I have a lot to bring everyone up to date on. However, not sure how much computer time my body will be able to tolerate for a while. I got myself in a position of under-treated chronic pain, with a doc I allowed too much control . Trust is gone, communication never was really there on his part, & my ignorance about how the war on drugs really has effected the medical community has me in a place I need to get out of. I spent the last yr & 1/2 believing doc knew what he was doing, was being complete forthright , honest etc w/ me & it all was a lie, or rather a manipulation of facts to get me into enuf pain that I would allow procedures to be done where they make the most profit. It has never been about what is right for me as the patient, or my diseases, injuries or quality of my life. I held on hoping for best, but the worst has come to light, so I now must find new docs, new clinic, go thru whole process with all new protocol, pill counts, psych testing .... build hopefully a new honest clear communication again. 10 yrs this August. an average of 1 doc a year, with but 3 of them with my best interests involved, rather than the 7 who wanted to do what they wanted to see what would happen. At 53 yrs old 10 yrs of daily chronic severe and worsening pain, I am not willing to live last yrs of my life on a maybe. So, here I go again. I wish I had more positive to share. I will express my significant growth spiritually, trust in self, better knowledge of natural (meditation& self healing) etc. I pray & hope I find in the new clinic the humans who want whats best for me & my health rather than their profits and experiments. If not I will move on sooner because of this past experience. Maybe I am just suppose to be one of those who find all the parts of this process which need to be fixed?? who knows. Pain brings a human down to the basics of what is really needed in life compared to what is wanted in life. I have seen much progress being a part of Daily Strength for several yrs now in many of us. We have helped hold each other up when we could not stand alone. We have helped educate ourselves and the world of the realities and truth of Chronic Pain. We have lost some awesome souls to the afterlife, and gained many more. DS has grown from 1 human with compassion for 1 other human into a community of people, family members, patients ,medical professionals and more. It is awesome to be a part of such a movement of human beings all working together for the same basic purpose. When I found DS and our groups were all being formed I was so isolated & alone, suicidal, hopeless, alone with my physical pain, and inner turmoil from ignorance of why the world didnt understand even tho I expressed exactly what I was experiencing. Now I understand so much more all because we came together here on Ds. I will forever be grateful to our orgiginal founder, and would shower all those who have been consistently here thru all their own suffering for others no matter what. I have not been that strong. I would shower them with all the love and health they could ever handle. You know who you all are and those who are no longer with us who did the same. I will attempt to be more regular in my attendance. Pain levels are uncontrolled level 10 daily, living with an 8 all the time. For some reason, we are suppose to be able to live with this level of pain if we are not terminal. I desire my quality of life to be more than a high level of constant pain stopping me from even contacting my support here online. So off I go to fill out new patient paper work and pray for desired outcome.I care deeply for you all. Pray and send healing energy to all and with great gratitude for the life long friends I have acquired here on DS. Anyone new here will find a need filled. We all also have much to give no matter what our experience may currently be.

In Love Light Truth & Service,
"Stubborn" TerrieAnn
ralop

PS
Earlier post was for the group war on docs drugs patientshere on DS, and connection to site avail with info Dr. Alex DeLuca has compiled thru years and more connections to more truthful information. Advocate for yourself & those who are to come by education of self & others in a compassionate manner.
love...