It's been awhile since I posted but I had an interesting if not terrifying experience.

I've had a weekend to recuperate but I had the scariest day since losing my baby at birth in 2003. Last Wednesday night I had a lower backache on my right side. Didn't think much about it. Then I woke Thursday feeling a bit odd but okay. I was getting my son ready to go to a movie when the pain hit. It was from my lower stomach thru to my back and radiating. I felt like someone had punched me but the pain wouldn't stop.

My 4 year old noticed my writhing on the ground & all I could think was, "I'm dying." I always thought I'd die of cancer b/c so many in my family have, or the RSD in my foot/leg would spread to make life unbearable. But this was truly, the only time I was sure I was dying. I had just taken my RSD meds so how could I possibly feel pain like that?

I grabbed the phone & managed to tell my DH to get home & get me to ER. He got home but by then I was vomiting, curled in a fetal position crazy from pain. He couldn't get me to get up or move. My poor 4 year old son watched whole thing.

I remember trying to breathe like I was in labor. Then all I wanted to do was be left on floor to die. Anything to make the pain go away. It was THAT intense. The only thing I can compare it to is childbirth, but w/o a break. By the time the ambulance arrived I was vomiting again. They got me on the gurney & out the door but every bump made things worse. I got a few words out, mostly just to say to steer clear of my left foot. My DH filled in the rest,

IN the ambulance they started to give me pain meds but I refused. I have a contract with my pain doc, I had just taken oral morphine & my worst nightmare for myself is overdosing. The ambulance attendant was kinda shocked as I was crying and saying I was dying (SO unlike my character) b/c of the pain but wouldn't allow them to help.

By the time we arrived at the hospital I vomited once more, and the pain lessened about 40 percent. I was able to breathe again and answer questions. I haven't been in an ER in 10 years so I'd never been to our area hospital. I was shocked at how kind they were!

The nurse took my info, then the 1st doctor, a young woman, very pretty. She asked why I'd turned down pain meds and I said, "I JUST took my RSD meds AND you have to call my pain doc 1st. I have a contract." I remember as I said contract the pain started again. But the doctor just stood up and held my hand and said, "Thank-you for telling me that." As the pain subsided a bit I started crying (again, not my normal personality) and kept saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I don't know what I can take or can't, I don't know the rules, but please call him b/c I think I'm dying!"

She was SO kind. She assured me I'd be okay and again, thanked me for the info. Then the 2nd doc came in, her superior at the hospital, a male doc. He asked the same questions and all I could think was, "They're gonna think I'm an addict looking for meds when all I want is to be cured or die." I was so wrong. The male doc distracted me while an IV was inserted and told me that with my history of kidney stones and the absence of my appendix, they were pretty sure it was stones. I tried to tell him I'd passed countless stones since the age of 17 and after the 1st few, always did so from home b/c I am scared of needles. Plus, this pain was 10 times the pain of a stone and hit too quickly.

He told me they'd get some tests and then said, "I'm so happy to hear that you told us about your pain doctor. That's rare around here. We will get you feeling better, I promise." By then the antinausea drug had taken effect so I felt a bit better. I did tell him that if this was a stone, it was unlike ANY I'd had.

Awhile later, after my DH & son arrived, they came in with Dilaudid and said my pain doc had told them to treat me as needed. I was in another "contraction" so I barely felt the cold medicine as it hit my veins. It didn't do much but I didn't want to complain, and the pain I'd had at home was lessened. It was no longer deathlike pain, but it was awful.

After my pain meds came in the MAIN doc. She was gorgeous! I remember thinking what a great model she would've been (maybe it was the drug?) but she was about 40, tall, African-American with a bright colored dress and turban. She spoke perfect English while upon seeing her, I guess I expected her to sound like Iman or something. She was also very grateful to me for refusing the pain meds in the ambulance and being honest about the pain doc. I couldn't get over how different these docs were. She told me that they were pretty sure it was stones (I didn't agree at the time but knew they'd figure it out) and that I should try & rest when the pain wasn't so bad. She told me to call if I needed anything and not to worry, that I was in good hands.

Now, I don't know why but at 1st I thought I'd be in trouble for refusing meds at 1st and making sure I explained all before any treatment was done. I kept apologizing and even cried (yet again!) when the 1st doc tried to order an anti-nausea med. I even made my DH get my phone out and I gave them the number within the 1st minutes of being there. And they worked pretty fast to get the doc's approval. But now even with the last doc, I felt teary and like I was being bad or difficult. I didn't want to be seen as a drug seeker, which had happened to me 15 years earlier before my doctor had saved me by calling the hospital.

So after an ultrasound they found I had multiple stones in both kidneys (not news to me since I'd had them checked around 2000 and I pass stones about 5 times a year) and that one stone had passed into the bladder but 2 were still in the ureter. The extreme pain I'd had could have been caused by those 2 getting caught together, but by the time the US was done, they were far enough apart.

I STILL don't know why vomiting the 3rd time made the pain lessen, and I'm still wondering if anything else was going on. It's Sunday and I'm still out of it and while not in the same pain, I definitely was ill. As recent as last night I had felt the waves of severe pain and felt nauseous.

I spent 9 hours in the ER. Not so bad for someone who was planning her own funeral hours before. But for my 1st trip back to the ER in 10 years, I have to admit that I was stunned at how kind everyone was. I could've gone w/o the IV as I'm terrified of them, and it would've been nice to have a tv in the cubicle, but overall it was not a scary experience once I knew what it was.

When doc #1 came back in to see how I was, I was teary and asked if I could please go home. She was so sweet. She said, "Let's get another dose of pain meds in you first." She could see I was very uncomfortable. I told her I was due for my RSD meds and I could take them at home but she said she could give me Torredol (non-narcotic) and that was proven as a good med for kidney stones. And that way, no worrying about interaction with the oral morphine.

She started to talk about sending me home with meds and I stopped her and reminded her about my contract and that I had plenty of oral meds at home for pain b/c of RSD. I have an appt on Wednesday and don't want ANY trouble with my pain doc. I've never had a problem with him and don't want one. But I forgot that I was low on antinausea drugs so tomorrow I have to call my primary care doc, as I used up my antinausea meds over the weekend. I have to call anyway as the aftercare instructions order.

I'm not proud to say I had to leave my home in an ambulance and my 4 year old saw it- and I'm embarrassed that according to them, it was only kidney stones b/c I'm so used to handling that on my own. But I AM happy that I was treated as a human being. It's sad that I have to be grateful for that, but certain people ruin that for pain patients.

I STILL don't know why vomiting made my flank pain (as they called it) reduce so much, or why I didn't immediately recognize the pain as stones. I STILL think there may have been more to it. But they treated me with kindness and professionalism and even let me take home my hospital gown as my DH forgot to bring me a clean shirt.

Since I've been a member here I have read horrible accounts of docs treating patients badly. I guess I figured this might give hope to others. As long as I was conscious to tell them about the RSD and my pain doc contract, all was well. And Wednesday we'll see if my Pain doc says I did okay. That is, if the last of the stones decides to pass by then. These things are truly insidious. Thank God though, that it's almost over. It's been a long weekend.