Codependency Support Group
Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...
anyone have social anxiety? i sure do i work through it but still there. also have alot of anxiety about being around my screwed up sisters. so am not very often. i dont feel like i can stop by there and feel welcomed unless the one that is not sick is drunk then its all just great until they get to drunk and then start arguing and then she does not want me to leave and its just unbearable. i call it the
'becky show" she talk about herself constanly and cries or is mad or walking around stumbling with skimmy clothes on and boobs hanging out. most time does not even remember our conversations.
live less than a mile from them and when they stop by its timed as they have other places to go or be, even leave the car running and try to flash back to it if have to stop to get something. they are just so impatient and act like the world is just to much to handle and very little time to squeeze me in unless i do exactly what they are doing in the alloted time frame. they say we are doing this now and can u go? not at 4pm must be at 5 pm, shit like that. saturday a friend of ours was there and was meeting them at 4pm at my sisters house. i did not want to go to the party with them, so said i might come down and visit at 4. well we are leaving then and cant really visit then. so i just stayed home cause i was tired and did not want to feel unwelcome. its just crazy and so stressful for me to feel like a bother to them and if i say that she comes unglued and gets angry. says-we called you and your my sister and i love you. gosh actions and word dont match. anyway rambling just thought someone might have some words of wisdom for me
then i come home to my SO who has been taking it easy all dayand having beers with friends and not doing much else. been going to paint the basement for 2 weeks and not done yet, i get so anrgy when i see it not done yet. meantime i have worked 5 of the last 6 days and am tired and just feel like i am just grasbing at sanity and bored and feel like i do alot more around here and pay more than he does. he is lazy and just floats through life as i work hard and try to enjoy my lie.
surrounded bu strangers tht i call friends. really depressed and just dont know what to do to change my lie around. want to run away and start over but dont seem to do it.
i am trying to make contact with others and make plans with them, joined the country club, and try every day to stay positive.
but feel frustrated and like my life is just flying by surrounded by people that i dont really like and little in common with.
'becky show" she talk about herself constanly and cries or is mad or walking around stumbling with skimmy clothes on and boobs hanging out. most time does not even remember our conversations.
live less than a mile from them and when they stop by its timed as they have other places to go or be, even leave the car running and try to flash back to it if have to stop to get something. they are just so impatient and act like the world is just to much to handle and very little time to squeeze me in unless i do exactly what they are doing in the alloted time frame. they say we are doing this now and can u go? not at 4pm must be at 5 pm, shit like that. saturday a friend of ours was there and was meeting them at 4pm at my sisters house. i did not want to go to the party with them, so said i might come down and visit at 4. well we are leaving then and cant really visit then. so i just stayed home cause i was tired and did not want to feel unwelcome. its just crazy and so stressful for me to feel like a bother to them and if i say that she comes unglued and gets angry. says-we called you and your my sister and i love you. gosh actions and word dont match. anyway rambling just thought someone might have some words of wisdom for me
then i come home to my SO who has been taking it easy all dayand having beers with friends and not doing much else. been going to paint the basement for 2 weeks and not done yet, i get so anrgy when i see it not done yet. meantime i have worked 5 of the last 6 days and am tired and just feel like i am just grasbing at sanity and bored and feel like i do alot more around here and pay more than he does. he is lazy and just floats through life as i work hard and try to enjoy my lie.
surrounded bu strangers tht i call friends. really depressed and just dont know what to do to change my lie around. want to run away and start over but dont seem to do it.
i am trying to make contact with others and make plans with them, joined the country club, and try every day to stay positive.
but feel frustrated and like my life is just flying by surrounded by people that i dont really like and little in common with.
I do not have great advice, but I will ask if you are seeing a therapist? Because you do sound stuck and for whatever reason, you do not want to move on, but you do not like your life, either (at least that is what I am getting from your post).
Regarding your husband or SO, it sounds like you expect him to act differently from how he has always been? Like about painting the basement. He tells you he will do it, but he does not and it does not seem like it is an issue for him? I have the impression that this is nothing new. So, accepting how he is might be part of the way of taking some stress out of your life. I am not saying that he should not contribute, but he doesn't, he hasn't and he probably won't, no matter what you do. You have to decide what you can live with (or not).
Good Luck!
Shar
Who are you without your sisters? That's what I'm working on now.
As to your SO and the unpainted wall, it sounds like it's not so much the wall as it is that you cannot control his behaviors or attitude. Because if you want the wall painted, you can do it, can't you? But what I hear, is that you have expectations from him, as you work 5 days. And he's not meeting your needs. So, what do you get out of this relationship? What's in it for you? "he is lazy and floats through life" -- doesn't sound like he makes you happy or does anything to meet your needs.
Of course you feel frustrated. These people are not giving you what you need. And you cannot control them. Only how you choose to respond to them. Or choose to detach from them and let them go, if they are toxic to you.
Best of luck.
I think there is so much tangled up in this... maybe a bit of denial and trying to get others to be different to how they are, feeling unworthy of good relationships, kindness, love and consideration, and not trusting in what you see and feel. You may well be feeling like you are surrounded by people that you don't really like and have little in common with simply because that may well be exactly the case!
Rest up, take some time out for you so that you can re-charge after your busy work-time. Keep reminding yourself that you ARE worthy of love, support, consideration... who knows what can happen or what decisions you will make once you start to believe that you are worthy of kindness, love, support and consideration! Take care and best wishes to you :)