I've had issues with codependency for years (background: I'm twenty years old). I place my happiness and worth in someone's hands, and then I become so clingy, and ultimately either leave the person because I can't take it anymore, or, more often, they leave me because they can't handle the clingyness and/or the pressure of keeping me happy. I am currently friends with someone, and I realize I am becoming very dependent on her. She lives far away, so we only text. She's a big role model of mine and a little bit older than me. At first she acted as a mentor to me, but now I consider her a friend. I feel like I can only be happy if I am talking to her. I think things like "what if she leaves me?" or even "what if she dies?" and panic because I don't know what I would do. I can't imagine that I would every feel happiness or purpose ever again. I just can't imagine feeling happiness outside of her. Because she is older than me, and has dealt with mental illness with many of her issues being similar to mine, she is very patient. Though she sees that I cling to her for emotional dependency, she doesn't feel the pressure of being that for me. She knows she is not responsible. But I still feel bad because I'm sure my constant going to her every single time I feel bad and constantly asking for reassurance that she doesn't hate me is a stressful thing to deal with. I don't know how to get over this. But I don't want to give up the friendship. She's a great friend, and she has helped me. The basis of our friendship is great... the dependency is just ruining everything. Part of me wants to just stop talking to her completely. I would no longer be a burden on her, I would no longer worry if she hated me, I would no longer lay by my phone all day wondering when she is going to text me back, as I know she won't. But if I stop talking to her, again, I would lose a friendship that does benefit me and is valuable to me. I would fall into a deep depression. I'd have to deal with the pain of a "friendship breakup," and then some because of my dependency issues. And part of me feels like this is an opportunity for me to work on these dependency issues. Like I said, this isn't my first rodeo. I've become attached to people like this before, and in the past it's always ended badly. Because this person is so understanding, I feel like this is a good chance for me to work on this. If I let her go, soon enough I'll just find someone else to depend on. Maybe someone not as understanding, who will hurt me. Is it possible to stay friends with someone you are dependent on? Or is the only option to cut them off? I don't get attached to everyone, so maybe I just have to cut out people as soon as I feel myself getting attached? I'm going to speak to my therapist about this on Tuesday, but I wanted to hear some opinions and get some support in the mean time.