Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I know this will sound basic, but I need to know what are the bad effects on someone who is in a relationship with a codependent?
My ex-boyfriend called himself "Mr. Codependent " as if it was something to be proud of.
We were together for seven years but broke up and got back together many times. Usually I broke it off. I was afraid to say anything for fear he'd get insulted and angry. He loved to tell people that he was all I had.
I finally realized it was an unhealthy relationship from the first day. He would explode over minor things. He'd take offense to every other word I'd say. He fits every defining characteristic of a codependent.
I have been independent all of my life. I hate being told what to do. I have health problems that have no cure, but I don't want a guy who makes rules for me.
Please, someone, I need to understand this. We've been apart for four months now, but he's been contacting me. I'm not going back.
So my question is, what happens to someone who is involved with a codependent? Do they feel more helpless than they should, for example?
Thanks in advance for helping me understand the dynamic so it will not happen again.
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I'nm exhausted. This doxycycline thing has ripped me apart and I'm eating crackers and water. I can't take (anything) or eat (anything) except saltines and toast and maybe unbuttered watery mashed potatoes. Are we sure the cure isn't worse than the possible disease?!?!And a week to go. ***Fun cures that WERE worse than the disease:ARsenic. Popular against STDs, which just compounded misery...
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There are all levels of Codependency. Its usually a Codie
and a narc or a codie and an addict. Sometimes just two
codies. You could have one codie and one non Codie.
If a relationship is codie its sick and unhealthy and Can turn
toxic after long enough. To have a healthy mature relationship
both people should have self Love on board and both people
should have strong healthy Boundaries in place. That is not the
Definition of a codependent relationship.
What was your upbringing like? Did you growup in Dysfunction
and/or abuse during your childhood, Alcoholism, narcissism. Some
Times it goes back generations.
Codependent no more by melodie beattie is a book a Lot of people
buy and read it is very alanon like too.
My ex was more more of an anti dependent to my being A
codependent. This stuff is deeply seated and you might Not
know its still there. Anyone that needs a 12 step group is Basically
a codependent of some sort.
The only way i know to heal the codie is to heal yourself so
You don't find another one especially if you find narcs or
Addicts for partners. Some people will keep finding them
Until they address their own issues by going to Coda/alanon
Meetings And going to therapy will help a great deal. HUGS
Often come from emotionally detached parents,
Addiction issues, mental illness, work addicted,
religiously Addicted, just plain old dysfunctional
family of origin. Its not always addiction issues
often the Parents themselves are adult child of
an alcoholic And a codependent.
The codie childs developmental needs were not
Met and they did not have healthy modeling from
their Parents. The Child has no idea they are enough
or that they matter And they do not have self love or
self Acceptance onboard. They generally only guess
At what Normal is. They also have poor and immature
Coping skills. HUGS
But one day woke up and looked around wondering what happened to the strong independent woman who takes no sh*t from anyone? Yeah, something had to be done. Boy the break up was h*ll and he harassed me non stop. Kept coming by picking fights with me. Even tried to call the cops on me and told them I threatened to shoot him and said he wanted to see me get arrested. What a sick dude. Had his number blocked from my phone and all my family's phone.
That's all in the past now. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Stand your ground and keep your boundaries. What I did next was I went and got some counseling. I blame what happened to me on my upbringing. My parents had a horrific marriage, no drinking or drugs... just filled with lies, deceit, abuse, chronic infidelity, abandonment, codependency, etc. So, I had no example of what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. I'm hoping I can keep learning and fixing my mistakes as I go. So I don't repeat / learn from my parents (since my mom still has codependent behaviors today).
I don't know if any of this helped you. If you think you need to talk to someone about what you went through with that guy, it won't hurt. I know it helped me a lot.
Codependency.
It comes in the form of Severe depression and
anxiety, Ptsd, C-ptsd, Addictions, codependency
And more.
It all depends on the level of dysfunction and abuse
you suffered as a child. Some people develop a False
self to protect their inner child and not face their reality.
That can be a life long healing journey to break that wall
Down, HUGS
I think I get it. it sounds like being in a relationship with an unapologetic codependent isn't a good idea.
I really had never heard of such stuff. My father died when I was very young. My previous relationship fell apart because he was frustrated with my illness. That was years ago. A lot of us with CFS and fibro can't keep our partners happy. So i guess i was vulnerable to someone who seemed to want to "help" me. But his help turned abusive. Thanks for your response. I really appreciate it.