Cleft Lip / Palate Support Group
Cleft is a congenital deformity caused by a failure in facial development during gestation. It can be treated with surgery shortly after birth with highly successful results. Cleft occurs in somewhere between one in 600 and one in 800 births. Cleft occurs in several severities and is divided in two major categories: cleft lip and cleft palate.
Hey folks, I heard a story the other day I think ought to be shared... as some of you may know I am fortunate enough to volunteer semi-regularly at the plastic surgery clinic of Dr. Magee, who is the founder of Operation Smile. He's only there once a month and because he's very busy when he is there I don't talk to him much, but we did have a conversation a couple weeks back. I told him I plan on going into Social Work to help patients like his and he told me this story.
"Once when I was in Africa with Op Smile a couple of brothers with clefts came from their village for surgeries. The younger brother, about ten or so, was pretty lively and outgoing even with his unrepaired cleft, but you could tell that the teenage years had taken their toll on the 17-year old older brother. He wore a baseball cap and a rag over his face. I asked him if he would shake my hand. He did, but his grip was weak and he wouldn't look me in the eyes. I said 'No, I want you to really TAKE my hand, and look me in the eyes while you do it.' He then took my hand and shook it more firmly, but when I met his eyes he looked down. I said 'I want you to shake my hand and look me in the eye while you do it.' This time he did. I told him 'I can help fix your face, but I can't fix what's in here.' *gesturing to his heart* 'So I want to make you a deal. I will fix your face, if you will see your cleft as a gift. You will always be more sensitive to the needs of others -- it's built into you. So I want you to use that to help the other people of your village."
Dr. Magee didn't tell me what the boy's response was... who would say "no", though, offered a free operation and all you had to do was promise you'd try to pay it forward? I'd heard Dr. Magee have one or two similar conversations with patients in the clinic before, but this story was what convinced me that he is someone that "gets it". Maybe he's never felt the sense of being alienated from your world and even your own body that a cleft can bring, but he's certainly seen its effects. And he gets that the soul needs healing as well as the body, and makes an effort to care for his patients on both levels. He gets that one way to heal the soul is create meaning to bad experiences by yoking them to positive ends.
He believes that clefted people are more sensitive to the needs of others, that this is a gift that is built into us. I think it could be a gift in more ways than that. It can also be a curse in more than one way, too. It's all in how you use it.
Looking forward to learning what kinds of gifts the outsider perspective can bring. "Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you cant see from the center." -- Kurt Vonnegut
"Once when I was in Africa with Op Smile a couple of brothers with clefts came from their village for surgeries. The younger brother, about ten or so, was pretty lively and outgoing even with his unrepaired cleft, but you could tell that the teenage years had taken their toll on the 17-year old older brother. He wore a baseball cap and a rag over his face. I asked him if he would shake my hand. He did, but his grip was weak and he wouldn't look me in the eyes. I said 'No, I want you to really TAKE my hand, and look me in the eyes while you do it.' He then took my hand and shook it more firmly, but when I met his eyes he looked down. I said 'I want you to shake my hand and look me in the eye while you do it.' This time he did. I told him 'I can help fix your face, but I can't fix what's in here.' *gesturing to his heart* 'So I want to make you a deal. I will fix your face, if you will see your cleft as a gift. You will always be more sensitive to the needs of others -- it's built into you. So I want you to use that to help the other people of your village."
Dr. Magee didn't tell me what the boy's response was... who would say "no", though, offered a free operation and all you had to do was promise you'd try to pay it forward? I'd heard Dr. Magee have one or two similar conversations with patients in the clinic before, but this story was what convinced me that he is someone that "gets it". Maybe he's never felt the sense of being alienated from your world and even your own body that a cleft can bring, but he's certainly seen its effects. And he gets that the soul needs healing as well as the body, and makes an effort to care for his patients on both levels. He gets that one way to heal the soul is create meaning to bad experiences by yoking them to positive ends.
He believes that clefted people are more sensitive to the needs of others, that this is a gift that is built into us. I think it could be a gift in more ways than that. It can also be a curse in more than one way, too. It's all in how you use it.
Looking forward to learning what kinds of gifts the outsider perspective can bring. "Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you cant see from the center." -- Kurt Vonnegut
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
It always fascinates me that the treatments are as much for our hearts as they are for our physical needs to eat, breathe and communicate properly. These are bound to change a person and give more insight and compassion.