Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
Have you ever wondered what your "purpose" is in life? I honestly don't think I ever really thought about it until I was forced to live with chronic pain. All of the things that we naturally take for granted became so much harder to do. Just getting up and walking to the bathroom is a real task for me. Through the years, as I have struggled with intense pain 24/7, I have often wondered what my "purpose" is in life. Why was I suffering so much? The big "why me?" would always creep in there. I responded yesterday to a post that ddscarb initiated about parenting and it reminded me about my "purpose" in life, or least what I THINK it is and why I am living with all of this pain. At least, this is the best I can come up with. Only God knows what our true purpose is, but somehow, I find my own theory rather comforting. Others may still be wondering and have yet to figure it out, however, I would like to share the following. Please bear with me as I know this is rather long.
After I had my 1st back surgery, the recovery was really, really bad. I was in soooo much pain that I contemplated committing suicide. We had no kids yet and had only been married for 1 yr. All I knew at the time is that I DID NOT want to live with the intense pain I felt. I eventually dug myself out of that dark place and began appreciating life a little more. Just hearing the birds chirp, and seeing the flowers bloom made me have a much greater appreciation for life. Perhaps that is because I came close to ending it all. After a full year off of work, I finally returned, and even though I had to take a huge cut in pay and job grade, I worked hard to gain it all back. We quickly had Brandon & Brittany and my career was in full swing again. I still had to take it easy and definitely had limitations, but it felt good to support my family while my husband stayed home full time with the kids. The hours I worked were terrible though. I was in managment and worked 2nd shift and lived 1 full hour away from home, which meant a 2 hour commute, round trip. I had a little bit of time in the morning with my kids, then I would have to get ready for work and by the time I would get home (around 11:00pm-12:00am) at nite, the kids were obviously in bed, which really only gave me the weekends to really spend time with them. I missed out on so much when they were really little, so my husband would videotape almost every day and I would watch the "days events" when I got home at night. Thank God for camcorders! lol
Fast forward 5 yrs of working when I began to get worsening pain in my back. At first, I thought I had just overdone it, however, when 1, 2,3, 4 days went by and it wasn't any better, I KNEW something was terribly wrong. A visit to my neurosurgeon and another MRI and spinal tap later, and a diagnosis of Spinal Stenosis was determined. My body went limp when I found out that I would have to have another surgery. I did not want to go back to that "dark place" I was in before, and I had kids now to think about, so everything was really scaring me. I tried to look at the positive side and had alot of hope that it would help me in the wrong run, but it wasn't meant to be. The surgery took place and while I felt better initially, 8 weeks post-op, everything came crashing down. Things took a huge turn for the worst, and I ended up permanently disabled as a result. It was extremely hard to accept at first. I really went through a very rough period and felt like I had let down my family. I felt like a failure, because they had depended on me. I was responsible for our only source of income and working 2nd shift gave us another 10% shift differential which we could not give up, which is the reason I could never go to 1st shift to have more time with my babies.
I think you may already know where I am going with all of this. Brandon & Brittany were 4 & 5 yrs old when I was forced to quit work, however, it was such a blessing to be home full time with my kids. I felt so blessed when I was able to see Brandon off for his first day of school and while he was away all day, I would help Brittany to read as she would come walking in with a huge mountain of books, eager to learn. lol By the time Brittany started kindergarten, her reading ability was tested and she was already reading at a 3rd grade level! I felt so proud and knew that alot of that was due to the time I was able to spend with her. Yes, I was in excrutiating pain, but took the opportunity I was blessed with to do the best job I could at being a Mother because this opportunity would not have have been available had I still been working. I am proud to say that my kids, who are 11 & 13 yrs old right now, are both in advanced classes and both play in the band. This past school season, Brandon was the ONLY 7th grader at his school to make "Honors Band" and 1 yr ago was nominated to participate in a "Student Ambassador" program. We couldn't afford the trip to Europe, however, the nomination meant alot to us as well as Brandon.
So, we come back to the original question of "what is my purpose in life"? I think that for me, it was to be home with my kids full time so that I could make the biggest impact on their lives. I was so busy before with my job and the hours I worked, that I would not have had that time with them. Sure, I would have done the best I could with the circumstances, however, I can truly say that I am the Mother I was INTENDED to be and I count my blessings every day.
What about you? Have you found your "purpose" in life? If so, I would love to hear about it if you are willing to share.
Thanks you & God Bless!
Carrie
After I had my 1st back surgery, the recovery was really, really bad. I was in soooo much pain that I contemplated committing suicide. We had no kids yet and had only been married for 1 yr. All I knew at the time is that I DID NOT want to live with the intense pain I felt. I eventually dug myself out of that dark place and began appreciating life a little more. Just hearing the birds chirp, and seeing the flowers bloom made me have a much greater appreciation for life. Perhaps that is because I came close to ending it all. After a full year off of work, I finally returned, and even though I had to take a huge cut in pay and job grade, I worked hard to gain it all back. We quickly had Brandon & Brittany and my career was in full swing again. I still had to take it easy and definitely had limitations, but it felt good to support my family while my husband stayed home full time with the kids. The hours I worked were terrible though. I was in managment and worked 2nd shift and lived 1 full hour away from home, which meant a 2 hour commute, round trip. I had a little bit of time in the morning with my kids, then I would have to get ready for work and by the time I would get home (around 11:00pm-12:00am) at nite, the kids were obviously in bed, which really only gave me the weekends to really spend time with them. I missed out on so much when they were really little, so my husband would videotape almost every day and I would watch the "days events" when I got home at night. Thank God for camcorders! lol
Fast forward 5 yrs of working when I began to get worsening pain in my back. At first, I thought I had just overdone it, however, when 1, 2,3, 4 days went by and it wasn't any better, I KNEW something was terribly wrong. A visit to my neurosurgeon and another MRI and spinal tap later, and a diagnosis of Spinal Stenosis was determined. My body went limp when I found out that I would have to have another surgery. I did not want to go back to that "dark place" I was in before, and I had kids now to think about, so everything was really scaring me. I tried to look at the positive side and had alot of hope that it would help me in the wrong run, but it wasn't meant to be. The surgery took place and while I felt better initially, 8 weeks post-op, everything came crashing down. Things took a huge turn for the worst, and I ended up permanently disabled as a result. It was extremely hard to accept at first. I really went through a very rough period and felt like I had let down my family. I felt like a failure, because they had depended on me. I was responsible for our only source of income and working 2nd shift gave us another 10% shift differential which we could not give up, which is the reason I could never go to 1st shift to have more time with my babies.
