Chronic Pain Support Group

Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...

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Brain & Nervous System
/ Chronic Pain Support Group

something for spouse to read

honor435
honor435
Is there something I can give to hubby to make him understand what im going through? I have the mayo pain book, he wont read a whole book. He wants me to get a fulltime job- I said you dont get it do you? I would be fired, for calling in. I work 3 days a week now and draw blood on my days off(short days). He said he's sick of paying all the bills. Help, friends! Is normal behavior to be a jerk? he did say that he doesnt know what to do to help me, I said you cant fix me, just hold me, pray for me, talk to me!
deleted_user
deleted_user
have you taken him with you to any of your doctor's appointments? cuz that might help.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wish I knew........I work full time still, I force myself to do it. I suck it up and hold it in and try not to bother anyone, but sometimes the pain and emotions just build up and I can't take it anymore, so I cry and cry. This happened Saturday and HE got angry. Told me that he was sorry I hurt so bad, but crying didn't help a damn thing....God, I hate him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't think there ever is "normal" behavior...I think there is just how they react to and adjust to things as a person. I think if you threw a different comparable stress at him, he'd probably struggle the same way. This isn't to excuse it, by any means - it is just to say that everyone handles it differently.

And...guys, well - the male standard reaction is to want to fix things. And they don't know how to react if they can't. To stand by helplessly while you're in pain, they don't know what to do with that. Maybe part of him is, wrongly, is saying "if If I can't solve the problem, then I'll ignore the problem." His way of not dealing with it.


Anyway, as for something to read:

http://www.ppmjournal.com/PDFs/PPM_Jan07_48-53_Kannerstein.pdf
deleted_user
deleted_user
And this is about Fibromyalgia, but it applies:

http://www.fmaware.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=5351
honor435
honor435
he wont go, he said "why, i know your in pain"
honor435
honor435
thsnk you so much for the article surviving a loved ones chronic pain, im going to copy it for my pain dr. and hubby!
K
deleted_user
deleted_user
I understand what your going through. I have been there. I have an income now but if not I fear as much as I love him and he loves me we would be divorced. He couldn't handle the whole responsibility of paying the bills. I do think that it is very different these days. It isn't all them. With the economy it takes two incomes and it is a real fear of losing everything that you have worked for if one doesn't have an income. It doesn't make it right for them to behave badlly. I don't have any answeres. Sorry. I will pray that you can work out this problem with your husband. Money can wreck even the happiest of marriages. I tried to see his side but it wasn't easy. Like I said if I didnt get an income when I did we would prob be divorced and we love each other more than anything else in this world. (and our daughter)
ZAZAS
ZAZAS
I worked for 30 years with chronic pain, but had to retire due to disability about 3 years ago. Which, I am still young. My ex use to throw that up at me all the time. Hey, I think it is great you can work 3 days a week. Perhaps you can both work at cutting your budget to make things easier for you. I'm not suggesting your a spend thrift, but social services can help with some things; how you applied for disabiity or ssi? Have you applied to the financial assitance for your medications from the pharmacy or one of the many programs available for that. If not, I'd be happy to give you some numbers and email addresses if they will help.