ive had people say all sorts of things to me, my sis in law said " i wish youd get off all your meds and try yoga and herbs! I didnt say anything. My hubby said arent you worried you will get addicted? I had to explain addiction vs dependence. I want to scream at people, I have to take meds to be able to talk to and walk!! I found not telling people what you take is a better approach.

Hi all, I am new to this site, and I have been lurking for a couple of days. I read this post and had to reply.
I don't tell people about my pain if possible.
I get all kinds of helpful advice from people who don't have any concept of my pain. I have tried most all of their suggestions. I always think, wow, what if that works and I could be pain free?
For a long time when I heard these types of comments, I always thought of myself as weak and not trying hard enough.
Now I know that I am the only one that has to deal with my CP, so I do what I have to in order to have some kind of life.
Only my husband knows what pain meds I take and how often. I quit trying to explain to those persons who "just tough it out" and think I should too.
We are all unique and our situations may be similiar but they are not the same. So I try not to judge others and I smile and change the subject as quickly as possible when someone wants to go Doctor on me.
I really like the suggestions and I will try to remember them the next time someone tells me how I should handle my pain.

Take care all,
jnufish

I also get a lot of feedback from my family regarding pain meds. People don't understand and good for them that they don't.

I'm glad my sister doesn't understand that I don't take pain killers because I want to, I take them because I have to. I would hate to think of her being in so much pain that she would understand. We both have the same kidney disease that can cause chronic pain. It seems to differ from person to person.

I don't find that telling people how you feel is always beneficial. Some people aren't very empathetic and or openminded. Honestly sometimes I think it's better to simply quit having the same discussion and agree to disagree. No need to change anyone's mind. Just change the subject. It works pretty well for me and my sister.

I can't really say anything more than what everyone has already said.

My pain is severely out of control and under treated because I haven't gotten up the courage to go to a PM out of fear of the way they may treat me. So I stay home a lot, way too much and have zero life. The pain is too much for me and causes so much anxiety that I can't hold myself together in a public situation, I'm too distracted by the pain to enjoy myself.
Now, is that anyway anyone should live? Just stay home because that is the only place you can suck it up and cling to your heating pad for dear life?

My partner doesn't even know what I take, never asks, and I don't share it with other people anyway. I do share with my mom because we compare meds because we have similar conditions. She is begging me to get on something stronger than Tramadol. She sees I have no life, I can't even travel to see her because I can't handle sitting on a flight, I can barely handle a 20 min trip in the car.

How would your friend like it if you were like me and can never leave the house to do things with her? She would probably vanish like all my friends have.

HUgs, I know it hard

Shlay: I am convince that each person feels pain differently. I have always had a high tolerance for pain. New here, because my pain became excruciating and finally asked Primary Care for pain medication. It barely touched my pain; so she doubled the dose and increased the number of pills I take per day.
Also, I have suffered from panic attacks and anxiety for years; and have (yet) to get most family members to understand it. One family member started suffering from panic, and told me that she finally understood how I felt. (I was saddened that it took so many years for that person to get it.)
No one has any right to criticize another, until they have walked in the person's shoes. No one knows how another truly feels.
I live the life of a hermit; because I am so wore down by criticism, judgement, and ridicule from others. I am very hurt by it. I have been inside by body and mind for 56 years; and think I have the advantage of knowing myself; am insightful, etc------and I do not go around telling others how to feel, and what to think, do and, act.
I wish you the very best & I am sorry your friend lacks compassion.
Empathy goes a long way, in my way of thinking. Maybe we should wonder what it feels like to be suffering like someone else; instead of adding to their problems? Just my humble opinion. Wish you the best.