Cleft Lip / Palate Support Group
Cleft is a congenital deformity caused by a failure in facial development during gestation. It can be treated with surgery shortly after birth with highly successful results. Cleft occurs in somewhere between one in 600 and one in 800 births. Cleft occurs in several severities and is divided in two major categories: cleft lip and cleft palate.
For a while I've been really unsatisfied with the words available that mean "cleft palate" and / or "cleft lip." It's just kind of awkward to say or even type every time. Kinda sounds like a medical term as well. "Harelip" of course, is out of the picture. I remember seeing in the last forum I joined with the term "clefty", which conveys about as much mystery and meaning as "Teletubby" and I didn't like one bit. (Personally, I'd rather be called "harelip".)
Recently I thought of a word which, while I'm positive could be replaced by a better one, strikes me as an acceptable shorthand for "person with cleft lip and / or palate." Ironically enough, this word which I like is almost identical to "clefty" save for two letters and a difference in emphasized syllables: "cleftee". Cleft-ee. First the verbal form of "cleft": http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cleft. ("clefted person" is perhaps usable as well.) Then, the suffix "ee", "Added to verbs to form words meaning a person or thing that is the object of that verb (ie, to whom or to which an action is done)." http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-ee
Some less overt meanings:
It wasn't actually being cleaved or cut that made my face like this, it was because the tissue didn't fully form there in the womb. However, in a metaphorical sense, I have been cut by the social disconnect between body and spirit, between "beautiful" and "ugly", whole and broken, life and death, etc. I'm not the only one subject to this divided, dystopian type thinking, I just experienced it more keenly than most... This did not destroy me. As life will do, I keep on growing and adapting. Some of these adaptations can perhaps even be made socially useful, someday.
Also, notice this further use of the "ee" suffix: (law) Used to form words meaning a person who is the other party to a contract involving a person described by the corresponding word ending in -or
legatee
"trustee" I think is the best example I can find on the list of a word that conveys a similar meaning to what I'm thinking here... Having a cleft lip / palate is just what happened, it's the "hand you were dealt" at birth. It might be a little hard to play (and maybe somebody needs to revise the rules), but if so it's at least a unique disadvantage and any unique disadvantage can be a unique advantage through the right perspective which can seek out the right circumstances. I keep thinking about the parable of the gold talents in the new testament. The "master" gives a certain amount of gold to each of his three servants before he leaves for a journey. When he returns, the first two bring him their gold which they've buried in the ground for fear of losing the master's property. The third brings him twice as much which he had invested with thrift. The first two are punished, the third rewarded.
Another definition of "ee" is "(medicine) Used to form words meaning a person who has undergone a particular medical procedure
laryngectomee".... I don't think "cleft" is a particular medical procedure, but thought I'd just point out that this seems to fit with the theme.
So, yeah... just thought I'd give some context for my reasons if I start using "cleftee" or "clefted person" more often. And, as always, to see what you think.
Recently I thought of a word which, while I'm positive could be replaced by a better one, strikes me as an acceptable shorthand for "person with cleft lip and / or palate." Ironically enough, this word which I like is almost identical to "clefty" save for two letters and a difference in emphasized syllables: "cleftee". Cleft-ee. First the verbal form of "cleft": http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cleft. ("clefted person" is perhaps usable as well.) Then, the suffix "ee", "Added to verbs to form words meaning a person or thing that is the object of that verb (ie, to whom or to which an action is done)." http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-ee
Some less overt meanings:
It wasn't actually being cleaved or cut that made my face like this, it was because the tissue didn't fully form there in the womb. However, in a metaphorical sense, I have been cut by the social disconnect between body and spirit, between "beautiful" and "ugly", whole and broken, life and death, etc. I'm not the only one subject to this divided, dystopian type thinking, I just experienced it more keenly than most... This did not destroy me. As life will do, I keep on growing and adapting. Some of these adaptations can perhaps even be made socially useful, someday.
