Chronic Pain Support Group
Physicians and professionalsdefine pain as chronic if it lasts longer than three to six months and is persistent. It's distinct from acute pain that is a direct result of injury or trauma. This support group is dedicated to those suffering from chronic pain. Discuss treatments that have worked for you, find advice for your specific experience, and find support. You're not...
I have made up my mind today that I will not continue my long-term relationship. Last night as the pain was so horrifying, writhing on sofa, and my fiance just sitting there watching television I realized this inhumanity would no longer be acceptable.
So afraid of having chronic pain and living on my own- with no parents, no wealth, and a hope he might change has kept me in this dysfunctional relationship. To be with a man who can sit there as I suffer- so little it would take for him to bring a bit of ease to my life.
The same man who watched me work two jobs, go to school full time while paralyzed on one side of my body from my back injury. The same man who could not take one day off of work the day I came home from the hospital. After 6 hours of surgery, five days in the hospital, my first day home I was alone with no help. Yet he could find the time to go to Miami a few months later for pleasure.
He has always thought my pain some type of joke, that I might feel unease, but it is more histrionics than true, numbing, sometimes suicidal pain.
I would rather live on my own. I can't describe it, but it is more painful to be with someone and them ignore your suffering than to suffer alone. Who could sit there and watch someone suffer so and not offer some type of aide?
This relationship has brought such misery, has shaken my self-esteem so and made me questions myself all I can do is dream of solitude. I cannot hope that someone could accept me. I cannot see at this point that I could ever trust someone again.
I am scared. I am scared I will be unable to take care of my pets I adopted before my body turned on me. I am scared I will be homeless. I am so scared of all the potential hazards that may come my why, but I must try so something new.
This relationship is destroying me and I know if I stay in it it will shatter me before my pain does. I must change my life now, or there will be no life worth living.
Fear is swirling inside, but no more. Not one day more. This part of misery is something I can change and I must.
So afraid of having chronic pain and living on my own- with no parents, no wealth, and a hope he might change has kept me in this dysfunctional relationship. To be with a man who can sit there as I suffer- so little it would take for him to bring a bit of ease to my life.
The same man who watched me work two jobs, go to school full time while paralyzed on one side of my body from my back injury. The same man who could not take one day off of work the day I came home from the hospital. After 6 hours of surgery, five days in the hospital, my first day home I was alone with no help. Yet he could find the time to go to Miami a few months later for pleasure.
He has always thought my pain some type of joke, that I might feel unease, but it is more histrionics than true, numbing, sometimes suicidal pain.
I would rather live on my own. I can't describe it, but it is more painful to be with someone and them ignore your suffering than to suffer alone. Who could sit there and watch someone suffer so and not offer some type of aide?
This relationship has brought such misery, has shaken my self-esteem so and made me questions myself all I can do is dream of solitude. I cannot hope that someone could accept me. I cannot see at this point that I could ever trust someone again.
I am scared. I am scared I will be unable to take care of my pets I adopted before my body turned on me. I am scared I will be homeless. I am so scared of all the potential hazards that may come my why, but I must try so something new.
This relationship is destroying me and I know if I stay in it it will shatter me before my pain does. I must change my life now, or there will be no life worth living.
Fear is swirling inside, but no more. Not one day more. This part of misery is something I can change and I must.
I hope you find strength to do whatever is best for you....
Hug....jc..
If you need a should or a sounding board I am usually here...Best of luck & remember even if it seems as if you are alone you are not as DS & it's many wonderful, understanding people are here for you.
I believe that women dont need a man who does not make her better.
I am sorry to others like me with partners who resent us for the burden we bring. The pain is enough, but to see disbelief and resentment in others only makes it worse. I would rather be alone.
I have to trust in myself and God that I will be okay. That my fears are not predictions of what will come. I deserve more. If I don't deserve more from others than I deserve to give it to myself.
healing hugs
i'm glad you've gotten to the point that you're willing to let go of the bad b/c it's safe and step out into the unknown.
there's support out there. i know it's hard to deal with on top of pain, but it can be done.
i applaud your bravery and desire to make your life better. if i can be of any help, please let me know.
hugs and hope! serenity
But then, my husband thankfully came to his senses and realized it wasn't worth throwing 15 years of marriage down the drain.. That I WAS worth the effort. I told him that I could get that sick again and was he going to leave me again? He assured me that no, he was here to stay. I knew I had a good man and that's why I let him back in my life. But your guy, well, he doesn't seem to have any ability to change. Maybe I'm wrong. You'll see when you kick him out. I hope so. But remember, you CAN live on your own and have a happy life and maybe meet the real soul-mate you were meant to have.
God bless
Sandy
You are in a difficult situation, but you sound strong and resolved. I was once in your shoes. I had been married for 25 years and then my husband finally could not deal with my health issues any longer. He went through a mid life crisis and our marriage ended.
Suddenly I was single, no home, and I had a dog to take care of. I sold all of our household furnishings. And with the proceeds I bought an RV which I then lived in for several years. I lived in a lovely RV park that was all wooded and close to a little lake. Each evening after working at the Library, where I had found a job, I would take my kayak out on the lake for a paddle. Obviously, I was doing better then, but my point is that my life did turn around for the better. I loved my job at the library. Living at the RV park was terrific and that little lake was sacrid to me. Your life can improve from here. I know because I have lived it. Hang in there! Hugs, Cathy
It is a painful awakening when you realize that your partner does not truly care about you, but it is a positive step forward for you to be able to face it and want to do something about it. Make a plan that includes where you will live, where your income will come from, etc. On you on disability? If not can you begin the process before you end this relationship? As hard as it mat be for you right now thinking things through will help you set yourself up for successful independence. One does not need wealth to be happy and one can be happy in one little room if that means peace of mind.
Take care and good luck,
Sisyphis