Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Support Group

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) describes a sense of exhaustion and post-exertion malaise, even when you have gotten enough rest and sleep. The disease is characterized by six months of incapacitating fatigue experienced as profound exhaustion and extremely poor stamina, and problems with concentration and short-term memory. The cause is unknown, but it is a...

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canigetwell 12/07/2015

So today, I return to work after a week of annual leave.

I walk in, well actually I limp in, practically dragging my leg along behind me.

There is barely a grunt of acknowledgement and with seconds I am sprung upon with a barrage of you did this wrong you did that wrong you must do this you must do that...............

I just discovered my ex husband on a dating website last night ( whats wrong with that you may think after all he is my ex - but it means that the person he threw his family away for clearly wasn't the love of his life !)

So with all of that and two hours sleep - the pain was just so unbearable
Yes, you guessed it - I burst into floods of tears and said - stop back off i cannot cope - there will be repercussions Im sure .

Visit the GP this evening and thankfully he loads me with medication, a flu jab, a B12 jab painkillers, anti depressants you name it.

I thinks I now have Osteo Arthritis in my hip as well as my knee and is sending me to get X rayed.

He is referring me for weight loos surgery too as I cannot control the weight gain and its a vicious circle.

I sat feeling so lonely and sad and hating myself for not being able to stop all this.

Sorry I'm waffling again - i do apologise for these mad ramblings.

canigetwell 12/07/2015

Please excuse the multitude of typos - i must wear my specs more often

triunfadora 12/07/2015

No problem with the typos. You are lamenting. There is no censoring. I totally understand why you are angry that your ex left the family and he is no longer with the person he left for. He is obviously messed up. I can also understand that coming into work and hearing complaints was more than you could take. It's just one thing after another and you finally hit the breaking point. I think it would be good to sit down with someone safe and have a good cry. Then breathe and get back up again. You are stronger than you know. Much love.

eweneek 12/08/2015

I can't type much because I am at the end of my energy, but I just want you to know I understand. You are being expected to overcome just too much. This is the site to come to with your sorrows. Please know we care. xoxo

canigetwell 12/08/2015

I truly wish I had someone I could cry with. I have no one at all , everyone is too ready to prejudge, tell me their opinions (most of which are based upon no understanding of ME/CFS at all !) and general attitude of get a grip and deal with it.

Im sinking, I know I am, I'm thinking bad thoughts and questioning the value I bring to the world.

I don't know where to turn - i have no one - people say here for you but they aren't, they switch off, they have enough in their own lives, they are bored with me and my misery - understandably

cmiat 12/08/2015

What you are describing sounds all too familiar to me. Those thoughts are insidious and they wear you down. I went from useful and contributing to feeling useless and being dependent.

The hardest part for me is having to do it alone. My mother and siblings all live far away and they have more than enough problems in their own lives to deal with. My kids are still trying to learn to deal with the things which happened when they were little and find their way in life.

All I can say to you is that you can get through it. Your value to the world is just being in it. Your true value is simply being yourself. Things are bad now, but (as the doctor said to the mother who was worried when her child swallowed a small coin) this too shall pass.

I wish I could be there to cry with you. Just remember that we know what you are going through well enough not to judge you. In fact, we feel for you and you have our love and all the support we can give.

triunfadora 12/08/2015

I know what you mean about not having anyone. There is a saying in psychology circles that says, "Ask for what you need." The trouble is that if you ask for what you need and no one responds, you still don't get what you need. We are here for you, but it would be great if you had someone "with skin on them" as I say. Someone close by to hold you when you cry. CFS is a lonely road, for sure. It makes you press deeper into God because often, you literally have no one else. I am certain that the One who created you, hears your cries and cares deeply about your pain. This is a bitter cup, but He knows something about bitter cups as well. I pray you will find some support soon. Many blessings.

canigetwell 12/08/2015

Thank you again - dear 'skinless' friends - that made me smile.

I have been finding myself more and more pulled towards God. I am not a regular church goer but I do have a moral code and spiritual beliefs and a respect for the church and religion.

I lit a candle for myself in a church that i have never been in before this week and as I passed my local church in the darkness on the way home from the doctors, I though i wish god would show me the light. Then the light shone - it was the movement activated security light - i laughed and said 'fair play god'

I feel guilty though, as though I am only turning for help now I need it.

Oh here I am rambling again - sincere apologies x

2DanceAgain 12/13/2015

Never feel guilty for asking for help from God. That's what he is there for. It may have been a motion sensor activated light or a sign that He is listening. It is all in the attitude. Think positive. Look for the good. Keep coming back to your "skinless" friends here at DS until you find a warm body in your neck of the woods willing to listen. Reach out and someone will be there.

spacepony 12/13/2015

I love your sense of humor. I'm Buddhist, (I felt like disclosing that before I say) I encourage you to turn toward your faith. God isn't overwhelmed or holds a grudge. Hugs x

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