Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
I've had a lot of 'remedies' for migraines come my way and for the most part, I just smile politely and change the topic. People mean well and they usually don't have all my information so I let it go.
This time it really makes me mad though. My own sister and cousin actually crossed a line this time. Everytime I see my cousin she has something new wrong with her, and I lost count of what her list of ailments are. Nothing big though Mostly allergies and sensitivies that I have to hear about endlessly. But this is not what bothers me.
What really bugs me is the insult and stupidity that ensued today. My cousin is taking a course on Bar Energy where it's like you heal someone's energy over their head and make them whole. These two ninnies told me that I have "energy bars' in my head and they are all crossed because of my misguided thoughts I've had all my life and actually suggested that I should let my cousin heal me. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
First off, it is MY FAULT that I have migraines because I have THOUGHT things wrongly? And secondly, that my cousin, who is always ill can HEAL ME by waving her hands over my head! REALLY???? All these years and I just needed to have air waved over my head by someone who knows how to do it? My sister....my own sister, who I thought knew how much I suffered is so brain dead that she even suggests I try this?
I have been physically hurting so bad for so long and cry so many times a day when no one is looking. As I politely held my tongue, I wanted to scream and cry and yell at them and call them complete idiots. Can they help a person get out of a wheelchair?! Can they cure arthritis? Do they really think my pain is so petty?! I just can't look at them right now. There is just too much emotion in me right now to be able to deal with it. If I was under normal circumstances I could say that they were being silly and irrational, but under my present condition, it will just come out like a scream or a squall.
Thanks for letting me get this out. I just keep obsessing about it and needed to get it out.
When I'm healed I will tell them, but I can't today.
This time it really makes me mad though. My own sister and cousin actually crossed a line this time. Everytime I see my cousin she has something new wrong with her, and I lost count of what her list of ailments are. Nothing big though Mostly allergies and sensitivies that I have to hear about endlessly. But this is not what bothers me.
What really bugs me is the insult and stupidity that ensued today. My cousin is taking a course on Bar Energy where it's like you heal someone's energy over their head and make them whole. These two ninnies told me that I have "energy bars' in my head and they are all crossed because of my misguided thoughts I've had all my life and actually suggested that I should let my cousin heal me. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
First off, it is MY FAULT that I have migraines because I have THOUGHT things wrongly? And secondly, that my cousin, who is always ill can HEAL ME by waving her hands over my head! REALLY???? All these years and I just needed to have air waved over my head by someone who knows how to do it? My sister....my own sister, who I thought knew how much I suffered is so brain dead that she even suggests I try this?
I have been physically hurting so bad for so long and cry so many times a day when no one is looking. As I politely held my tongue, I wanted to scream and cry and yell at them and call them complete idiots. Can they help a person get out of a wheelchair?! Can they cure arthritis? Do they really think my pain is so petty?! I just can't look at them right now. There is just too much emotion in me right now to be able to deal with it. If I was under normal circumstances I could say that they were being silly and irrational, but under my present condition, it will just come out like a scream or a squall.
Thanks for letting me get this out. I just keep obsessing about it and needed to get it out.
When I'm healed I will tell them, but I can't today.
I remember so many stupid fad diets that I told everyone that would work and pushed them to do only to find out that they were just dumb and only eating healthy and exercising works in the end. It is sort of like that.
i get them, really bad, about once a month, my friends and family understand and help me, and dont say stupid things like that.
they ask me what can i do to help.
some of my friends are like that and i say that good, hope it helps you, cause it doesn't help me. tried and not doing it again.
But, I think it is the most hurtful when it is our own loved ones who suggest these things to us. Like you said with you sister. I gave up long ago discussing my pain with my family because they just think I'm a hypochondriac. Last week though, I had told my mum about the bulging disc in my back, and the additional pain I was in. She suggested that I ask my doctor to put me on anti-depressants (not because they are beneficial for pain) but made out like I was just depressed, and if I got anti-depressants I would be cured. It was really hurtful to me, its hurtful when the ones who should be our support cause us pain.