I think you may already know where I am going with all of this. Brandon & Brittany were 4 & 5 yrs old when I was forced to quit work, however, it was such a blessing to be home full time with my kids. I felt so blessed when I was able to see Brandon off for his first day of school and while he was away all day, I would help Brittany to read as she would come walking in with a huge mountain of books, eager to learn. lol By the time Brittany started kindergarten, her reading ability was tested and she was already reading at a 3rd grade level! I felt so proud and knew that alot of that was due to the time I was able to spend with her. Yes, I was in excrutiating pain, but took the opportunity I was blessed with to do the best job I could at being a Mother because this opportunity would not have have been available had I still been working. I am proud to say that my kids, who are 11 & 13 yrs old right now, are both in advanced classes and both play in the band. This past school season, Brandon was the ONLY 7th grader at his school to make "Honors Band" and 1 yr ago was nominated to participate in a "Student Ambassador" program. We couldn't afford the trip to Europe, however, the nomination meant alot to us as well as Brandon.
So, we come back to the original question of "what is my purpose in life"? I think that for me, it was to be home with my kids full time so that I could make the biggest impact on their lives. I was so busy before with my job and the hours I worked, that I would not have had that time with them. Sure, I would have done the best I could with the circumstances, however, I can truly say that I am the Mother I was INTENDED to be and I count my blessings every day.
What about you? Have you found your "purpose" in life? If so, I would love to hear about it if you are willing to share.
Thanks you & God Bless!
Carrie
I lost my brother when he was 24 and I was 25. He had overcome drugs and went back to school, then college and it was his last year and he was going to be an engineer until a drunk driver took his life. We were very close and it tore the very fabric of the meaning of life away.
I'm turning 50 this year and I've had life bounce me around pretty hard at times, and I've had my want-to-give-up moments. I'm certainly not an expert on life because I'm only 50 and have a ways to go in the wisdom department. But from halfway up the hill, I would say, so far, I think the purpose in life is a string of events that lead up to pulling other people up the hill with you, based on your own life's experience. It doesn't matter how many you pull up, but just that you do. As Mickey says, "anyone God puts in my path." Sometimes it makes sense down the road, and sometimes it makes no sense at all. But ultimaltey, as long as there is a heart beating in my chest, there is a purpose in my soul.
Angela
I am deeply touched that you shared your story. You have such a positive outlook on life and I can tell that what you wrote is coming straight from your heart. it is obvioius that you have a greater appreciation for life after struggling with some very difficult times.
Thanks for sharing your story....God Bless!
Carrie
I'm a musician and I always thought my purpose was to share music with others, to somehow benefit them. But I now see that my talent is not so important. It's more the intention to give of myself in some way.
And as many people pointed out, that can be a tiny little thing like a smile to a cashier.
Fot a year now, I have been very isolated due to my CP and frustrated in my attempts to give in the way I am used to (music or volunteering or just being with people). And so I question my purpose. What can I do?
At this point, nothing. I can only offer prayers, and support by phone or on-line. I can listen to people I talk to. Give them my full attention if I am well enough.
So basically, I think my purpose is to give energy when I have it, and if not, use it to heal myself so that I can, another day.
I am learning to give but not to empty myself in the process, by following my heart.
So I guess my purpose is to speak, act, and give from the heart.
Thank you Carrie for the opportunity to reflect on this very important question and thank you everyone for sharing your hearts.
hugs,
Ama
We must have been typing at the same time. I hope you didn't think I had overlooked you. You and I are nearly the same age (I am almost 49 yrs) and I love what you said about pulling people up. I am a very positive person and do my best to encourage & support others, including people I barely know. I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your brother. That must have been extremely difficult. Death is difficult to begin with, but when you know that it was caused needlessly by someone else's negligence, I think it is even harder. I lost an uncle to a drunk driver. I was also hit by a drunk driver (7 car pile-up) when I was 25 yrs which was the beginning of my nightmare. It has been a difficult road, but I am surrounded by so many blessings and that helps me to get through the day.
ddscarb,
What can I say. You have such a way with words that every time you write, I find myself drawn to your faith in God and your outlook on life in general. I find myself learning something new every time I read your posts.
AmaSun,
You and I have already talked about "intention". I love the idea that we should act upon our intention to do something, especially something positive either for ourselves or for others.
I am so appreciative that everyone has opened their hearts to share their stories. So many life experiences to learn from. I hope that we can all learn from each other, not only by what is written here, but we will continue to do so as time goes on.
God Bless Everyone!
Carrie