Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
Hey Everybody,
My name is David and I suffer from chronic pain. If there are people that are new here or just watching, please speak up. I need you to let me know I'm not alone. I'm hurting. I have a doctors appointment next week but I am struggling. Daily headaches and neck pain.
There have been long time members lately talking about how good it "used" to be around here and frankly that doesn't sit well with me, being fairly new. People having to defend themselves could stop if we let it.
There's nothing worse than already suffering and have to witness the destruction words can cause.
PLEASE, those who have the experience of how is was or how it could be share it with us. I did some research and found a thread started by Dr. Orrange in 2007 and commented on it. Look at it if you have time.
The needless bickering, bashing, taking sides, letting us fairly new people know how good it used to be is senseless. I have been sucked into it at times and if I've hurt anyone's feelings, I apologize.
Sincerely,
David.
My name is David and I suffer from chronic pain. If there are people that are new here or just watching, please speak up. I need you to let me know I'm not alone. I'm hurting. I have a doctors appointment next week but I am struggling. Daily headaches and neck pain.
There have been long time members lately talking about how good it "used" to be around here and frankly that doesn't sit well with me, being fairly new. People having to defend themselves could stop if we let it.
There's nothing worse than already suffering and have to witness the destruction words can cause.
PLEASE, those who have the experience of how is was or how it could be share it with us. I did some research and found a thread started by Dr. Orrange in 2007 and commented on it. Look at it if you have time.
The needless bickering, bashing, taking sides, letting us fairly new people know how good it used to be is senseless. I have been sucked into it at times and if I've hurt anyone's feelings, I apologize.
Sincerely,
David.
I am fairly new also I am writing with a voice recognition software so please excuse the funny errors because it is difficult to go back and correct them.
With that said I'm not sure what else to say David except that I am here for you and I am grateful that you are here for me. There are several others like Pinky and temper that comes to mind . It is difficult for me to remember each person because of the usernames, but I am so grateful that my new friends are with me. I am frightened up this pain and the medication that my p.m. doctor is prescribing is still not touching it.
Hank
Seems like the same old place to me!! Hugs, Lee
I'm new too, and while I haven't really noticed some of the stuff that seems to have some people riled, I've seen similar things on other sites.
Let's all be adults, respect and support each other, and agree to disagree (politely) when necessary. Basic courtesy shouldn't be all that hard. Can't we all just get along?
Nicole
I sure know I'm going to need support this upcoming week as well. I'm so here for you as you have been for us all!
New and improved is a good thing!
I've been on the Chronic Pain Board since October. And, I have seen some "whopper disagreements". I was sucked in once, and I promise I will not be sucked in again. I've seen you post and comment, and you always seem very positive and upbeat.
I'm here for you, man!!
I absolutely agree with you and with Tigg2, we shouldn't have to walk in our tippie-toes because we have an opinion, and that our opinion might be misunderstood. We come from different countries, with different levels of pain, and we are all here to support each other, even if sometimes we sound like we are arguing, we are just strong minded and we stand our ground when we believe that what we said was right.
I love this place, and I have made really strong friendships here, and I intend to stay here for a long time, or until they find a cure for what ails me.
I've learned alot over this last year. One thing I've learned in life as well as on this board is that you have to take the good with the bad.
I try to stay civil to everyone but I've lost it a few times. I don't have anyone on ignore but there are people I won't reply to.
I'm not a long timer but I'm not brand new either and I lurked a long time before I had the courage, desperation or whatever it was, to reach out. I've seen alot here and walked away several times. I love this site and many of the friends I've made here. I live day to day so yesterday and tomorrow don't really matter to me much. I can't say how things used to be or how they'll be next month. My goal is to make it through the day today.
So my best advice is simply to make the board the best we can today.
I know I speak for many of us when I say YOU make this board a better place David.
I only hope I'm not part of the problem. I give my honest thoughts and bite my tongue alot. I don't judge people by their friends and I've found it's best to not get involved in the spats between my friends.
As much as I like getting involved in the discussions, I believe it's my silence that keeps me out of trouble. Somedays I'm silent alot, ha ha!!
Don't worry about how things used to be and don't worry about anything but making this what you can for today. Since you already do that, David, you've got nothing to worry about.
David I have bumped up the post "Ways to stay positive", because I already made a comment on that post that is directed at exactly this issue. I have been a member of DS for over 3 years and from the very beginning I have considered DS to be my lifesaver... as I had previously suffered through 7 years of pain with very limited support. I would never leave here... though at times I choose to stay away from the boards because of what I perceive as overly negative attitudes.
When I first joined DS there were people on the cp board complaining about how it had gone downhill and how they wished it would go back to being the wonderful caring and supportive place it had been. I didn't understand that and found it somewhat off putting... as what I was experiencing was a wonderful supportive and caring place... and the idea that it had been so much better, but was substandard now that I'd joined, put a little downer on it for a while. So David, I really understand where you are coming from with this post.
