good question! WHY!?!?!?!?!?!
I hate it. I always feel like I'm letting someone down.

Maybe because the lines of where we begin and someone else ends are blurred. We're always thinking of what would make the other person more comfortable, we don't just think what would be better for US. Not to say we should be mean to people or selfish, but realize that how someone else REACTS to our choices are there's alone. I hope this helps...That's how I feel about it anyway. We want to please everyone else but ourselves. and we can't figure things out for ourselves if we're running around thinking of the perfect scenario that will please ourselves and the world. It just won't happen. I hope you are well, take care!

We are the peacemakers & we often ignore our own needs in the misguided belief that we can somehow change others so they'll be happier. Unfortunately, by putting someone else's needs before our needs constantly, we miss out on what makes us happy. :(

~C

I genuinely get joy out of making other people happy and giving to people that I love very much. I'm one of those people who actually loves to give gifts more than receive them.

I don't necessarily think that taking pleasure in doing for others is bad.

How do we draw the line between giving and codependency? I find it's a very slippery slope, particularly with the people I tend to get involved with. In the beginning, I will do things, and give and really appreciate the other person. As time goes on though, the other person tends to not be satisfied with just that, and wants me to change other aspects of myself, compared me to others, or other things that make me uncomfortable. It always seems to go this way with me. I have trouble drawing boundaries sometimes because I don't want to be seen as suddenly not the giving and loving person they know.

This is something I really struggle with, and I have no answers for it. :(

I've always struggled with my self-worth being tied to what I can do and be for other people. If I don't have someone in my life to mirror my worth back to me, I feel lost and anxious. It's all in that doing for other people without thinking about our own needs and desires. We're unimportant, we come after everyone else and so we're not worthy, the things we want are unimportant unless they involve the wants and needs of others. And yes, the intimacy issues are about that lack of boundaries, we tend to enmesh with our partners and don't know where they end and we begin.