Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Some one pointed this out to me in a recent email and I thought to share it here, below;
"It is hard to see that we are enabling when we are the one being abused, but its true. The abuser is getting empowered everytime they walk over us. We were not intentionally trying to enable but we do it.
We just want to love and to be loved so much that we settle for inapropriate and disrepectful behavior."
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The recovery from codependency gives us a way out.
Being an "enabler" does not make it our fault, we do not get blame, but it is part of our codependent dysfunction.
In a healthy relationship a husband will want to "enable" the wife to do her best, the wife will "enable" the husband to do his best, we want to "enable" our children too.
The boundary is drawn at wrongdoing, we do not want to enable abuse.
"It is hard to see that we are enabling when we are the one being abused, but its true. The abuser is getting empowered everytime they walk over us. We were not intentionally trying to enable but we do it.
We just want to love and to be loved so much that we settle for inapropriate and disrepectful behavior."
===
The recovery from codependency gives us a way out.
Being an "enabler" does not make it our fault, we do not get blame, but it is part of our codependent dysfunction.
In a healthy relationship a husband will want to "enable" the wife to do her best, the wife will "enable" the husband to do his best, we want to "enable" our children too.
The boundary is drawn at wrongdoing, we do not want to enable abuse.
That is why we must change and correct our selves.
We must put realistic and healthy boundaries on ourselves because we are dysfunctional.
Thus we enable the abuse and the abusers until we correct our own patterns of enabling.
I find that it helps me when I understand the dynamics of the dysfunctions.
i couldn't put it into words, but now I can... i was wanting to love and be loved so much that I did settle for inappropriate and manipulative behavior. I let it continue because I didn't want to be abandoned.
DS has done more for me than any therapist could. Thanks for sharing that with us, Booky.
I hope you can see i am me joking