Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
I was supposed to meet my friend who I baby sit for at our college, I had to study and take a midterm today, we had agreed that I would watch her while I did so in the disabilities testing room...
So she shows up while I'm still sleeping this morning, with her little girl, saying she forgot about meeting at school. The weather is bad and I don't have more than $2 in quarters.
I asked my friend is she had some money to give me, (the money she owes me), and she said she only had enough to buy herself lunch.
I can't very well take the little girl into this sort of weather with no money to boot, incase something goes wrong.
I but her kid stuff all the time. I am a good babysitter, I've been doing it for countless years. Ever since I was old enough to.
I just feel like screaming but I can't show that I'm upset around a 4 year-old.
I just keep getting walked all over but I can't see to stop the forward momentum.
This weather is killing me and so is the stress of school.
I just don't know how to say no. Even if the weather got better, I don't think I could push the stroller, carry my backpack with my laptop in it and watch the kid while I'm being taught the math I need to know for my exam.
GAAHHH
So she shows up while I'm still sleeping this morning, with her little girl, saying she forgot about meeting at school. The weather is bad and I don't have more than $2 in quarters.
I asked my friend is she had some money to give me, (the money she owes me), and she said she only had enough to buy herself lunch.
I can't very well take the little girl into this sort of weather with no money to boot, incase something goes wrong.
I but her kid stuff all the time. I am a good babysitter, I've been doing it for countless years. Ever since I was old enough to.
I just feel like screaming but I can't show that I'm upset around a 4 year-old.
I just keep getting walked all over but I can't see to stop the forward momentum.
This weather is killing me and so is the stress of school.
I just don't know how to say no. Even if the weather got better, I don't think I could push the stroller, carry my backpack with my laptop in it and watch the kid while I'm being taught the math I need to know for my exam.
GAAHHH
I had my laptop all packed up, all I needed to do was change my clothes because I had showered last night.
The little girl hadn't eaten yet and was in need of food and a nap (which she is taking now), so how could I just be like, "HEY I GOTTA GO TOO." With the mood the little girl is in, I would have got nothing done at school.
I'm already so far behind in school I don't know what to do with myself.
She should have just cancelled her meeting. It's not fair to dump that on you. Does she know you have health issues and chronic pain?
She'll keep walking all over you until you learn to say "NO". You have to, for your sake and the sake of your health and mental well-being.
Practice in the mirror- or with someone else. Keep saying it over and over again in your mind. And the next time she tries something like this, the first word out of your mouth should be "NO"! Sorry, but NO! I can't believe she doesn't see you're in pain. I know we hide it from people but we're not that good at hiding it.
I'm sorry you have to be in this situation. But Dear Abby once said, "You can't be a doormat unless you allow yourself to be one".
Sandy
PS, sorry if this sounds harsh, but you are a nice person and I hate to see nice people being taken advantage of.
In Florida we have VPK (voluntary pre-kindergarden) and headstart. These are free if she is in the low income status. At 4 the child is old enough to benefit from being in a day school and you should not be imposed on.
I know it may be hard to say no, but if you offer her an alternative idea it might make it easier to say no. Find out what child care is available for free or very low cost in your area and give her the info.
Your health and school have to be your priority. She had the child that is her responsibility not yours.
Good luck. Stay strong enough to say no. This is your future, don't let someone else screw it up because they are being selfish.
Hugs-RJ
Your schoolwork should take priority.
If you can't say no, just avoid her at all costs!
She is taking advantage of you because you are allowing her to. You need to stand up for yourself and tell her that between your health and school you just can't watch the little one. If she's a friend she'll understand. If not then the friendship isn't what you thought it was.
Be strong and take care of you. You can do this.
I used to get taken advantage of a lot when I was younger. It took me a lot of practise to learn to say no to people. It was something I ended up dealing with in therapy. My doctor recommended a straight out no rather than trying to let people down gently or use excuses. People will make huge efforts to shoot down excuses. But no is no.
Good luck with setting up some boundries. The first time is the toughest. But it's really empowering to finally put your foot down and just say NO!