On my 10th year of marriage on my second marriage, I have decided that it is time to get a divorce. This was the worst Christmas ever. I have been begging for the entire time that I needed to be first in my wife's life. She had two children when we got married but they were very young. 3 and 6. We didn't date long which was the biggest problem. We did share the same religious views however. Our first couple of years were rough in a somewhat normal split family way. Things seemed to be getting a bit better, but I have bipolar disorder and it showed it;s ugly face. My wife had started trying to tell me what to do like one of the children from the beginning but when the BP started showing, she started blaming me for everything, In her mind, it gave her license to do whatever she wanted. She got into a text message affair that I do not believe went sexual. My chronic pain started and with the emotional issues it put me in a terribly miserable place. Long story short, my BP got worse and my chronic pain hit the roof. Surgeries, procedures, and everything under the sun could not relieve my pain. She blamed me for our life being so complicated. So she ended up having an affair with the pastor of our church. It was a large church which I played bass guitar and had all of my friends. At least I thought they were friends but I found myself alone. I was devastated and this led to hospitalization. They got my meds straightened out and the BP issues got better but the chronic pain got worst. She blamed me for making her life difficult on her. She always blamed me for everything. I started working to get better, and started my podcast to help others without her support but I felt people needed someone to listen to them. The podcast has helped hundreds including myself. My wife was stricken suddenly with MS and then she began to understand what I had gone through for years. Even with that I was never first in her life. She never did support me even though I was helping other people in every way I could. She is a very selfish person but she never quit trying to treat me like a child. We went out of town for a family Christmas. A situation happened with my step sun who is now 16 and she dealt with it without so much as consulting me. In this situation a list of the family was discussed. I was not so much as mention in the family list. I went to bed before I got angry over it but she chased me to the bed and was completely unwilling to realize that I was never first in her eyes and in this case I was not even given a part in the family dealing. I got in my car and headed home with the decision of divorce very close to the surface. Rather than coming after me to try to save her marriage, she stayed and wallowed in self pity blaming me to her family. Her family has no idea of the 2 txt affairs and the major one that devastated our family not long ago. After years of putting it off, it is painfully obvious that I am not first in her life and that is not a marriage to me. So I have decided at Christmas, that I am going to get my life back and get a divorce. I am motivated to keep helping others and with no support from home, I am finding great support everywhere else. So I am finally going to get my life back and enjoy life and not worry about trust issues and help people more than ever before, I hope that you will join me as I work to help all of us who are suffering with chronic pain. Once season ends but another will start. I have Bipolar disorder, Asperger's and nerve damage in my right brain. Even with all of these illnesses, I have one of the best reputations in my job which is a top manager at a large world wide company, and have started this amazing podcast/website designed to help all people who are hurting. I love helping people and it helps me as well. I encourage all of you to check it out because we have grown to helping all sorts of people around the world. Pray for me in this new chapter and difficult time and join me as we all help each other find a new world of working on less pain and finding new ways to survive. I am really good at this podcast and I am asking you to join me as we Train, Survive, Encourage each other, We trained and succeeded with a half marathon this year. I have ran hundreds of miles, eat a paleo diet, and have learn many ways to survive, RamblingChronicPK.com 2012 is going to be a new start to my life of happiness. I hope so because today is a day of sadness.