I wish I had an answer to give you. I do have a heart that can pray for you and your daughter though. I understand not being able to work do to the pain. I also know that jobs are scarce right now. Is there anyone around you that needs a babysitter or something like that?
I know that you are through with the "system" but maybe they can help you find a half way house or shelter to help out for a while? I truly feel for you and your dear daughter. I hope he gets what he deserves while he is in jail. You do know that inmates hate child molesters especially if it was their own child. So maybe that will take care of itself, Big Hugs

Hello,

My name is Dante/..
When I heard your story i thaught, was listening oto my own!!!! And I MEAN NTHAT FRON THE BOTON OF NY !!!!! I have a very rare bone disease.. Shriners took card of ne as a child.. No one will indusure me!! I am also Bi Polar 1... With horrible dosiabilitating anxiety,, sometimes it cripples me... I first applied for S.S.I. in2005,,, they kept, dening me ,, and if you knew mw,, it was to much for me to handle so I just gave up.. after,, relizing,, there is not much I can physically or mentally do ,,I had to apply again in2007....I have been denied , and denied ,, and denied I thne requested a adjudtication hearing w/ a judge .. of course I had to get a Lawywer ..I do get very very nervous and studdar,, and have a hard time talking to prople ,, so without one I wouldnt have gotten far.. Now the judge thinks I definatly have a problem,, and it did sound like he was going to help me.. you have to wait 60 to 90 days..my lawyer thinks that I am going to get the help I need!!! iam praying to god .. for ,myself and the judgeb to make the right dicession,, wiyhout this .. I dont knw what I am going 2 do.. I have a ged.. but .. I am handicapped .. and have mental problems.. so I am waiting ... I

I hope to god everything works out for you,, and just wanted to let yu know that you are not alone !!!!!!
All The BEst ,,
Dante .... write me back anytime you need to talk !!!!!

You sound like you have a counselor, and I hope it's someone you find helpful. Since you appear to be "thinking" - if only slightly - of a job. Can you think of doing something just part-time? Brainstorm some low-stress jobs and make a list?
1. stocking shelves
2. (keep brainstorming)

Then write down the worst thing that could happen if the job doesn't work out. (You go home)?

It does sound as though life might be calling you to venture out, and that it might, just might, be a good thing. Explore the possibility with support you trust. This would also provide your daughter with a "conquering" role model.

I dont have a lot of advice for you but I do want to send my hope and understanding to you!

If it makes you feel any better Iam married to a man that Iam no longer in love with AT ALL...he treated me badly for so many years that I finally left him....I had to come back to him just because I had no where else to go...

in other words I stay with him because I have no money Iam too sick to work to take care of myself!

The things all of us as humans have to do to survive makes my cry...but we do what we have to do....

Keep venting and posting you just never know when someone may come along that has the advice you need...

Have you thought about going to a tech school for something that you could make a lot of money per hour so you do not have to work that much?

Like say ultrasound tech?

If you could get financial assistance it would pay for your school which when your low income you usually can qualify

..you choose a field where you make huge hourly wages and then you only have to work maybe 20 hour per week to survive

does that make sense?

prayers going up for you!:)
Doxy

Hi and thank you all for the caring replies. I have been overwelmed lately with all I have had to do and have taken a few days to get myself together. I am sorry I have not gotten back to you sooner.
I still dont feel better, but I tried.
I have asked a very hard question. I was hoping that someone had the answer but its not possible. I have to let my life fall where it does and deal with it the best I can.
Doxy, I was staying with my husband for the same reason. But when I found out what he did to my daughter, I couldnt , no way stay with him then.
I have soul searched for days and I see NO way I can work. I have looked in the paper , I have gone through a day in my life and asked myself. Could I do this now , today. The answer is NO way. I am still in a lot of pain all day and night. Never lower than a 7 on the pain scale. My anxiety is even worse with my life in shambles.
I feel like a failure to my daughter. Im trying the best I can, its just not good enough.
Im working with a counslor and Im hoping she helps. I am going back to the pain clinic and see if I can get a DR. that really wants to help me and not just give me more drugs that only get me to a 7. I want nerves cut, shots. Ill do anything. Pills are not the answer for me.
I am so glad that I can read what others post. It comforts me to hear others say what I feel. I shake my head in agreement and understanding to so many in this group. Im just sorry you all are in pain too.
Thank you
Ill be around reading and posting.
Vicki

my grand daughter was molested by her step father .he got away with it .she was 3 then .she is now 16.it was hard for her but she is ok now .you hang in there every thing will get better.you and her will need alot of therapy.if you need a ear i am here .shirley1950

Vicki

With your disability you might qualify for DVR - Division of Vocational Rehabilitation and or another organization that helps disabled people find part time work/school.

Keep fighting Social Security - Getting a Lawyer is excellent - You will get on it - it jus takes fighting them hard. Don't give up.

As for your daughter - leaving that sob was the right thing to do. She will be ok - I went through that myself so I understand. Keep both of you in counseling.

