Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
Or perhaps the fantastic? Have you ever had an odd experience, such as a cold spot in a room that gave you the shivers, or unexplained happenings? I'm not sure I did, until a few hours ago.
With Easter weekend over, I went to bed, exhausted, overtired, overworked and more than ready to sleep. My RSD has been overactive this busy weekend & I've had VERY little sleep. I was so tired & not feeling well as I just recovered from a 36 hour stomach bug.
At about 11pm I woke, knowing I'd had a dream that I couldn't remember. I felt off. I was having pain in my lower back & stomach, not just the RSD affected foot. It was odd enough that I woke up & didn't go back to sleep.
But I couldn't sleep & was quite agitated. I took my meds for pain & muscle aches and lay back down. That's when it hit me. It's April 1st. 10 years ago this night, my firststborn son was taken from me. A nurse had told me I was NOT in labor & sent me home the day before, and that gave the situation time to develop into a serious problem. The umbilical cord prolapsed and my dreamed & prayed for child died.
Jacob died in my womb just minutes after getting to the hospital a 2nd time. I had a long, painful labor during which I was terrified someone would touch or bump my RSD afflicted limb. And while my baby's heart had stopped beating, my son was born perfect. Blonde hair, curled at the nape of his neck, blonde eyebrows, and a perfect face. When I think of him, I use that word a lot- "Perfect". And if ONLY his heart had been beating, it would've been.
Now, as a mother to a 3 year old son, I've been so busy over the years that the grief seemed to lessen. I cry & remember my 1st son every year on his birthday, and to be honest, much more often than that. But past years with a child have kept me busy, distracted, and grateful for the child I DO have.
Yet this morning, my body woke me at almost the exact time I was rushed to the hospital in 2003. I know odd things happen, just not usually to me. But it happened. And when I realized the date, I had a rush of memories I haven't had in many years. I even got down the scrapbook I'd made with his footprints, photos, baptismal certificate, the birth "certificate" they issue in the hospital, etc.
I don't know what happened, exactly, but despite the sleep I am losing, I'm happy it did. I needed to grieve. I didn't realize how much grief I'd set aside. And maybe my body was reacting oddly b/c of the stressful holiday weekend. But for once, I'd like to believe the "fantastic" explanation. It comforts me.
Now my 3 year old is awake & I'm concentrating on him. But my 1st born son is never far from my thoughts. Jacob Charles, born 10 years ago today, April 1st, 2003.
With Easter weekend over, I went to bed, exhausted, overtired, overworked and more than ready to sleep. My RSD has been overactive this busy weekend & I've had VERY little sleep. I was so tired & not feeling well as I just recovered from a 36 hour stomach bug.
At about 11pm I woke, knowing I'd had a dream that I couldn't remember. I felt off. I was having pain in my lower back & stomach, not just the RSD affected foot. It was odd enough that I woke up & didn't go back to sleep.
But I couldn't sleep & was quite agitated. I took my meds for pain & muscle aches and lay back down. That's when it hit me. It's April 1st. 10 years ago this night, my firststborn son was taken from me. A nurse had told me I was NOT in labor & sent me home the day before, and that gave the situation time to develop into a serious problem. The umbilical cord prolapsed and my dreamed & prayed for child died.
Jacob died in my womb just minutes after getting to the hospital a 2nd time. I had a long, painful labor during which I was terrified someone would touch or bump my RSD afflicted limb. And while my baby's heart had stopped beating, my son was born perfect. Blonde hair, curled at the nape of his neck, blonde eyebrows, and a perfect face. When I think of him, I use that word a lot- "Perfect". And if ONLY his heart had been beating, it would've been.
Now, as a mother to a 3 year old son, I've been so busy over the years that the grief seemed to lessen. I cry & remember my 1st son every year on his birthday, and to be honest, much more often than that. But past years with a child have kept me busy, distracted, and grateful for the child I DO have.
Yet this morning, my body woke me at almost the exact time I was rushed to the hospital in 2003. I know odd things happen, just not usually to me. But it happened. And when I realized the date, I had a rush of memories I haven't had in many years. I even got down the scrapbook I'd made with his footprints, photos, baptismal certificate, the birth "certificate" they issue in the hospital, etc.
I don't know what happened, exactly, but despite the sleep I am losing, I'm happy it did. I needed to grieve. I didn't realize how much grief I'd set aside. And maybe my body was reacting oddly b/c of the stressful holiday weekend. But for once, I'd like to believe the "fantastic" explanation. It comforts me.
