Chronic Pain Support Group

Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...

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Enigma609 08/27/2011

I have had enough of unsolicited advice for my migraines and I am just sick of everyones stupid opinions on what I should do. I've had it all my life and it is so friggen painful so OF COURSE I've tried everything. Hell, I even signed up for an experimental trial to have my heart operated on. (I failed preliminary tests).

whenever someone hears I have migraines or I'm having one at the moment, out comes....."have you tried....(my most hated) accupuncture or excedrine or coffee or no coffee or feverfew or butterbur or an elimnation diet"" or whatever else comes to a persons mind. For heavens sake, few other people with diseases get subjected to this kind of CRAP! If I had MS or Epilepsy or Strokes or was in a wheelchair or with a cane I wouldn't get NONE of this!

You wouldn't beleive the barrage of questions that I have to politely endure while inside I just want to scream SHUT UP, DO YOU THINK I AM SO USELESS AS TO NOT TRY?

I usually wind up telling them that if you take a picture of a migrainer's brain, there are white spots because we are having mini-strokes. People don't understand the seriousness of this disease. Most times now I just clam up and change the subject.

It HURTS SO BAD that I can't speak words properly sometimes. Please please please don't be a hero and offer me advise. I am not talking to anyone here in particular so please don't think it is directed at you. I really do know that people mean well. I am just conveying what it is like to be in my shoes.

I am not an expert in anyone else's pain and suffering, so why do people feel compelled to be so with Migraines? It's not a silly headache. Don't treat me like I'm having one.

Thanks for letting me vent.

deleted_user 08/28/2011

I Think people just want to help, you know be the hero that saves the day. I dont think it is meant to harm. I would love to say that doctors can fix everything but they cant and that is why I guess groups like this have formed way for us to vent and ask for advice.

I do know what you are saying sometimes when the real crazy suggestions like take a Tylenol you will feel better will drive you batty but sometimes a real good suggestion might come in that real does help. I dont know if there is a win win situation when dealing with people.

Enigma609 08/28/2011

Kindness should never be slammed down because of the source of where it came and I would never do that. I am always gracious when it comes from the heart. (Ie, my freind suffers) I think though that there are the know-it-alls that just have to put their two cents in or the alterior motives that want to belittle your pain. (I have pain and mine has to be worse)

I have bad migraines and when I meet a migrainer I don't offer advise. I let it be known that I have them too and if they would like to talk, then I am open. Dialogue is open and not as advise. If they try what I try, so be it. everyone is different.

Therein lies the difference.

I get so angry with accupuncture because there is usually a referral involved = motive. But no accupuncturist guarantees a damn thing.

So many 100's of things to try and nothing works. It is hard to bear this depressive thought and to be reminded of this. I guess there is nothing I can do about this but bitch about this on this forum of friends.

It is nice (but also disheartening) to know that the problem is not just isolated to migraines. I do beleive there is a prejudice there, but I see by some of the posts that people will become prejudice when then don't understand pain of any source.

But please, don't think of me as being touchy on the subject. I am using this forum as it's intended use. I really need to get this emotion out. There should be no rule, nor should anyone stop anyway that they interact with me. People are what they are.

If you meet a migrainer, just say I hope you are getting releif. That would really touch my heart.

deleted_user 08/28/2011

Giant gentle hugs! I know how the migraines can be...excruciating pain.. Feel better soon :)

livewithope 08/28/2011

I get the frustration. I got suckered into responding to that attitude from a nurse just this week I've been through it so much you think I would know better but my blood boils everytime someone starts down the path of 'you need to wean off of meds' 'you might get addicted' etc. It only hurts me to try to defend myself...gets me crying and upset. One day I hope to be able to wave them away but for now they STILL can get 'my goat'.
I hope comments on here are comforting to you. Once we are able to walk away we will be much happier.

keeska 08/28/2011

How about wearing a t-shirt that says "Keep your distance...I will not be responsible for injuries I inflict on well-meaning advice givers." LOL

stranded 08/28/2011

I have migranes but mine are probably not so bad compared to most of yours. My mom has migraines so bad that she can't even take anything to tought the pain and vomiting. Her migranes started when she had climbed up an incline my parents have beside their driveway which is not paved but is full of river rock. This was after a stroke she has that had caused her to have limited equalibrium. Well she fell on the driveway right on the temple. She had two black eyes and they swelled shut. No her migranes start in her temple and she ends up going to the hospital and has to get a ton of moraphine and something else to keep the vomiting down. The doctors there didn't want to give her the meds well the amount she takes to rid her of migrane. Then they realized it was necessary and I am at least glad that she has somewhere to go to for her migranes. The doctors tell my Mom who has CP and alot of exploratory surgeries in the past which made it so that she needs large amounts of pain meds to make anything feel better that if they took that much morphine they would be dead and they think they could kill a horse with that much. My mom ok with their jokes because frankly they are the only people who will help her. She only goes if he just can't stand it anymore. I don't want my migranes to be this bad. I am glad this hospital isn't majoraly drug freaked out.

