great article. shared on my FB page. thanks!
so glad to be back. DS wouldn't let me log in the last 2 days.
wishing everyone warmth on this frigid day.

Great article! Thanks for sharing :)

Excellent article. T*anks for postin* it.

Dixie,
I haven't even read article yet, but am so glad you posted this.

I've wondered how to bring up what this life is like for our
Families.
Thanks
Hug......jc..

OK.
Now I read it.
Great!
I'm going to have my husband read it.
Good idea, Dix......I think
We should think and talk about how our pain
Impacts our poor, dear families so much.
Hug.....jc..

I'm blessed to have a very loving caring husband. My pain and conditions has affected him a lot. I never thought he would be one to suffer from depression.

Men are really down on themselves when they feel they can't provide for their family efficiently.
They are fixers not talkers. And when they can't 'Fix' something it worries them.

Years of just worrying about me ...he now suffers from depression and it makes me feel really bad. And then I don't want to share anything with him because I'm afraid it will just make him more depressed.
And then when I don't share, he gets mad at me for not telling him what's wrong lol

It seems to be a vicious cycle.
Me, guilty for making him feel bad because of my condition
Him, guilty because he can't help me.

And then the worry of kids and how it affects them! My son is seeing a counselor now because of his anger issues. Turns out his biggest problem is that he is worried about me. It breaks my heart!

Our families need special attention to. Communication is important but how do you do that without depressing them? ya know?

I do know, Dix....and this is a great topic.
I know I'd like to talk about it more.
I'm even more loopy than usual (yeh, I know, that,s a lot)
From meds change......
But will definitely revisit this when fog clears.
Thanks again.
Hugs....jc..

Great post Dixie..
Communication is so vital...
It's only since joining DS that I let down the "alls good" curtain down so thankyou my DS friends.... it's helped me build better relationships in the real world.... that article just proves how important it is to talk...
Dixi, it sounds like you have a wonderful and supportive family... thankyou for sharing.....

OK.......slightly less foggy now.

I, too have a wonderful, supportive husband and family.
I've just recently become more fully aware of how my health situation has so impacted them.
Having to take over my responsibilities.....and take care of me as well....including my adult daughter who lives with us with her 15mnth son.....taking care of me. And my home......

They also have to deal with the fear that, if my pain ends.....there's will be terrible.

I'm trying to always remember to express my gratitude to them.....and to acknowledge that thy are in this, too.(sometime hard to remember when I know they can't really possibly understand how I feel.........that's where you guys come in to save the day...).

When all's said and some.....I know I'm extremely fortunate to have them......that so many are having to make this journey without that.

The guilt is still there when it comes to all they have lost with me.....I just try not to let that guilt turn into feeling sorry for mySELF for their loss.

I hope this is clearer than I've been with the Med change:-)

Hugs.....jc..

thanks Dix.
i find myself sayin that a lot lately.
i like it. thanks Dix......
this is very timely.
loveyabuddy.............t

i have long thought on this subject.
i picture my wife suffering physically the way i do.
it would likely destroy me.
she loves me madly........for her to watch this happen.unrelenting and FOREVER....is a tremendous strain. we have spoken on it ....it makes things easier for me to understand about her.
when she is at a friends.or in town.or whatever and seemingly ignoring me.......well.she's gotta do SOMETHIN.SOMETIMES.that removes from her immediate perceptions the awful physical suffering of her mate.
her other.
the one that makes her whole.
knowing it will never ever stop.
and knowing as well that she can not ease this suffering.
it is certainly a team effort.and with the boys too.
EVERYBODY is affected WHOLELY (can't spell that) in whatever part they are set in this dance...the whole thing is fucked up.
i must work continually to not make this fucker all about me.
i'm just the one who makes the funny noises and howls in the night.
i am not the only one in great suffering.
thanks again Dix....when the pain and other shit has been turned on "awful".for so long.............i need reminding of my teams terrible plight.
PEACE...........t

So we ALL hurt and feel the guilt for our loved ones, knowing that they worry about us and suffer right along with us, but how can WE help them?

Not talking about it isn't an option I don't think.

I just don't know what to do for my husband. Like your wife Eeyor he is crazy about me, bless him, don't know why , but he is. I'm so blessed.

I just wish there was something I could do or say or something!! Ya know!!!

I think this is a fantastic article. I live alone now and it is extremely challenging. I do still need help from my brother with rides and my daughters help grocery shopping though. I can feel like a burden just from those things. They both have reminded me plenty of times that I have taken care of them many times.

Years ago when I was married and my daughters were young it took the whole family to make it all work. I didn't let it affect me too much then as I had my ways of contributing then.

I too shared this with my facebook family and friends. It's not just a boost for us but for the family too.

Great thread Dixie! Hugs,

Toni

I have alot of guilt and my family really does not do more then they did, I hate to say it but they are a bit lazy and self centered, not that they do nothing but they dont do anything extra now. I dont want it to seem to bad, but for me I used to do so much more then I can do now.

I feel bad about that as I would love to make dinner 7 days a week but make your own is on the menu alot of the time. I try to but after a few hours I have to sit to relax my back and that is all she wrote as sometimes I Do not get up for awhile.

Have any feel they sometimes will over compensate sometimes like buy your kids more junk and let them slide when we know we should not let them but I know for me I feel guilty that I am not the person I once was.

On the flip side I think because of CP I am a better person in some areas, I am more compassionate and I talk to my kids more especially my youngest who when he was about 3 months old I Took on a 50 hour a week position at my job and I was never home.