Hi sweetheart!!

Listen, I am here and you have something to live for!! I will be here to support and be your shoulder. I am giving you a gigantic hug right now and I am here to tell you that life is worth living even through the most hopeless of circumstances....believe me. I have an uplifting message for you and my heart has become heavy reading about your suffering. You are never alone hun....you have me. Here is the uplifting message that I read today and it helped me so I am sharing it with you.

JESUS--OUR BURDEN BEARER (yes, you and me)

When it comes to healing our spiritual condition, we don't have a chance. We might as well be told to pole-vault to the moon. We don't have what it takes to be healed. Our only hope is that God will do for us what he did for the man at Bethseda--that he wil step out of the temple and step into our ward of hurt and helplessness.
Which is exactly what he has done......
I wish we would just take Jesus at his word....
When he says we're forgiven, let's unload the guilt.
When he says we're valuable, let's believe him.
When he says we're eternal, let's bury our fear.
When he says we're provided for, let's stop worrying.
God's efforts are strongest when our efforts are useless.

Give your worries to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will never let good people down. Psalm 55:22

But (the Lord) said to me,"My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you,".............For this reason I am happy when I have weaknesses, insults, hard times, sufferings, and all kinds of troubles for Christ. Because when I am weak, then I am truly strong. 1 Corinthians 12:9-10

Please Markleboff know that I post this out of love. I don't know what your belief is but this brought me comfort so I hope it can comfort you.

Family and people who I thought loved me turned their backs as soon as they found out my diagnosis. This hurts and believe me I am not in your shoes going through your pain so I don't know what you are facing only that I care and I am here if you want to vent, cry, laugh, or need a shoulder. You are NOT alone...you have me:). Hugs and lots of positive thoughts coming your way sweetheart!!!

Mark,
sadly family and friends can't be there for so many reason the way we need or want them to be. I'm so very sorry for that. it's hard when your doing your best to treat your pain and get better but things sadly aren't working out.
do you have any local support in your area? or groups that might meet in your area so you can get some support local, we're always here but we're not all around at the right times.
please don't give up I know how hard it is to get pushed to that point but remember you shouldn't have to prove to anyone that your not in this for the drugs there are those who will understand.
hang in there my friend
tori

Mark,
It seems as though so many of our families have left us because of our suffering. My own brother (my only living relative) disowned me 10 years ago, saying I was just a drug addict, I didn't have lupus and I took too many meds. Even when I was in a coma from lupus, he just cam to see me, said nothing and left. I honestly think he figured I was going to die and he was just doing his duty. And I have no other family but I do have my husband and son and I am so grateful for them.

My point is: you can't pick your family but you have a family here who will listen, console, commiserate, and offer compassionate advice. If you can still get out and about, see if they're are support groups in your area. Chronic pain support groups are rare because frankly, not a lot of people can get out to the meetings.

Bill suggested a site called meetup. com. It's not a dating site- it just gets people with like interests together I actually started a group for people like me who feel so isolated and 12 people joined I had to cancel the outing I arranged because I had a massive lupus flare that week but 2 people did go so that means 2 people who had no one now have someone to talk to. I hope the group is a success even without me. Hopefully I'll get better enough to go myself.

I hope you know you're always welcome to come here and let your feelings be known. That's what we're here for and we'll give you the love your family can't or won't.

Sandy

Hi Mark. Just now meeting you and I'm sorry it's not under better circumstances. But I just couldn't pass by without letting you know that you matter so much to this world. If you weren't here the world would be a much darker place. Your perseverance is an inspiration!

Wish there was a house we could all move in together and hobble about with each other. Each of us could take a turn washing one cup or one plate. We could all take turns stirring the pot of soup, etc. haha.

In all seriousness, try at least one more time to get them to see your doctor or video record your doctor talking about your condition. It wasn't until my doctor told my mother that I was the worst case she'd ever seen that she finally got it! I hope a doctor can help you set things straight with your family. If your family is religious, perhaps you could try communicating through their religious leader? That person could be a mediator.

It's really sad that we go through so much physical pain only to have to deal with the emotional pain of "proving" our suffering.... but humans are strange creatures. If they aren't dealing with it personally, they often don't acknowledge it to exist.