deleted_user 08/28/2011

Hi Enigma, i know exactly what you mean. I have had these headaches for over 30 yrs. You can imagine the kind of things i have heard. Some of the worst have come out of doctors mouths. I been called a drug addict, been told to just take aspirin, or my head can't really hurt that bad. Even after a serious head injury from a car accident i kept hearing the same old crap. These headaches are very to treat and if you find something that helps you are extremely lucky. I just try and help the young ones or the ones just starting this journey. Big Hug

deleted_user 08/28/2011

i have suffered from chronic migraines almost dalilyfor the last four years. i have tried every prescripy. mig. med. avaiable & lg. doses of narcotics. i'm allergic to morphine. have almost overdosed on anti-inflammatories. i have tried water phys. ther. to try to stretch the tension out of my neck hoping i could keep a headache at bay. i have tried self guided imagerey, accupumcture, medditeranean diets, dark, quiet rooms. THEY DON'T WORK! i have enough other long term chronic pain issues to not have to deal with this one on top of them.like u if one more person gives me unsolicited advice i will bite their head off no doubt guarateeing that they too will be suffering from a migraine. my last hope is botox injections in the muscle spasms in my neck. the last "genius" dr. i saw at the mayo clinic insisted that the tension from my neck had caused spasming which caused an almost total loss of range of motion . he feels that the stiffness causes the chronic migraines. i'm probably not explaining this correctly but he does want to give me a series of botox injections in my neck to see if there is any difference. i've only agreed to one more experiment because i have so much pain in my neck anyway from stiffness that the shots certainly could cause me no harm . i wish u good luck and peace from unsolicitated advide, my fellow sufferer.,

sammyo1 08/29/2011

Your right migraines are not your typcial headaches. They are nothing like other headaches. The pain is enough to make your want to pass out.
I had the same problems in the past & my speech was messed up also. Stroke like symptoms. I feel for you. Til this day Migraines scare me. AS far as advice I don't mind as long as its something that is medically reputable,such as new treatments.
You have my understanding & hope for relief. Sammy

Enigma609 08/29/2011

Love to you all for your understanding and replies. I'm glad I risked posting this. You all are the best for giving me a safe place to speak out on what has been bothering me.

Hope your pain goes away real soon, and stays away

(((((group hug))))))

deleted_user 08/29/2011

Oh my, I'm really sorry, I understand about hearing lots of advice coming at you seemingly all at once and all you feel is excruciating pain and want them all to just leave you alone. You probably know about the things to do to ease your pain already. I hope things get better for you sooner or later :-)

deleted_user 08/29/2011

OMG, I hear you completely and this is a topic the book that I have just published. Everyone else seems to have the secret weapon. You are right, people do not mean any harm by it, but it can get very frustrating to hear all of the things they come up with, like you would not have tried them already. My daughter has RSD/CRPS and Migraines and I am helpless, I have never had one myself, therefore, I cannot offer anything other than listen to what she tells me to do. I know, however, I would like to take all that suffering away, she told me last night it was so bad, she was crying in her bed, praying not to vomit. My heart goes out to you. It is very good to vent!

deleted_user 08/29/2011

I figure if your posting, you want an opinion. if you don't want advice, don't post. that's the nicest way possible i can put it. keep strong tho!

deleted_user 08/29/2011

I am in complete agreement with Ebony. I have migraines too and I do know how devestating they are! The first time I finally gave in and went to the ER for a shot I wnet home and slept for 10 hours. With that said, IF and I don't know if you did, but IF you posted you had a migraine and ask for prayers, or help or understanding, which most people do, then I would expect you, or anybody - including me- to accept the well intentioned help from caring people. Now, even if you asked for understanding, you will get people trying to help. HELP, now, there is an action word meant with the best of intentions. I feel bad that so many members feel upset over such a great group of people who genuinelly care. I am not judging you, just like you, expressing my feelings.

deleted_user 08/30/2011

But wait are you sure you haven't tried............

Yep heard them all myself as well.

Hope today was a better day

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