Feeling a bit crazy. Aunt has cancer. She has 4 sons who are alcoholics and addicts. One is clean and sober. The one living with her is NOT. He has been overmedicating her. We met with the hospice nurse last weekend about her change in medications. She is on pain meds. My cousin, the man watching my aunt, is very unstable and seemingly overmedicates her. I told mom after I had a conversation w/ him for an hour this week, I finally told him he didn't have to give her meds if he's not comfortable. They have her on morphine and he talks about how she could OD and he doesn't want to be responsible. Mom is out of town. She told me not to tell him not to give her meds. I told him if he had any doubt to not give it to her. He is unable to follow nurses orders. Anyway I am frustrated w/ the situation and now with mom because I don't feel understood. I mean hopefully when mom gets back in town (she's on vacation this week) we can eventually have her come stay w/ us or something. It is her choice to have her son live with her, live off her. Her blinders are on as far as her realizing how drunk he is. The pain meds are a temptation for him (I think). Aunt is doing better on new medication. I don't know how this is going to go. I just know I feel like mom is so codependent and has no recovery. Aunt is so codependent and has no idea. I am moving past so much in my history of dealing with people with active addiction. Anyway I am just feeling.... hurt mom would tell me not to tell him not to give her meds. I mean he's talking about if she would want to OD he would only do it if she wanted. He doesn't want her to OD and to be blamed. He is whacked, and it is all within the family like, oh lets just look at the bright side that he is watching her and the only one able at this time and just not doing anything about it at this time. I mean, we wait for mom to take action. Anyway I sure need support through this. I need to pray for my cousin. He is suffering so much. He is such a mess he looks like a crack addict, all dirty and toothless and only 39. And my aunt chooses to let him be there. I think she's lonely since she's widowed.
Thanks for listening. Trying to detatch here and not overreact.
I think I learned so much of my codependency in my interaction with mom. Her husband/my dad is a gambling addict. She is such a codependent and I tend to be coependent of her. It hurts to be misunderstood. It is so frustrating to just let it be. Part of me is wanting to detach from the situation, as I am trying to be there for mom emotional to assess the situation. She is well aware of the cousin, and I don't get why she would not be supportive of me telling him not to give her meds. I don't want to argue w/ her about this.