Just remember what my mother told me during a family reunion: "You don't owe anyone an explanation for your life."
Shalom Mark, may you have a peaceful spirit and a hopeful heart.

Markleboff,

I too have lost My immediate family, sisters and brothers. I depend on My friends and My cousins and all the people here for Support.

I'm sorry you're going thrrough this. They're the ones who are suppose to get you this and yet they're the ones who you can't depend on. It's aweful that they're the ones that have turned their back on us.

That's why is so important to come and be with your family here. Is there anyway to get your doctor to either call one of your family or hAve one of them go see him or her so they can find out once and for all that this is no joke for us and we don't have meds going through our spine for the hell of It or because we're junkies. It's the only way, a lot of us move.

Please know we're here to support you and care very much about you.

Hugs,

((((((((((())))))))))))))

Mary Ellen

Hi Mark, I don't know you but i can tell you that my pharmacist told me years ago that I would not. get addicted to med's because I needed them . I have Rsd and fibro and cancer now.pain.and I have not.
When I started I was on heavy narcotics for RSD , my RSD went into remission, I went off all meds. I doing amazing.. Then I got injured. I got RSD again and Fibro and cancer and I have hell on wheels. I am in pain constantly. nothing works now.. I cant sleep, , I don't eat right, i I have tried everything. . I am not addicted. so don't listen to your family. listen to your pharmacist. okay.. if need be I willgive you my pain pharmacy info. I hope this helps you isabee

thanks to all of you for your replies, this place has been here for me for over 3 years during my struggle, i don't know what i would have done without it. unfortunately the closest support group is 50 miles away and i cant drive that far, so i sit alone , i haven't been outside for a week im running out of strength to fight on. my father comitted suicide because of this disease, and now i understand why, and he had a loving family helping him

Isabee, great information, I sooook agree.

Mark, if I listened to My family,.I was a.fat fuck, white trash, dru, low life, Bitch who'd never be anything.

I ended a woman wewhose had 27 years clean & sober, been a paralegal for a criminal attt, a real estate paralegal, worked with lawmakers on Beacon Hill, and ran My own business for over 30 years. Let see, that left fat Fuck...oh yeah lost over 150lbs. with weight watchers over 11 years ago and kept It off. So all they got left with is maybe a bitch and I could care less.

I cried reading you last post this morning. Just because your farther committed suicide, doesn't mean you have to. You can break that Cycle....if you want to.

Love & hugs coming your way

Mary Ellen

Mark, it is sad when family sees just from their experience, which is limited. My family is slowly coming around as time and family projects bring about visits with a common goal together.

It's often reaching out in different ways to help our inner strength renew its light of hope, and looking at the goals to make it to the point where we can drive ourselves (it took me three years to be able to drive any distance), and each goal is a celebration.

You are not alone. Suicide is a method of death. One of the doctors sat down with me and said let the trauma of suicide out, write it in a journal, and then destroy the writing. That one moment when I realized that the pain of the loss would always be there, yet the stigma of suicide was no longer part of the loss, it helped.

Know you have a strong, active, positive, and understanding support system to help you through this challenge.

Hi Mark!! I don't knnow if we have talked before but I wanted to put in my two cents. My family(husband especially) never understood the pain I was in and my needs for meds. I finally toook him to the surgeon's office with me and let him talk and ask questions. After that he was more accepting of my condition; scared actualy. Is there a family member that would be willing to go with you? ask for copies of your MRI/CAT/Xray reports so you can show them. Ask for copies of your medical records.

Don't let them define your life. You have value here and in life. We are all her to support you even after you get your family back. I lost a brother to suicide and the devastation that causes never goes away so take that option off the table. Nothing good will come of it. Having lost your father that way you know.

Pain is exhausting I know. Dealing with family on any level is just as exhausting. I'm sorry. I will keep you in my thoughts and check in with us as things unfold. Please PM me if you need/want to talk.

laura

I wish I could figure out how to convince everyone the truth, but I have asked, challenged ,begged my wife and daughter t go to any doctor or treatment facility , shrink they can pick anyone, so its pretty obvious they just don't care. I understand my wife she finally chased me out of the house now she has it with the girls and its girl heaven, they get to watch project runway, and all the I used to fight not to have to watch. So that's where I stand I wishing had the money for a lawyer