Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
ok, I'm new to this group. I had OCD routines in high school and got rid of them by going to a mental hospital in 1990 after meeting my girlfriend (now my wife). I realized that I would never have a life with her if I kept those routines. So actually I got rid of them ok but there were some underlying self esteem issues that continually cropped up from time to time in our relationship but never really did serious damage to us until the last fear years. This year things seriously came to a climax and my wife decided to move into an apartment of her own because she felt changes couldn't be made with us both living together.
So I began digging deep into my skull trying to figure out everything that is wrong with me and began reading something online about co dependency because I've always sort of wondered what that was. Hear I found out I could answer every question on the page in the affirmative. For instance, others opinions of myself have been worth more to me than my own. I'm also afraid to stand up for myself. But a lot of that is changing now because of my awareness of my co-dependency problem.
I think this started when I was young and perhaps was a problem because I was born as the last child in my family and both my siblings were about 14 or 15 years older than me. Looking back in my head this last week I think maybe I felt as if "why am I here, I shouldn't have even been born since there's so many years between my siblings and I..." and so forth which is all illogical stuff but to those who suffer from such problems that doesn't keep these things away. Plus I was picked on a lot in high school and so my self esteem was constantly being assaulted. So when I entered high school I had little of the "I know who I am and what I am" feeling and subconsciously invented obsessional routines sort of to give myself something to do and give myself some sort of identity (if that even makes sense).
even today even though I know who and what I am there is an underlying feelng of inadequacy and "blankness" to me that is underneath everything which I'm trying to counteract. But it takes a lot of work
So I began digging deep into my skull trying to figure out everything that is wrong with me and began reading something online about co dependency because I've always sort of wondered what that was. Hear I found out I could answer every question on the page in the affirmative. For instance, others opinions of myself have been worth more to me than my own. I'm also afraid to stand up for myself. But a lot of that is changing now because of my awareness of my co-dependency problem.
I think this started when I was young and perhaps was a problem because I was born as the last child in my family and both my siblings were about 14 or 15 years older than me. Looking back in my head this last week I think maybe I felt as if "why am I here, I shouldn't have even been born since there's so many years between my siblings and I..." and so forth which is all illogical stuff but to those who suffer from such problems that doesn't keep these things away. Plus I was picked on a lot in high school and so my self esteem was constantly being assaulted. So when I entered high school I had little of the "I know who I am and what I am" feeling and subconsciously invented obsessional routines sort of to give myself something to do and give myself some sort of identity (if that even makes sense).
even today even though I know who and what I am there is an underlying feelng of inadequacy and "blankness" to me that is underneath everything which I'm trying to counteract. But it takes a lot of work
Glad you found us.
Have you ever read "healing the shame that binds you" I think it has some good exercises in it. There's other great books on codependency too. There's a web site www.codependents.org, you can search for local CoDA groups if that's something you're interested in.