now.

I want to survive.
I want to be healthy.
I want to be active.
I want to be wise.
I want to live in equanimity.

I trust God and I keep my side of the street clean!

Be the change that you wish to see in the world.
Mahatma Gandhi

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.
Mahatma Gandhi

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Mark Twain

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.
George Bernard Shaw

It always seems impossible until its done.
-Nelson Mandela

An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.
Martin Luther King, Jr

Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action.
Mother Teresa

Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.
Princess Diana

You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.
Swami Vivekananda

All the powers in the universe are already ours. It is we who have put our hands before our eyes and cry that it is dark.
Swami Vivekananda

The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there - L.P Hartley

Dreams ~ by Langston Hughes

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.