kris, do you think these questions would have tormented you before CP? they sort of nagged at me before, but i let life get in the way. maybe, the obstacles have been removed. and replaced by new ones, but ones that let you think more.

i'm glad you're here though.

Well, your writing surely has purpose!!! :)

Kris its as if you know exactly what is going on inside my head. I ask myself these questions all the time. What is the purpose of all of this suffering, this pain? What am I supposed to gain or learn from it?

Im still looking for answers and I don't think I will ever find them. And it is frustrating as hell. I totally know what you are going through at least mentally right now!

Gentle hugs,
Jenna

For me the purpose of all my suffering etc is to let others know they can get thru it. I learned along time ago when i sobered up in a 12 step program that i have but one purpose in life , to serve those around me, everyone, my wife, my coworkers, my dogs, my family, my new friends here are people i try to serve. I don't sit on street corners handing out jesus pamplets, i just try to make the lives of those around me better. I have fun at it. For me a life just living a life for myself drove me to abuse drugs and booze and anything else i could abuse my body with.I LOVE LIVING and i love people.Life isn't complicated you are either taking or giving, and the greatest purpose is life, in my opinion , is to simply try to make others lives better. Even tho my body is beaten up, broken in places, and like others here, i suffer lots of pain at times, but what gets me thru it eveyday when i wake up is knowing i have others to love, serve, and try to make their lives a little better. When i was willing to lose myself thru serving others and making their lives better, than i found myself and my purpose.

I can fully relate to what you are saying Kris. I, too, feel that this life is for purpose. I think I have found part of mine as of late.

I am also looking forward to getting a ramp done so I can have free access to the community. I really feel that there are many things that I NEED to do on behalf of advocacy and community resources for others like me, like us.

You will find your way...keep thinking positively my friend. Take all that pain and all that misery and turn it into empowerment for greater things.

HUGS

This gives me so much to think about. Since my disability I have found that I have discovered many different purposes. Things that I would have never thought of before this whole process.
I look at life so much different now.
May all of you start a new day today and search for a new different way of your life after disability.
hugs
Cindi

Very interesting, is this yor own writing n thoughts? Amazing writing!! Xoxo michelle

Read your post at the exact right time for me. I have gone from the co-bread winner to the "sick" spouse at home. It has crushed me. I have qualified for disability and took an early retirement. I feel worthless! Now post-op from open heart surgery, I am severely limited in activity. I currently search for my purpose and find little.
Thanks for your inspiring post.

Sometimes we have to just be. Existing is example to others to continue despite pain and struggles. Plus, you never know how a smile or small thing you do for someone else might change a persons day for the better.

Great post

I too think of the same thoughts daily. I am working through these issues with my counselor. I've learned so far that my "purpose" has changed from what I always felt it was, and that's ok because life is constantly changing for everyone. At this point I'm taking baby steps and agree with SunnyBunn that things as simple as a smile or conversation may be my purpose ....... just for today. : )

Thanks for your inspiring, thought provoking words Kris!

Kris,

Forgive me for being so forward, but I think your purpose is quite clear. As I see it, it is on two fronts. First of all, you are an accomplished writer. It is my humble opinion that you should use that incredible gift to tell your story. Kris, your story is unique in many ways, but the CP side would be of value to so many. And you have an incredible gift at putting your experience into words. Use it and make us all proud!

The second purpose I see is as a family guy. You have children to raise. A wife to love and cherish. This part takes creativity too on the part of someone who lives with CP.

I appologise if I have overstepped a boundary here, but I think of you as an incredibly talented man. And I would love to see you published one day. Hugs, Cathy

Have you ever read the book of Job, Old Testament?

Yes I have read the book of Job, i have read both new and old testament, i have read the Qur'an, The tenants of Buddhism, and many other religious texts.

I try to never confuse my chronic pain with religious faith, my musings about my purpose in life are in no way associated with my faith. Thank you for the question though.

And CW I am a dedicated parent, but I am questioning my other purposes in life, i feel as though there is something else i should be doing, not something other than parenting, but something i should be doing as well. And thank you for the comments about my writing. I know i have always shown an aptitude for it but honestly I do not care to express myself through that medium.

I don't know people, I just feel as though im at the beginning of a road and i have no clue where it is going......

Kris......

Kris...this is good to hear....wasn't that long ago you were feeling at the end of the road.

Why am i here? Why do I suffer? What is my purpose?

Your comments stir up the same questions I have asked in recent years. My comment was not to raise any religious thoughts. But in Job, the prevailing thought is one of "life is full of mysteries for which there are no answers".

Early in life we develop a purpose based on our training from teachers, parents, peers. We enter adulthood with a plan for our lives. And then, all of a sudden, our plans come to a screaming halt because of these medical conditions which robs us of our life as we know it. Now what do we do?

Previously in life we had assistance from others in our personal development. But now all that experience is not there with helping us shape our "new" life. We cannot find the answers. Where are they? In books, others' experience, from our faith, a spouse, friends, where can they be found. I for one, do not know. Can I set new goals, what are they. Can I lay out a new life plan, is it too late, what is it, how am I going to obtain it?

Personally, I struggle from day to day seeking what I can do with this somewhat disfuntional body, it is no longer the one I used to have. I have to settle for cleaning the bathroom, mopping floors, doing laundry, helping my son, listen to my wife, cooking meals. I stay as active as I can but it is totally different from my life ten years ago. I had an identity which created a social life. I do have a new identity but socially not a lot of folks want to be a part of it.

What to do? Be grateful for this gift of life? Seek small accomplishments? Participate in life as much as I can? Live for today and not tomorrow? Take up space? Do not know the answers. What was yesterday is no longer. What is today, not what I planned. What is tomorrow, God only knows.

Peace.