Absolutly. It is hard to not give into habit. But we must turn away from that which we are drawn to and want.
the cycle can be broken n kept in checked.

Users, losers, abusers...

We tend to attract what's indicative of our self image.

I agree that we attract those who appear to be indicative of our self-images. If you don't think much of yourself, you are not going to feel comfortable seeking out a partner who seems to have a lot going for them.

My mom used to comment (and still does) that she always envisioned me with an intelligent, hard-working professional. Someone who was my equal. My thoughts were always that I'm too different, I'm too edgy, no one like that would want to be with me. Looking back though, I'm not really sure where those thoughts came from. Just never really felt like I fit into the "normal" mold.

I think we need to refocus on what we have to offer another person and based on that, what we deserve (and nothing less) to receive in return, instead of getting caught up on social norms and labels. And start being kinder to ourselves.

Yup.....it sux because we look around at healthier relationships and wonder what we are doing wrong......I have a long string of failed relationships because my self worth was in the toilet and I was falling for men who were truly beneath me.....not that I am an elitist just that they were users, losers and abusers.....

Now I am putting together the building blocks to 'like me' for me and hoping that the next relationship will be an attraction to someone who is equal, if not, inspires me to grow. The first step of getting out of the cycle is getting self esteem and worth! Can't wait until I completely find mine :)

mysteryman,
This is a classic pattern. The "user" generally has low self-esteem and measures his/her worth in terms of how much he/she receives from others around him/her. Think of a vase... beautiful and seemingly-sturdy, but in reality fragile and empty inside.

The "codependent" person generally also has low self-esteem, and measures his/her worth in terms of how much positive feedback he/she receives as a result of giving to others around him/her. In this analogy, the codependent is the water... it changes shape to match the form of the vase, filling the void.

The amazing thing about this relationships, is that these relationships can often feel like a "perfect fit" in the beginning, because each person's weaknesses match the weaknesses of the other... the codependent "gives" and the user "takes," giving enough reassurance to make sure that the codependent will keep giving. It is often not until much later that the system fails and, when it does, it can be in spectacular fashion.

As the others have said, breaking the cycle requires generating self-worth from within ourselves, not from others. Until then, the cycle is likely to repeat because it is very hard to see it coming.