At this point I could barely creep into bed. Every bone, joint and tendon in my body was screaming in pain. Tues morning they got up and we all went to the library. Walking was painful but I had to do something to occupy them for a little while at least. We came home and it was time for lunch. After lunch they went into the pool. I feel like I am making a long story longer. They were in the pool for about 2 hours. My younger daughter came and picked up her two and my older daughter invited herself and the kids for dinner. We were just having spaghetti and meat sauce so it was no big deal. They left after dinner and I sat and cried. The pain was incredible. I just want to be like other grandma's and be able to do stuff with my grandkids. I feel inadequate and useless. I shouldn't feel this way but I can't help it.

Sounds like grammie regrets saying yes but thats time for them someday they will be thankful for! I have no kids and my sisters are all grown. Finding what I need from the kids is help and them not high. Both boys in twenties drugs is issue. They reluctantly help with my needs at my moms sometimes. One helped dig hole for tree mothers day present which saved my cookies it was big task!

Have as much fine times with them while thier little! They grow so fast!

We were writing same time... Sorry you feel inadequate but the pain just keeps us uncomfortable all the time! Sorry! :-)

Thx Bill.

I understand. I want to be that active grandma, we do what we can do. Just make good memories, even if it's just making a picture puzzle and talking,

Be proud what you and they know you love them.

It is going to be hard, but you can get them to work with you - the kids I mean. Make sure you explain to them that you have to take things slower. You can be there to watch while they do their things, but you need to step back and have them be more independent so you don't "run out of spoons".

Kids are ultimately flexible and as long as there is love and consistency, will adapt and overcome to make any situation work.

Yadlim and my Misha

Jasmine,

I've been suffering in pain for most of my life. My godchild lived in the same home with me while growing up. He's like the son I never could have. Anyway, we did exactly the same; in the backyard I bought a kiddie pool when he was young so he could go in and I could get my feet wet with him. I'd make sandwiches and make like a picnic out in the yard. I'd do whatever I could and when I was in a lot of oain and couldn't move or was sick to ky stomach from the meds, I'd just say, Auntie doesn't feel too good today, do you mind if we stay in and watch a movie or color or paint? I tried to have stuff for indoors and out that kept him occupied but if I couldn't move, we could stay in and do them together.

He's 30 years old now and he'll say remember when you used to make lunch and we'd sit by the pool and eat it or remember when you took me here. He has good memories even though I couldn't do much, what we could do was special and he always felt loved and that special bond.

You're doing what you can and they'll always have good memories of it.

Love and hugs,

Xoxoxo

Mary Ellen

Hey, Jasmine. I'm so sorry you are in so much pain right now. But you made it through! You are not useless. You spent quality time with your grandkids. I bet they didn't even notice the difference. Sure, you're paying for it right now. But you still have two days of memories that you shared with your family. I think you are a very brave and tough lady! You will always find a way to be with your grandkids, even if it is in a modified capacity. I hope you feel better after a few days of rest. You will be in my thoughts and prayers tonight. Hugs!

KIds can be willing to assist you and it can be made into fun at the same time...do you happen to have a wheelchair that instead of walking the whole time they can push grandmother not intot he street :) ?
Try to make a list of ideas to keep them busy-perhaps have a cleaning day..perhaps have a cooking day///have a tv /movie time,have a game time...have just run thru the sprinkler even-don't forget a reading time ..
kids will pick up that you aren't feeling well and will ease up on you if you give them a chance-let them make up a pllay and put on the act for you
etc etc

Thank you all for your support. Like all of you I just wish I could be "normal". But that is not happening and I know I have to deal. But every now and then I am down. I will rebound. I know it but right now it's hard.

:( I'm so sorry but I promise you are NOT inadequate and useless! Your grandbabies are going to grow up and remember these times.

Pace yourself as best you can. It can be very difficult with little ones. I have a 7 and 11 year old and even that can be quite challenging sometimes. There are some days mama can't do much at all and days when mama does a whole lot...the former usually following the latter.

Maybe next time you can work with your daughters to have smaller blocks of time watching them or explain to your grandbabies grandma hurts and we can do x,y,z in the morning but grandma needs to do a,b,c in the afternoon. Or something.

But you are NOT useless or inadequate. I often wish I could be and do what the moms I see on Facebook do but...I can't. And I've mostly accepted this. So, we take advantage when I can and find other things when I can't...like playing Monopoly or poker or other board games we've bought for just this purpose...bonding when mommy is hurting.

Life changes with pain but it doesn't end. And they love you no matter what.

Gentle (((HUGS)))

~Michelle

I know exactly how you feel! I mean really. My daughter was in school and worked so I pretty much watched her first born all the time. I love him to death but some days were very difficult. Over the years, two more came along. I now watch all 3. Again, I love them all, but some days you just want to cry. I don't have many suggestions, buy puzzles, paint supplies, crayons, anything they can do on there on. There are some pretty good educational tv shows that help them with reading, math, etc. And, my 2 year old has concurred watching Dora on the computer. (you tube). She thinks she is just like the older kids.

They have a pool but I don't trust myself alone with them in the water in case something were to happen, but they do get out and have every toy under the sun. But, Dora on the computer, you can't beat that. She would stare all day IF I let her. There favorite thing to do is crawl on Granny. I have a ten, five and two year old, it hurts.

You sound like a very loving grandmother. Don't compare yourself to others. Next time your daughter invites herself and kids to dinner, tell her to do the dishes and clean up. I know about that too. If it gets to much on you, tell them you are sorry but you are not healthy enough to watch them. I know that is a hard thing to do, but you have to take care of you first.

I live with my daughter so it is pretty much a 24/7 type of deal. But, instead of paying me watch them, I trade out room and board. Sometimes she has to work. But, when she gets home, I am off to my room with my big screen and computer, happy as a clam. If you ever need to talk...I am here.