Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hi everyone, here's another dilemma..
My husband often tells me that I need to accept the fact that I am screwed up and not live in denial about it. Fair enough, we all need to be honest about ourselves. Trouble is, I only feel and act crazy around HIM. I have a good relationship with my 3 kids and my friends. I don't feel crazy and anxious except when I am with my husband or when thinking and worrying about what he thinks of me etc. Yes, I am shockingly codependent, so often I lose myself and don't act 'normal' when he is around. But somehow I feel pushed into a box, like I have to be less than myself around him . My question is, do I HAVE to be crazy to somehow make him feel better about himself? Do I HAVE to play the one down/one up game to maintain our disfunction and allow him to feel superior? Is this typical of codependence or am I just feeling a little paranoid? It just doesn't FEEL right.
My husband often tells me that I need to accept the fact that I am screwed up and not live in denial about it. Fair enough, we all need to be honest about ourselves. Trouble is, I only feel and act crazy around HIM. I have a good relationship with my 3 kids and my friends. I don't feel crazy and anxious except when I am with my husband or when thinking and worrying about what he thinks of me etc. Yes, I am shockingly codependent, so often I lose myself and don't act 'normal' when he is around. But somehow I feel pushed into a box, like I have to be less than myself around him . My question is, do I HAVE to be crazy to somehow make him feel better about himself? Do I HAVE to play the one down/one up game to maintain our disfunction and allow him to feel superior? Is this typical of codependence or am I just feeling a little paranoid? It just doesn't FEEL right.
Most of the time my husband turns everything around and makes me second guess myself!
Is is just me or does this happen to any of you?
I will tell you that it took 5 years for me to come out of the codependent closet to my wife. Turns out she already knew. I was expecting world war 3 when I was going to admit this to her. My worst fears were all wrapped up in this. She met me with understanding and happiness that I wanted to open up. It may not turn out that way for you. Either way, what you decide to do is up to you. Much love to you possum.
No, I don't think we need to be "down-sized" or whatever you want to call it to be in a relationship. We should be building each other up, not tearing each other down. Sorry it's not working that way.