Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
I'm listening to the audiobook version of 'Codependent No More' for the 4th time in 2 years. It includes this fable:
Once upon a time, a woman moved into a cave in the mountains to study with a guru. She wanted to learn everything there was to know. The guru supplied her with stacks of books and left her alone so she could study. Every morning the guru returned to the cave to monitor the woman's progress. In his hand, he carried a heavy wooden cane. Each morning, he asked the same question: "Have you learned everything there is to know yet?" Each morning, her answer was the same. "NO' she said, "I haven't." The guru would hit her over the head with the cane.
This scenario persisted for months. One day the guru entered the cave, asked the same question, heard the same answer, and raised his cane to hit her in the same way but this time the woman grabbed the cane from the guru, stopping his assault in midair.
Relieved to end the daily battering, but fearful of reprisal, the woman looked at the guru, to her surprise, the guru smiled. ...CONGRATULATIONS he said. "You have graduated. You now know everything you need to know."
"How is that?," the woman asked. He just smiled. "You have learned that you will never learn everything there is to know about life, but my child, you have learned yet one of the most valuable lessons in life ... and that is how to stop the pain." ...author unknown
I never really got this fable until this time around. I've been on & off with my ex for 2 yrs. When I broke away, I never ever called or texted him. It was always him that initiated contact again & I always let him manipulate me back. This time, I decided to block him from all contacts so he won't be able to get a hold of me. For me, that's what the lesson is from this fable. I've finally learned to stop the pain by not allowing him to get a hold of me. I'm still going through some ups & downs but I'm feeling some freedom now. I still have a long way to go on my recovery but I know this is a big leap for me.
I just wanted to share something positive because I usually post something here when I'm depressed. I hope it helps others as well.
Once upon a time, a woman moved into a cave in the mountains to study with a guru. She wanted to learn everything there was to know. The guru supplied her with stacks of books and left her alone so she could study. Every morning the guru returned to the cave to monitor the woman's progress. In his hand, he carried a heavy wooden cane. Each morning, he asked the same question: "Have you learned everything there is to know yet?" Each morning, her answer was the same. "NO' she said, "I haven't." The guru would hit her over the head with the cane.
This scenario persisted for months. One day the guru entered the cave, asked the same question, heard the same answer, and raised his cane to hit her in the same way but this time the woman grabbed the cane from the guru, stopping his assault in midair.
Relieved to end the daily battering, but fearful of reprisal, the woman looked at the guru, to her surprise, the guru smiled. ...CONGRATULATIONS he said. "You have graduated. You now know everything you need to know."
"How is that?," the woman asked. He just smiled. "You have learned that you will never learn everything there is to know about life, but my child, you have learned yet one of the most valuable lessons in life ... and that is how to stop the pain." ...author unknown
I never really got this fable until this time around. I've been on & off with my ex for 2 yrs. When I broke away, I never ever called or texted him. It was always him that initiated contact again & I always let him manipulate me back. This time, I decided to block him from all contacts so he won't be able to get a hold of me. For me, that's what the lesson is from this fable. I've finally learned to stop the pain by not allowing him to get a hold of me. I'm still going through some ups & downs but I'm feeling some freedom now. I still have a long way to go on my recovery but I know this is a big leap for me.
I just wanted to share something positive because I usually post something here when I'm depressed. I hope it helps others as well.
-
My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
I am there too. When u stand up gor urself its a great feeling.