Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hi, some of you know my situation! and some of you not. Well a brief update for those of you that dont know...
i have been with my partner now for 4 yrs, we are from different backgrounds, he is english white and i am sikh indian. Ever since my parents have found out they have not been happy with the fact that i have been living with a english guy, in my family that just doest happen. You dont get to date for yrs before getting married and you dont get to live together before u are married....i was married yrs ago to a man that was abusive and alcoholic.
I must be feeling like i am going crazy, though my family know that i live with Simon, they never ask anything about him, they want to get me married, but does that mean u dont have a interest in who ur daughter is marrying? they havent met and now simon feels in a very uncomfortable position as they have not shown or given us or him any respect. My family i guess are ok with me, but are things really ok, or am i just dillusional?
Whenever i go to family parties or ocassions i feel like im cornered by my aunts who think simon is no good for me. When i told my aunt about simon on the phone, she asked me many few questions like, how much does he earn, can he afford a mortgage, what does he do for a living, and just becuase hes not rich or well off they have summed him up, and they dont like or want to like him or accept him cus he is not wealthy or educated to our families level, my brother reacted the same. The last party i went to they were talking to me and saying we have to arrange a family meeting? like what! get all together and discuss my life etc, but honestly its not of there fucking business? sorry, makes me mad....so i mean whats simon suppose to do, get married to me and be disrespected. i dont know what to do cus im turning 35 in jan and im drewading it as no one in my familly is not married, and they gona look at me at the next family party and just not be that nice, u can feel it when u r not with the crowd, my parents will feel it cus everyones got kids running around and are settled and im not..... stressed.
i have been with my partner now for 4 yrs, we are from different backgrounds, he is english white and i am sikh indian. Ever since my parents have found out they have not been happy with the fact that i have been living with a english guy, in my family that just doest happen. You dont get to date for yrs before getting married and you dont get to live together before u are married....i was married yrs ago to a man that was abusive and alcoholic.
I must be feeling like i am going crazy, though my family know that i live with Simon, they never ask anything about him, they want to get me married, but does that mean u dont have a interest in who ur daughter is marrying? they havent met and now simon feels in a very uncomfortable position as they have not shown or given us or him any respect. My family i guess are ok with me, but are things really ok, or am i just dillusional?
Whenever i go to family parties or ocassions i feel like im cornered by my aunts who think simon is no good for me. When i told my aunt about simon on the phone, she asked me many few questions like, how much does he earn, can he afford a mortgage, what does he do for a living, and just becuase hes not rich or well off they have summed him up, and they dont like or want to like him or accept him cus he is not wealthy or educated to our families level, my brother reacted the same. The last party i went to they were talking to me and saying we have to arrange a family meeting? like what! get all together and discuss my life etc, but honestly its not of there fucking business? sorry, makes me mad....so i mean whats simon suppose to do, get married to me and be disrespected. i dont know what to do cus im turning 35 in jan and im drewading it as no one in my familly is not married, and they gona look at me at the next family party and just not be that nice, u can feel it when u r not with the crowd, my parents will feel it cus everyones got kids running around and are settled and im not..... stressed.
You can't control others, how they act or what they think. So don't try. Say your peace and be done with it. You may or may not get approval. If Simon is who you want to be with, it is YOUR CHOICE!
You may even need to speak with a professional about your situation, just to get an outsider's opinion (like you are doing now). He/she may give you insight you hadn't considered before. I'm no professional therapist - just a codependent person who's learned a lot about this mindset.