Also, notice this further use of the "ee" suffix: (law) Used to form words meaning a person who is the other party to a contract involving a person described by the corresponding word ending in -or
legatee
"trustee" I think is the best example I can find on the list of a word that conveys a similar meaning to what I'm thinking here... Having a cleft lip / palate is just what happened, it's the "hand you were dealt" at birth. It might be a little hard to play (and maybe somebody needs to revise the rules), but if so it's at least a unique disadvantage and any unique disadvantage can be a unique advantage through the right perspective which can seek out the right circumstances. I keep thinking about the parable of the gold talents in the new testament. The "master" gives a certain amount of gold to each of his three servants before he leaves for a journey. When he returns, the first two bring him their gold which they've buried in the ground for fear of losing the master's property. The third brings him twice as much which he had invested with thrift. The first two are punished, the third rewarded.
Another definition of "ee" is "(medicine) Used to form words meaning a person who has undergone a particular medical procedure
laryngectomee".... I don't think "cleft" is a particular medical procedure, but thought I'd just point out that this seems to fit with the theme.
So, yeah... just thought I'd give some context for my reasons if I start using "cleftee" or "clefted person" more often. And, as always, to see what you think.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
This is interesting. Perhaps because of this site and writing out the words Cleft Lip and Palate, I found myself in other communication writing "as a clefted person"
I like it.
Your suggestion cleftee sounds allright word.
Personally, this is how I am treating it. Anyone who I care about in my life does or will view it similarly.
Thanks for starting this discussion!
However, I cannot help but draw some comparison to how the African-American community appropriated the "n-word" for their own use, after it had been used for decades with very negative connotations. Of course there's differences -- that kind of evolution came from a communal effort and there's just not as many of us. But it seems to me it could be possible for clefted people to take back the term "harelip" for themselves.
But I'll just be using it sparingly for now, when I think it's useful for what I'm saying, and maybe someday with an attitude if I think I can pull it off!
s what you called the lip. But I know how it is used for harm and I agree with using different terminology.
I just sort of have this mental image of some George Carlin-like comic (with a cleft) pulling off some hilarious act where, every time he/she uses this "h" word, it says something radically insightful about society, making the audience a little uncomfortable but laughing harder for it. The point could be to refute it, I guess. Ha I'd start working on it myself but I don't really have much other interest in doing stand-up, so I wouldn't want to appear obsessed with the topic. Or maybe I wouldn't care, maybe I'd just make a joke about that too.
Some people might not ever want to hear the word used, even in that context by that person. I guess I could understand if they or someone they knew had personal bad experience with the word. On the other hand, maybe it was done juuust right, it could actually educate or empower somebody. Personally I don't think I would want to address it other than with humor. I don't feel strongly enough about it to give someone an impromptu education, as meara mentioned. Honestly when I found out the word referred to me, I was partly glad that there was a word from pop culture (even if, forgive this terrible pun, it was "poop" culture) and not just some medical term for it that I had to explain to people. It's just sort of darkly ironic (and telling about society, as usual) that the only colloquial word (that I know of) for it is -- I mean, really? -- to say "person-with-part-of-a-rabbit-attached-to-their-face"! Um, no. Kinda ridiculous when you think about it for half a second.
Lastly, I guess I just feel like my feelings have been hushed up by some un-conspiracy of awkwardness for so long that I don't like to learn that this more traditional word (although tradition may be stupid) can't be used.
I haven't really thought this out a lot, more or less having most of these ideas as I write this. It's a complicated subject. I hope I am not being terribly naive or otherwise offensive.
I think this site has the value of working things out together.
Now for the great thing. I was sharing some memories, in response to a question from my family. My youngest daughter said: "Mom, you haven't passed on one bit of the pain to us"
that is the triumph.
Cleftee would work. Probably better than my half-hearted, twisted, re-appropriative-style uses of "freak of nature" or "genetic mutant." Though strategic use of those can do some interesting things.