You would think so.
My Mother was exactly the same , Do you think it was about keeping herself safe , never being in the wrong , not being at fault.
Or simply control , to keep you coming back to her

I think mine is control

An emotionally abusive mother is a mother who uses her child in an attempt to fill her own unmet emotional needs. Emotional abuse by a parent usually occurs when the parent tries to fill their own needs which normally should have already been filled during a healthy childhood and adolescence. Children need to feel loved, safe, secure, protected and valued. It's possible that as a child, your mother did not feel adequately loved, accepted and valued before she became a mother herself, and she is now attempting to use you to fill these needs. If she did not feel in control of her own life as a child, and later as a teen, it's likely she is now trying to control you as compensation. What she doesn't seem to realize, or want to acknowledge, is that it is not the responsibilty of the child to fully meet her own unmet childhood emotional needs of the parent. A child or teen can not be the filler of someone else's needs when they have their own needs. What happens then is that the child feels overwhelmed, facing an impossible burden yet still trying their best to do the impossible. This leaves the child feeling inadequate as they fail to do the impossible. By the time the child is a teen, they will feel not only inadequate, but drained and empty. Basically, the child was given the message "if I don't fill Mother's needs, she will reject or abandon me " and so it's likely the child grows up feeling insecure and afraid of failure, disapproval, rejection and abandonment.
Remember, emotional abusers are prompted not by children's misbehavior, but by their own psychological problems.They are usually people who received inadequate love and nurturing from their own parents.

I think you hit it right on the head Twilightsleep thanks alot

Great words, Twilight.
In my experience people who are unhappy treat people the way they feel they themselves deserve.
There is no greater act of self hatred than to mistreat or undervalue one's own child.
And yet, It's that selfishness of the parent that blinds them to the harm that they perpetuate.
It helps me to remember often that it was never about me. It was always about her.