Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
So Last night, I did it, I left my hermit hole, braved the cold, and went out with my wife and here co-workers. I should've known better, I should have but I was tired of being cooped up....
So we went out to dinner at a pricey french bistro type place, my wife's boss you see was paying for everyone even at $50 a plate. The food was crap, the chairs were torture and I felt like everyone was staring at me every 5 minutes as I stood up with my cane, shifted, and generally seemed uncomfortable. I should have known better than to go out to eat with healthcare professionals, they can always see through the i am fine comments...
Finally we left, now all i had to do was sit through a trip to the ice cream shop which seemed easy, since i love ice cream. I should have known better, the temp in that place was like 40 degrees, and i had to stand the whole time because it was so busy....
Finally i thought it was over, until everyone wanted to go to the bowling alley, so i went i saw the look in my wife's eyes, i knew she was having fun. So off to the bowling alley we went.
I should have known better.....
I used to be a great bowler, i bowled a 300 game once when i was young....healthy......the good old days.....
I knew that i was hurting too bad to bowl, so i sat up at the table and had a few beers, i don't know if it was seeing everyone having fun, I don't know if it was the beers, i don't know what it was that made me do it, but i asked my wife if i could throw here next frame.....
So I throw a perfect strike I knew it the minute the ball left my hand i knew it......I also should have known better.......
As soon as i let the ball go my left knee went as well, i felt it let go, then grind, then blinding pain washed over me....until i hit the lane face first, popped my elbow and shoulder when i tried to catch myself.
So i ruined it, it was over, my wife's bubble had popped, she cried all the way home feeling as if somehow she was the cause......
As i sit here typing my body battered and broken it keeps going though my head over and over........
I should have known better....
......Kris........
So we went out to dinner at a pricey french bistro type place, my wife's boss you see was paying for everyone even at $50 a plate. The food was crap, the chairs were torture and I felt like everyone was staring at me every 5 minutes as I stood up with my cane, shifted, and generally seemed uncomfortable. I should have known better than to go out to eat with healthcare professionals, they can always see through the i am fine comments...
Finally we left, now all i had to do was sit through a trip to the ice cream shop which seemed easy, since i love ice cream. I should have known better, the temp in that place was like 40 degrees, and i had to stand the whole time because it was so busy....
Finally i thought it was over, until everyone wanted to go to the bowling alley, so i went i saw the look in my wife's eyes, i knew she was having fun. So off to the bowling alley we went.
I should have known better.....
I used to be a great bowler, i bowled a 300 game once when i was young....healthy......the good old days.....
I knew that i was hurting too bad to bowl, so i sat up at the table and had a few beers, i don't know if it was seeing everyone having fun, I don't know if it was the beers, i don't know what it was that made me do it, but i asked my wife if i could throw here next frame.....
So I throw a perfect strike I knew it the minute the ball left my hand i knew it......I also should have known better.......
As soon as i let the ball go my left knee went as well, i felt it let go, then grind, then blinding pain washed over me....until i hit the lane face first, popped my elbow and shoulder when i tried to catch myself.
So i ruined it, it was over, my wife's bubble had popped, she cried all the way home feeling as if somehow she was the cause......
As i sit here typing my body battered and broken it keeps going though my head over and over........
I should have known better....
......Kris........
You just wanted to have fun I get that. I played way to hard with my grandaughter on thursday. I haven't been able to do anything but sit, recline and lay in the bed.
Someday we'll learn to listen to that voice that tells us "NO don't do it."
Healing hugs Kris take is easy on yourself. It's so hard to not participate in the fun.
The only good thing that came from it is my wife's boss was there and he's my new pain management doc...
So your not alone.....I completely understand your feelings. Nothing is easy with chronic pain.
Take care, I hope your feeling better soon.
Gentle hugs!
Deb
I thought about starting a buckit list , you know a list of things to do before I kick the bucket. But as I started to write I realized that every single thing I wrote would be extremely difficult if not outright impossible.
So then i moved on to a fuckit list, thing I could no longer hope to do. at the top of that list bowling was number one. I got about a half page in and my hands started aching so i took a break. during my break i decided to check my mail that i have left sitting all weekend because i am tired of looking at bills and lo and behold this on isn't a bill, its a referral notice.
One more doctor i guess, and look surprise surprise, one more thing wrong, on top of everything else now my kidneys are failing.....woo-hoo, when it rains it pours...
If anyone needs me i'll be in the corner pulling my hair out.....Kris....
I am so sorry that you had a lousy time but I am sure it meant a lot to your wife that you went. I am sure she needs to see a little bit of normal, too.
But, at the same time I totally empathize with you and your frustration at yourself.
If there is a next time, would you consider going out but setting time boundaries?
Please don't give up. Your wife and three little ones need you...and we at DS need you to.
Please know that you will be in my prayers this week, (and your family also).
I know also that EDS and chronic pain are a real bummer...I do not like the limitatins that either has placed on my life.
Big gentle hugs,
Melinda
Now THAT is...LOVE
People may say it .... but that right there is SHOWING just how much you love her...getting through a night like that ...
I'm sure it made her happy that you gave it your all...
I still refer to your "baby steps" for inspiration, maybe you should revisit them...........hugs.......jc
Kris has EDS and numerous other health issues now.
Kris I'm so sorry your having to deal with so damn much. It's not freakin fair. I wish I could take away some of your pain but I can't. All I can do is pray and ask all my friends to pray for you. You know how to reach me if you just need to vent, talk or cry. I'm here for you my friend.
Healing hugs
What a shame, it took another one of us I thought you were one of the strong ones of us?
Are you mad? I hope so fight for your list, dont give up dont stop going out with your wife. You are not broken you just took it a bit to far and you will get better and you will fight to be as good as you can be with this damn disease.
You are strong, smart, good man dont you forget that dont let one night determine how you are going to be tomorrow.
I know what you did as my hubby would of did the same thing you were sitting there and you wanted to get up and bowl a strike so you walked up without warming up and gave it all you have, a person without CP can hurt themselves that way also. You were trying to show your wife you still got it. It is the mating courtship.
You are a good person dont give up please.
See women are used to subliminating their needs for the good of their family. Everything from doing without new clothes so the kids get a new coat to taking the smallest portion at dinner because the husband wants seconds. So it boggles my mind that you would do something for yourself when it's clear how much your wife needed this night out.
I know some people are reading this with their jaw dropped but you all know I call 'em like I see 'em. Kris I am so sorry you are in pain and hope that a few days of rest will see you fixed up. I know that I can never give up my mission to make my families lives as normal as possible but part of that means making sure I don't do anything that will draw attention away from their special moments. This pain journey that we are all on gives us lots of options. It's up to us to make the wise choices.
P.S. I don't think the bald spots you will get from pulling your hair out would compliment your looks.
I gave up trying to be normal a long time ago and frankly that doesn't really bother me, I think normal is highly overrated. And I know all about going without for my family, its what i specialize in, also I didn't mention that I sat there for another two hours after i fell so she could spend time with her friends, I also didn't mention that by the time I tuck her and my children into bed i had to cut my jeans off to get out of them.
And tigg, please continue to call em like you see em, thats one of the things that i love about you.Just please in the future dont question what i do or do not do for my family.