Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
For any of you that have been wondering, and even worrying i'm still here and i'm ok. I don't want to worry anyone so i figured i would put this quick post up.
I still do not feel like talking much though, i am in the middle of having an argument with god currently. See i figure i have gotten the shaft here, i have never lost my faith, not through the torture and abuse i suffered as a child, not when the pain started, nor when i lost my job. it didnt even falter when i saw all my hopes and dreams go away on a breeze.
But i cannot even hold my kids anymore and this i cannot take so you see i am angry, angry with the pain,angry with myself, and angry with god....
I do not in any way feel i deserve a normal life, and im sure all the pain im in is karma paying me back for the wrongs i have done in the past, but my kids are innocent, why do they have to suffer.....
Just not in a good place right now........Kris......
I still do not feel like talking much though, i am in the middle of having an argument with god currently. See i figure i have gotten the shaft here, i have never lost my faith, not through the torture and abuse i suffered as a child, not when the pain started, nor when i lost my job. it didnt even falter when i saw all my hopes and dreams go away on a breeze.
But i cannot even hold my kids anymore and this i cannot take so you see i am angry, angry with the pain,angry with myself, and angry with god....
I do not in any way feel i deserve a normal life, and im sure all the pain im in is karma paying me back for the wrongs i have done in the past, but my kids are innocent, why do they have to suffer.....
Just not in a good place right now........Kris......
Im sorry you cant hold your kids, but God still loves you.
I am not going to question your beliefs, because you will believe what you believe. I can only speak to my own experience. I'm a pragmatic sort and feel that my suffering has more to do with genetics than Karma or the will of God. My genetic makeup was just poor and made me susceptible to chronic illnesses. Unfortunately, my parents passed along some bad genes. I don't blame anyone for that, it was just a fluke, a roll of the dice, and I came up with a loosing roll. Now I just do the best with what I have. And I know you do too. Your children are lucky to have you present in their lives. So many kids grow up never knowing their fathers. Yes, your situation is far from perfect, but it is the best you have to offer. And believe me your kids are fortunate to have you! You bring so much into their world with your creative mind. We can focus on what we don't have or how we wish it would be, or we can focus on what we can do with what we have. Hugs, Cathy
I think God lets things happen for a reason. Maybe it is to help someone else in an un imaginable way,,,,that we can't always comprehend.
Or maybe, like me, it is to make "ME" understand others and have more compassion. I'm not nearly as quick to judge that person getting out of their car with a handicap tag as I use to be!!!!
But I understand the down side. It does get to be depressing. We are only human after all.
But as God Told Paul....."My grace is sufficient for you" Paul too, needed a reminder to keep him humble.
Blessings and Hugs Kris!
I realize how stupid my response is. When I hit bottom, I surrender and things happen, but it's hard to explain surrender because if I could keep doing it, I would do it all the time.. At the end of the day, I know nothing because I'm still here.
My heart goes out to you and your family. Sending you peace and love.
Stuff happens. Good things happen to bad people. Bad things happen to good people...read the book. PLEASE do not feel guilty in addition to feeling your pain. Why make it worse? We've all done bad things...at some point. So we should all be in pain or suffering? NO. And we aren't...just SOME of us. Some of us are in pain physically...some mentally...some are poor and homeless...some are richly blessed monitarily....others are blessed with peaceful hearts. I pray the later is you. Peace to you.
First off, I totally get the anger at God. I was very very angry for a long time and I still get angry.... but not at God. There is no judgment in Karma. It just is. Cause and effect. We are not in CP because we did something "wrong." But we all have things to learn in our lifetimes and we are given the opportunity in various ways, one of them being CP.
I questioned my beliefs when the whole pain thing started and worked with the anger and gradually developed a new form of spirituality that I feel is true to my heart and serves me much better.
If we open ourselves to what we dislike or fear or reject, the world opens for us. We change, we transform ugliness into beauty. When I hate the pain, I open myself to the anger, the rejection. Most of all, I try to have compassion for myself as I experience the hate and the anger.
As for your kids, I believe it is a thousand times better that they have a disabled father who loves them, than a healthy one who abuses them. They are fortunate that you have the Karma you have.
Hugs,
Ama
Many times they talked for hours. I know that my husband would rather have one hour of conversation with his father over years of touch. Sometimes we have to redefine or define for ourselves what it means to be a good parent.
I am not the parent I used to be due to my illnesses and pain, does this mean I am less? I do not believe so. I may not can do some things, but the things I can do are priceless and will be to your kids too. So cut yourself some slack. Will you be able to pick them up? Maybe not. Will you be able to help them through those firsts that all kids go through? Sure. Just watch out for the first kiss and love.....those are humdingers!
Sending hugs, love, and comfort.
Tonna