Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
Hi, I would love to hear from people who have recovered from CoD whilst still in their current CoD relationship.
I am struggling terribly to be myself after 20 years in an unhealthy dependent marriage. I know I have lost myself and need to rediscover who I am but it is so hard to fight the yucky dependent feelings I get whenever I am around my husband. We have developed so many bad habits of relating that I am really struggling to break free and just act genuinely from my heart with him, without any agenda or need to please.
I constantly feel stressed and artificial when I am with him and am finding it hard to trust him with my real feelings.
I wonder if I will ever be able to truly feel at ease with him after so many years of dysfunctional drama
Has anyone managed to do this or have you needed to separate in order to rediscover yourself?
I am struggling terribly to be myself after 20 years in an unhealthy dependent marriage. I know I have lost myself and need to rediscover who I am but it is so hard to fight the yucky dependent feelings I get whenever I am around my husband. We have developed so many bad habits of relating that I am really struggling to break free and just act genuinely from my heart with him, without any agenda or need to please.
I constantly feel stressed and artificial when I am with him and am finding it hard to trust him with my real feelings.
I wonder if I will ever be able to truly feel at ease with him after so many years of dysfunctional drama
Has anyone managed to do this or have you needed to separate in order to rediscover yourself?
I see it as a big mistake to separate because the dysfunctions will stay with you, and you both will just carry the dysfunctions into every new relationship.
Here in the link below is a great Boundary book by Cloud and Townsend, based on long established religious principles which work:
http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454
And it is free at the public Libraries.
If you do it correctly then your husband will like the improvements, because boundaries are really fun and empowering to do - when done correctly.
Peace.