However, I made some friends soon after I joined who will be my friends for the rest of my life. They have been here to support me through all of the 3 years, whenever I have been in need... and I try hard to return that support to them as much as I can. To me that is the whole point of DS, and the boards are secondary (just my personal opinion). I have had many, many people come and go on my friends list over the 3 years. Some people just disappear and close their acct without saying why... some people stop being active here and never respond to a hug or mssg again, though they dont close their account... others join and request a friendship but never participate, so you don't become real friends... and others accept an offer of friendship but then you find you are too different in your outlook on life or points of view, so you don't form a real friendship.
The main thing I have learnt is to never give up trying here. As I said in the Ways to stay positive post, I periodically go through my friends list and delete those who have not responded to a hug in over 12 months... and then I go searching for some new friends for my list. I know some people just keep adding more and more people and don't delete anyone... but I find it too overwhelming to have much more than about 30 friends on my list because I am committed to sending hugs to all my friends at least several times a week. The important thing for me is to keep supporting my friends and to send hugs to people who post about their difficulties... in my experience that can be just as important as posting a reply on the board.
People come and people go here... I have seen endless disagreements and clashes of personality. I have seen many trolls and attentions seekers and people who are just disruptive. People have good weeks and bad weeks... some peoples pain is at least partially controlled by the care they receive from pain management doctors... while others can not get any meds at all and must just keep on suffering. Some people have strong personalities and feel comfortable expressing their point of view... some people only ever read here and are too uncomfortable or self-conscious to ever post or to send out a friend request. The cp board has gone into meltdown more times than I can remember. Just as the sub-group Support and Chronic Pain was formed by a member in January this year, there was a sub-group called Positive Chronic Pain formed by a member in March 2008... for virtually the exact same reasons.
The biggest thing that a lot of people forget in all this is that your opinion is only your opinion... it is never right or wrong in a group like this. Regardless of whether someone has posted asking for support or for an opinion, no-one has the right to tell anyone else how to live their life or how to manage their pain. Just because someone posts on the board, it is not an open invitation to anyone to shove their personal opinion down the posters throat. Most often, where people tend to get offended is when there is no use of the words perhaps or maybe or have you considered or you might find and etc. etc.
As far as I can see, that is why a lot of CCs posts rub some people the wrong way. Its because there is no you might find it useful to consider doing this for example... there is only do this or dont do that... and that way of communicating comes across as being very authoritarian... which upsets some people as we are all adults here who dont need an authority to police what we do, regardless of whether we agree with CCs point of view or not. It is a simple case of being polite and using good manners really... and I think that is also why some people took offense to Tippers reply to aaronmacs post, including aaronmac. Because the beginning of Tippers reply comes across as I do this and that is THE right way and what you do is TOTALLY WRONG. Had she said I wonder if you have considered that there may be some unintended consequences of the way your doctor is allowing you to use your medications then it would have had a totally different tone. While she did later attempt to explain that was her concern and was the reason why she posted as she did, it was not necessary to use that strong tone to start with. A gentler and more respectful tone could have conveyed the message just as well, without causing the member to feel he was being personally attacked.
Remember we are ALL in pain here (except for said professional)... and when you post using an aggressive tone you can exacerbate what may already be an extreme level of pain, for the recipient. Its no wonder they can feel stung and then bite back... or run from the board. When you go to post here, we are all aware that it says In posting this I promise to be nice. That appeared as an addition long after I joined... and precisely for this reason. Because this is a support group and we CAN all be nice to each other... even when we have totally opposing points of view. I know that for a fact, because along with all the times I have seen the board melt-down I have seen just as many times where the board has been full of caring and support. All it takes is a little bit of respect for ALL the other members... along with a gentler tone of voice and a more thoughtful choice of words.
Thanks for listening... sending gentle hugs and warm smiles for all... Gaye... xxx
You will always have disagreements on a public forum I think it is just natural the way I deal with it is not to take it personal, when I log off I log off I dont think about it I have never wanted to leave because someone was mean or rude I just sort of move on there are so many nice people on here it outweighs the rude remarks some make.
Plus, sometimes I think it can be just me I might take it the wrong way and it was not even intended to be taken the way I took it, if that makes sense. Sometimes I will re-read it and get a different perspective of what was said and maybe I read to fast of was just cranky at the time.
I tend to ignore the comments from people who are not actually in chronic pain. In my opinion, treating chronic pain is nothing like living it. People who treat CP go home to activities! CP patients go home to pain and exhaustion and the loneliness of people who have "simple" cures. Just my opinion based on the numerous people who seem to have all the answers for me until they are actually faced with a chronic situation.
I generally say a prayer for those who "have all the answers". Someday they may actually experience chronic unrelenting pain. I pray that they can "handle" it with all their advice. They usually find that none of it is worth the breath it took to explain.
Just my humble opinion.
Stay with us. You are always supportive and helpful, PLEASE!
Sunny
You are and have been kind to everyone,you welcome and offer support to the new people as much as you can.
I have noticed your increase in pain,I'm praying for lesser pain days for you. I don't alway have a reply to threads so I shop through the threads and pick up on were I fell comfortable in answering and reading the thread. Personally I try to stay away from disagreements,opinions are each persons right,on an open forum like this,but personal attacks aren't right any were.Gentle Hugs my friend hang in there you have alot of friends rooting for You.