Cleft Lip / Palate Support Group
Cleft is a congenital deformity caused by a failure in facial development during gestation. It can be treated with surgery shortly after birth with highly successful results. Cleft occurs in somewhere between one in 600 and one in 800 births. Cleft occurs in several severities and is divided in two major categories: cleft lip and cleft palate.
Ok, I went to texas about a month ago to visit my oldest niece. I had not seen her in 3 yrs. I got there and found out my youngest niece was living with her now which is fine. I spent a night there and everything was fine. It was nice to c the older one. The next day I overheard my youngest niece she started talking about me. She said "She's ugly and nobody wants her. It's the truth and she just needs to accept it" It's not the first time she has done that and well, that is a long story. I was so upset. I actually contemplated suicide but I talked myself out of it and at the same time I decided I didn't need her in my life anymore. I deleted her number. I deleted her from facebook. She tried to call me and txt me a few times. I finally answered but it was just an argument which I was trying to avoid.
The oldest one called me too. I txted her back and she just wanted to know what happened. I didn't really want to go into it. It just hurts so much to know that I don't really matter to them. They only called b/c I left. Any other time it's like I don't even exist so what's the point. For 7 yrs I have tried to keep up w them and my sister. They never reach out to me. I made up my mind that day as well I would no longer b calling or coming out to visit. I would avoid contact w them as much as possible which won't b too hard since they never come to visit anyways.
The oldest one called me too. I txted her back and she just wanted to know what happened. I didn't really want to go into it. It just hurts so much to know that I don't really matter to them. They only called b/c I left. Any other time it's like I don't even exist so what's the point. For 7 yrs I have tried to keep up w them and my sister. They never reach out to me. I made up my mind that day as well I would no longer b calling or coming out to visit. I would avoid contact w them as much as possible which won't b too hard since they never come to visit anyways.
I am so sorry for those of you who have to deal with this kind of ignorance from family members. It must take a lot of strength to deal with that, no matter what you decide to do.
Um, well to go on the "shallow" side myself for a minute, you actually look quite pretty in your profile pic. Without even having to meet her or hear any more about her, the words I would use to describe this girl are extremely jealous, petty, insincere and even pitiable. It may be really difficult not to let her words drag you down, but you will be the stronger for it. My hope is that someday you won't need anybody else to tell you you are a beautiful human being in many ways.
I know it hurts. If I look back on my life, looks played a big role, but since I've grown up and actually thought about it, it's not only looks but attitude. In my school in 2002, there were 2000 pupils, of which 3 cleft palate and lips (Including me). One of them where unusually confident. He didn't care about how he looked, he carried himself well. And he was one of the most popular people in the school. The other pupil and myself were more introverted, always shy, and we were tormented, bullied emotionally and physically.
The last 6 months of my life I have given myself over. I realize that, yes, I'm not super model quality, but I am pretty, smart and at the right moment funny. Since then I have communicated with more people and made more friends. Before then I could count on my hand the interactions I had socially when I went out. I found myself, I arrived to a place of peace. The sooner you accept who you are the better. You wont be able to change the why you look, even with the best plastic surgeon the cleft is still there, it's not going away. But don't let the cleft define who you are, because it's not. Find your passion and make sure you live it to the fullest.
It hurts when people make comments, but honestly, so do we, we judge, we would think wow, that person is stupid or fat or has too much hair. It's human nature. I even catch myself thinking wow, I would never go for that person cause he isn't good looking enough (although I wouldn't change my soul mate for anything, pretty is still pretty). Which makes me a prude, I know.
I am privileged to have a beautiful son, he is perfect, blonde hair, big blue eyes and the best personality. I am privileged to have a soul mate, that I have been with for 12 years. He is my rock and to him I am gorgeous, sexy and all that jazz. We still celebrate our anniversary every month.
But I look at the "normal" peeps. They all have their problems, non of the peeps I know has had a successful relationship. They havn't lasted more than a couple of years. So in my conclusion it has nothing to do with how you look, just how you act.
People will ALWAYS judge you on your looks first (It's called being human). It's up to us, to make them see past that. To see beyond the obvious.
@Kimif I know nothing was meant to b hurtful. I'm just still very hurt by her. Despite the problems I did still feel very close to her. I hardly think about b/c if I do more than likely I start crying.
You are beautiful.