Contact the housing authority in your area and get on the list for low income housing - you will make it - it takes time. I lost my housing because of my ex-boyfriend but after a year I got back on it. I survived on social security and so will you.

Contact a local church - there are often programs they can offer to help with your needs. (house cleaning, counseling, food assistance)

Apply for food stamps - that will help.

What ever you do do not give up! You will get through this! I know your pain and your anger and your hurt - just remember that you and your daughter are worth the best in life and without that sob you will find it! It just takes time!

Hang in there hon! You will make it!

Hugs CathyM and Otis

My heart goes out to you and your daughter. You have to keep on going for her. She needs you and I know you can do this. I have MS and a chronic pain syndrome and I found a job working from home. there are a lot of vocations that you can do from home like medical coding or medical transcription with a short period of schooling that would probably be free for you with your income problems. Obviously, you have a computer so that's all you need. Dont fall for the scam jobs like taking surveys from home but go for the medical jobs and keep looking on line and in the paper for something you can do at home. You'll see. when life gets hard, it makes you stronger than you ever thought you could be. Dont give up. You owe it to yourself and your daugther to fight. Fight your pain and fight your situation. You can change it with help. dont stop looking for ways to support yourself until you can get SSD. I'm praying for you hun. You can do this...i know you can. dont give up. Life can surpise you if you just keep fighting. Dont think of the past, just fight for your future.
hugs to you both,
dawn

my first piece of advice would be to seek mental health diagnoses if you haven't already. seek out a mental health worker for the county and get diagnoses for bipolar, depression, anxiety, hell everything you can research and think of. kleptomania, say you now have ptsd flashbacks and nightmares to your own abuse as a child. that your daughter's triggered your flashbacks. say anything to get more diagnoses for mental health reasons. typically, you need strong mental health diagnoses to get disability. keep a pain and mental health journal from this point forward. you have to WORK to get disability. a journal of your symptoms, real and on your absolute worst day possible, is what you need. check out these websites:

http://www.disabilitysecrets.com/ (where to get all the best info on winning disability)
http://billieshelppage.21.forumer.com/index.php?sid=9799afa5727048b94d852a85f7e78e61 (where to get advice from retired and disabled nurses to get disability and help for your pain)
http://www.mentalhealth.com/p20-grp.html (where you can access all the mental health disorders available, and don't be afraid to expound or exaggerate...go on your absolute worst possible day, physically and mentally)

other than that, i can relate. i have chronic pain issues and think about things i shouldn't to stop the pain...and have problems working. my mom is like you, doesn't have a clue about chronic pain. she has money problems too now. i am so sorry you are having to go through all of this. this is totally unfair but just remember the more diagnosis you have the better of you are. so you may begin by researching and asking on billie's help page about your symptoms and get more hints for diagnoses. billie's help page is really the best place for learning all the best diagnosis that will help your case.

as for work, can you do a job from home? consider alpine access, they offer customer service jobs from home. i don't have their website, but just google them. i work in a call center, in customer service, the only type job i can now do, so i do really feel for you. you are in my prayers.

i agree too that vocational rehab can help. they can help you determine if you can work at all. they really do offer so many services and help any lawyer determine if you can work period. they are the nicest people on the face of the earth too. just keep trying and feel free to pm me, ok? i'm in the same boat, have raging anxiety and don't know if i can keep my current job. have filed for disability but know i will get denied again, am on leave from my job. have ptsd flashbacks and mental stuff i deal with too. so seeking mental health diagnosis for myself. but know it won't be enough. talk to an attorney about disability for emergency, losing the roof over your head situation. normally the government can push a disability hearing through if for emergency situations like yours, if you're losing your home and have no other option available.

sending big hugs to you

*hugs*
rana

hon, i forgot to add that you can contact your local churches to see if they have a benevolence fund to help you get caught up on your bills. they offer free grants sometimes if you attend a service or two. also you may want to google st. vincent de paul society or the catholic social services... both these organizations offer many types of help to those in emergency situations.

i hope this helps *hugs*

Well hugs,,
This will be the second time I have written you,, I just wanted to say thank you for caring!!! My other letter was much more deep but I thi9nk they sent it back In ahve it saved in my aol,, but dont know how to get it to you.. in short thank you so much for being so kind , and for all the great advice which I am going to take you up on
THANK YOU AGAIN AND GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!
DANTE

Well everyone, I have really relized how much so many of us have in common. And I will say that it does makem it a little easier,, It sucks that we all have to go thru this but at least we know we are not alone ,,, which I guess sucks even worse but maybe sometimes we can encourage each ather and help each other thru tuff times
GOD BLESS ALL... I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS
ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING ,, BUT WE MUST CONTINUE TO BELIEVE IN SOEMTHING , AND SOME TIME BETTER THEN THE PRESENT FOR A LOT OF US
DBALL

Thank you all so very much for your support.
I have been crazy dealing with stuff in my life. Lawyers, Dr.s , Counslors and MOM.
I still have to figure out a place to live if I have my home forclosed on and there is never a shortage of things to do.
Im hurting bad and very very stressed.
Your support has helped so much.
Thank you
Vicki