I think maybe you should not hold your tongue next time, you don't necessarily have to be mean towards them (which is hard sometimes, especially in a situation like this). But explain that what they are suggesting is upsetting to you, and if all it took was a "quick fix" then you would have done it long ago, rather than suffering in pain all these years.
When my mom was alive bless her heart, she asked me after every PM appointment "what's he doing to fix you?" Dad use to do that too. He understands now there is no cure.
Have you shared The Spoon Theory with them?
Sorry you had to deal with the idiotic BS.
Healing hugs
When it comes to be I tend to dismiss these suggestions. I have my doctors and we have a plan to work on my issues. But with my daughter I think I would try just about anything.
What would happen if you asked your sister and cousin to explain the principle of this to you in detail. And then let your cousin try it. It can't hurt you to have her wave her hands around. And if she doesn't expect payment all you have to lose is some time. You could also get a manicure or pedicure out of her if you play it right :)
I guess my point is why not try something new? Appreciate the fact that they want to help you. Sometimes we forget that our pain causes pain in the hearts of those who love us.
I call it hocus pocus and it reminds me of someone using healing rocks and while I can appreciate being desperate and figuring why not it cant hurt. But in my heart I would know it was a waste of time and I am enabling them.
Just my thoughts, like I said you all are nicer then me by two fold as maybe I am a crabby lady LOL
And at the same time I would turn it into a time to have some fun with the people you love. Maybe a special lunch and pedicures before the main event.
And it might be nice to support a family member who is trying something new. Why did you try all those fad diets? Probably because someone you knew was selling it or doing it themself.
I think you were right Angela in holding back your thoughts while you dealt with the anger. But later perhaps, when the anger has dissipated, you could talk to them and explain calmly that you appreciate their concern but....(just as a way of expressing your true feelings).
I don't think there's much point in trying it out unless your mind is really open to this energy stuff. You could only benefit is you wanted to receive. So don't make yourself do it.
But I totally sympathize. That's why I just hide my pain as much as possible. Only my closest friends really know what I'm dealing with. My family have no clue... I keep it light.
It's my nature to automatically use humor to diffuse something that sounds ridiculous to me. I guess I might have said, "Wow...no wonder I'm still hungry. All this time I thought those energy bars were going to my stomach!".
My oldest Son recently sent me a link about the miracle cures of consuming apple cider vinegar. Just for good measure, he sent a second one! He loves me and just tries to help.
I hope you can let this go so it doesn't cause you any more unneeded anxiety.
Love,
Cherry
I have to say I'd be upset, yes I would. The point is to be blamed for the pain your in? Give me a break.
I can be a little mischievous so I'd probably say go ahead & have her wave those hands til her arms felt like falling off. Then again I know if it did not work it would be because you were not open to it.
Not to say I'm closed minded as I do believe there are people who can heal, yet I also believe we are not all meant to be healed for whatever reason.
Since this is such an important therapy you might want to take your cousin along to your doctor so he knows all about it. See what he has to say.
Lets see how well this continues to work with your cousins ailments shall we, & of course if your sister has anything occur you can refer her to your cousin.
People have medical problems & that is the bottom line. It has nothing to do with how we think.
Its offensive to be blamed for your own pain, just as hurtful as someone saying its all in your head, mean while your hanging over the toilet vomiting because you can't take the pain anymore.
If only things where so easy..........
God bless, Sammy
They compare a time when they had some pain or other and magically "thought" it all better and it worked! What they miss is that it was acute and was probably nearly healed naturally.
So many people just don't get chronic pain.
I think you at least have ammo for the next time they complain about some illness or other. Just ask why they don't get their own bars adjusted. LOL
I'm STILL rolling my eyes on this one.
Lets all wave our hands, that is to mean I better shut up now.
Sam