I just want to throw something out there that helped me to begin taking care of myself. I'm reading so many posts that remind me of me. I could write each person individually and tell them all the same thing about Self Care, Self Care, Self Care. I still have a long way to go, but I am come sooooo far! I have a co-worker and we are both enablers to each other in a way. We both have through the years, spent so much time talking about what we want to do for ourselves, but never did. Always ended up, being in a rut with someone else's garbage. Both of us decided to go to our own therapists. As we started to build on this new "do attitude", it was almost laughable. One issue we have in common is, neither one of us is extremely overweight, but we weren't happy with our current situation. We would discuss over and over again, over cookies and lunch about what we plan to do tomorrow (which seemed like it would never come). :-)

One day, she came to me and told me about an article a friend of hers mentioned. The article showed the difference between a selfish person (I choose to call the pyschopath) and the not at all selfish person (I choose to call the codependent). They did a study and it showed, the selfish person, is the person who has the body we only hoped we could get. The selfish person would dump their problems on us and leave us to listen, internalize and go eat on that emotion. Once the selfish person has dumped on us, that person is going to take care of themselves. That person is going to take care of themselves. That person is going to go in the gym, eat the good stuff, shop, go out, _____________ (you fill in the blank). We are going to eat, live in unwanted weight, obsess, come up with solutions to help that person and whatever else they need, while neglecting ourselves just to feel needed.

This is one thing that has stuck with me and helped me change. I started to think of what it would be like to be selfish, even if it's just once. What if I put my need first and did or did not do something, just because that's what I want. It took a lot of hard work and deprogramming, but I am a little selfish now. Not like a pyschopath, but I am selfish in a self-care kind of way.

If anyone is struggling right now in their codependency and full of fear, I want to offer you a "friendly challenge". I dare you to do one selfish act to take care of yourself. I dare you to say no when you really want to. I dare you to say yes, when you really want to. I dare you to do one nice thing for you! Not for anybody else, but just for you because that's what you really want.

I'm talking baby steps. I am not aksing anyone to go bunjee jumping. :-) I want you to do one small things (hopefully it's more than one). I want you to tell someone, I can't right now and go for a walk and really enjoy the fresh air (stuff like that), or have that cookie just because you want to. Forget about other people for 2 minutes and act on impulse. I really love you all and I don't even know you. I just know we all live so much in our heads and I want us all to win! My therapist challenged me and now I challenge myself. I just want to challenge you and hopefully it will spark something in you.

Written out of love and with the best intention! Hugs, Hugs, Hugs!!!