Now my 3 year old is awake & I'm concentrating on him. But my 1st born son is never far from my thoughts. Jacob Charles, born 10 years ago today, April 1st, 2003.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Your post made me cry and I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful son Jacob.
I don't believe in coincidences. I believe God made you remember this event- and so did your own spirit, because it's an important anniversary of your son's birth- and death. We all get busy and tend to put things in the back of our mind- how else would we go on? But every so often, on important days, it's time to remember, to bring back the memories and both celebrate and grieve at the same time
God bless you for going through this and thank God for Jaden. He is the light of your life and means the world to you and helps you continue on despite your pain and grief from losing Jacob.
Love to your family and to you especially,
Sandy
I believe in mysterious things happening, I saw John Edwards once at a show he had. He told me that my member of the family who passed was talking to me. He has a book out I can't recall the name but you can look it up at chapters or amazon. John Edwards. Hope this helps isabee
The first time I ever saw my husband cry is when we went to visit Jeffrery's grave in the baby's cemetery. There are no words or comfort to the parents and unless you have stood in those shoes I don't think anyone can really imagine the emotions.
I pray for peace in your heart. Do I believe in coincidences? Sometimes, but this round I guess I believe in Angel kisses.
Reason-my mother was dying. I was to leave my house at 6 in the morning driving a 1000 miles to be with her. She did not want me to come and see her that way. At 4:10 in the morning I sat straight up in bed and told my husband that she just passed by me and she was gone. He looked at me like I was nuts, but the phone rang and it was the hospital. She had died at 4:10, November 17. Coincidence or angelic?
Be at peace. Love the ones who needs you daily. I am so sorry for you loss. There are no words. I will continue to pray for peace for you and your family.
Hugs-RJ
When my mom passed away (6 months after Jacob) I spent the entire day in the hospital hospice ward with her, and she could barely speak. She was SO out of it & was pointing as best she could at nothing for a great deal of the day. She wanted me to see what she was seeing. I waited and waited & the nurse told me to go home (my Grandma's house at the time as I lived out of state) and come back in the morning. I went back FOUR times (at least) to kiss her goodbye.
I felt she wanted me to go but didn't want her to die alone. Still, she was finally resting so I went. I got home, was grumpy as Hell, and picked a fight (1 sentence argument where I just was overtired & snapped at my poor Grandma) and said I was taking a nap. I laid down, and woke a half hour later. I FELT my Mom was gone. I mean, I KNEW it.
I got up to tell grandma we had to go to the hospital to check and the phone rang. My mom had passed. The hospice nurses said they see it all the time- patients waiting to pass on. My Mom KNEW I'd relive it forever if I was there when she died.
So I truly believe she waited for me to go, and visited me in a way when I woke up & was sure she was gone. I am so logical, but when it comes to the deaths of family members, I FELT it. So I feel better knowing others do, too.
It's a difficult day, and my poor 3 year old doesn't know how to deal with a mom who hasn't slept for 4 days. I'm letting him do just about anything today as long as he stays in the playroom/rec room with me. I'm so tired it's just easier to keep an eye on him.
Stress certainly knows how to make pain worse. I am beyond exhausted & stressed, and my back and foot aren't letting up. What a day. I just pray I'm able to sleep through the night after my hubby gets home.
Again, thanks for the kind responses. Sandy- you're so right. RJ- I LOVE the idea of angel kisses and will remember that term!
I am giving you a huge embrace right now!! Thank you for sharing that hun; I know it has to be so difficult for you bc noone should have to bury their baby. Jacob is waiting on you and he gave you a kiss reminding you of that; I believe that is why you woke up. I am sure he also thinks of his momma and looks over his brother as well. I have also experienced something I couldn't explain when my grandfather was dying. I had said goodbye to him the day before and I knew everything was grim. I prayed over him asking Jesus to take him home to take away his pain. My grandfather would never go anywhere without telling me goodbye. That night I fell asleep finally after midnight and saw him standing over me smiling telling me good bye "beth passon" which was his nickname for me and he said "don't worry I will see you again and I am fine; just fine". I woke up, sat straight up in bed and it was 3:30 am. The phone rang immediately and it was my mom who said he is gone; I asked what time he died and she said 3:30. Coincidence or heaven sent? I believe in heaven and I know that one day we will be reunited with our loved ones and our beloved children that have gone before. My grandpa was quite the story teller with sound effects and everything so I bet those little children love to gather round for the daily stories he must be telling!! Love and hugs to you and prayers to comfort your heart in only the way God can!!