Cleft Lip / Palate Support Group
Cleft is a congenital deformity caused by a failure in facial development during gestation. It can be treated with surgery shortly after birth with highly successful results. Cleft occurs in somewhere between one in 600 and one in 800 births. Cleft occurs in several severities and is divided in two major categories: cleft lip and cleft palate.
I'd like to conduct a survey of the imagination, if you would be interested in participating.. If you could change something about the world, yourself, or your place in it, what would it be? Imagine you've discovered a magical wish-granting genie. This genie is a little different than the usual type in that he is grateful to be let out of the lamp and wants to help you choose a wish you will be happy with. He knows that the wish-granting forces automatically tend to turn back on the wisher, twisting their words unless the wish is specific and considered in advance. So, before he makes it so, he would like to discuss with you what you want, and the possible consequences of getting it.
For example: If you wish you'd never been born with a cleft lip / palate -- fair enough! But for your own sake (and maybe slightly for his own curiosity) this genie is asking you to consider how your life will be different (if you choose to keep your experiences thus far and just have your face changed) or would be different (if you choose to never have been born differently at all.) If you can come up with at least one way in which there might be a downside to getting your wish, the genie will be convinced you have thought this through and make your wish his command.
The genie would also like to ask you about a wish he received from another person with a cleft lip / palate. The person wished there was a community he could join of people with faces like his own. This genie, ever the cautious and responsible one, has held off on granting the wish until he gets feedback from a number of cleft-ed people. Would this "cleftopia" keep to itself or be part of the larger culture? In what ways might this community be more advanced than others? In what ways might it be less advanced? What special problems might arise, and which of the usual problems of societies might be the hardest to deal with?
For example: If you wish you'd never been born with a cleft lip / palate -- fair enough! But for your own sake (and maybe slightly for his own curiosity) this genie is asking you to consider how your life will be different (if you choose to keep your experiences thus far and just have your face changed) or would be different (if you choose to never have been born differently at all.) If you can come up with at least one way in which there might be a downside to getting your wish, the genie will be convinced you have thought this through and make your wish his command.
The genie would also like to ask you about a wish he received from another person with a cleft lip / palate. The person wished there was a community he could join of people with faces like his own. This genie, ever the cautious and responsible one, has held off on granting the wish until he gets feedback from a number of cleft-ed people. Would this "cleftopia" keep to itself or be part of the larger culture? In what ways might this community be more advanced than others? In what ways might it be less advanced? What special problems might arise, and which of the usual problems of societies might be the hardest to deal with?
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
To answer the second question I wouldn't want to live in a "cleftopia" where everyone is just like me. Granted that it would have it's upsides I.E everyone can relate to one another, we would all accept eachother for who we are but how long would that last? How long before we would start to divide into those who have a more predominantly noticable cleft lip and those who barely have a scar. Those who have a speech problem and those who's speech is impeccable. I would want to keep living in the world I live in now so that I can continue to educate those about cleft lips and palates and spread awareness and hopefully help others to be more kind towards people who have a disability whether it be physical or mental and instead of asking "what's wrong with them?" say "nothing's wrong with them they were just born different but in a good way".
I, too, wouldn't wish my face within the bounds of normality. It's a little uncomfortable to wonder if I do or don't define myself by the difference, but I know it's had a profound effect on me and my ideals, especially when it comes to trying to put myself in someone else's shoes. It was my enactment of the Golden Rule, I suppose. In a way maybe I define myself by how I responded to my own facial difference. More specifically, how I responded to how other responded, and the WAY I responded... was to "be the change I wished to see in the world" according to the law of universal justice or karma which seems to be assumed by the Golden Rule. Unfortunately, in my experience, in the real world a simplistic application of the Golden Rule fails because people are so different and situations are so complex.
The thing I would want to wish for more than anything is confidence. To enjoy my life fully, take risks, express my talents fully and interact with others fully. I wouldn't wish for it just offhand because I don't know what method the wish might choose to give it to me. Maybe I'd get some chemical imbalance where I started seeing everyone else as pawns in my game or lose all inhibitions against doing random, stupid and dangerous things.
I suppose the method toward greater confidence I would be most interested in would be greater certainty about my purpose or place in the world, or about the world itself, knowledge of the true nature of things. But even that might take the joy out of life or drive me nuts or something.
Wait. I think I've got it. I would like to see advertising turn into something good. That would give me a sense of place and hope in life. I believe the culture of advertising, the images of which we are exposed to so often it likely has us all in a state of constant hypnosis, is the greatest and seemingly most necessary evil in the world today. I have no idea how it could function differently than it does, because it is so firmly entrenched in the economy. Yet I dream that somehow all that ocean of imagery could be transformed into real art, uplifting, inspiring, enlightening and not just made to instill shallow desires.
As for the "cleftopia" question... Well I think Starlanda had an interesting point about the possible divisions that would probably arise between more and less severe defects, even the types of defects --- and probably also along more conventional cultural lines as well. Sometimes it can be awkward in the presence of another clefted person, in my own experience. Maybe together we'd just find that being really just ordinary humans, we'd need to find positives to relate to more than just shared negatives. It probably wouldn't be that big of a deal.
The bigger issue would be, just, why band together in a physical location in the first place. Leper colonies are made of individuals in a different situation, outcasts for actual health reasons, cruel and calloused as that may be. Is life out there among the "normies" so bad that we must take refuge with each other? I don't think the colony could ever be sharply defined by itself; our ties to our nonclefted family and friends, the whole world and human race which we are part of are just too strong.
I wish that the worldwide cleft lip and palate community came together so well that it opened a big honking window through the mirrormaze of adverculture captivating enough for the whole world to see through... make it so