Interesting way to look at things... being mindful is a terrific goal even when one isn't doing it essentially not by choice. So is being peaceful and taking time to smell the flowers (or look at the woods, birds and critters in my case). This illness certainly has more it takes away than it gives but taking that moment to remember that being mindful is a gift... well done. Most times I feel I am trapped in my house, and in my body but once in a while I think.... well, it's a nice day today and I can sit by the window and look outside and throw the squirrels some food to watch them have their fill and their little tiffs over who gets what pile... if I were still working in an office I would certainly have more money, but I would not have that day. I'd be staring at a pc, or filing papers in a cubicle with a florescent light blinding me. When you think about quality of life I think you have to look at the little moments as well as the overall. We may not have the over all picture in our favor but we get the little moments and I think as a whole we appreciate them more fully.
hugs

:( sorry to hear this! Hopefully better times are ahead. I'm hoping they can fix the site up. Maybe you can ask for the old site back? or to change it more similar to the old one.

Thank you, Nina and David. Nina, you are so right. No one wants to be home sick, but it does give you time to notice things you would never have had time for otherwise. David, I agree that I would like the old site back. It was much better. Thanks for being present with me, dear friends.

Sorry, but I fail to see any gift in sickness and disability. Call that "common sense". It hurts me to see someone say things to you like "what is the gift in your disability?" You don't deserve that...makes it seem like being miserable is someplace you belong. I miss the company and feeling of community we had...everything feels like some teen trendy site now...it's all about "what's the buzz?" and who's posting Right Now.

Yeah, I miss the community we had too. It's just crazy. This is not our community that we nurtured so lovingly.
I can understand why her question might seem offensive. I've known her for a long time and I know her heart. So, it didn't offend me, partly because that is always her question in every situation. She didn't mean it just for this situation, but in all things, where is the good? I wasn't offended or hurt by it just because I know it's the typical question that is asked in Spiritual Direction. We always do a rose and thorn kind of thing in which we say what was the best thing that happened today and the worst. But, I can see how the question could come off as offensive. I'm sorry if it offended you at all, Richie. And thank you for having my back. It's nice to know that you would take up for me. Many blessings.

I think the site is starting to display posts with the most recent first, if not the most recently commented on, so perhaps things will start to flow a bit more now. I am in two minds about the spiritual director's question. I'm all for trying to find positives to focus on, but the suggestion that every situation contains a 'gift' seems senseless to me.

Richie - maybe if you look at it as, is there a possible silver lining since the cloud has to be there? I'm not saying having CFS is a gift.. just trying to work within the necessary acceptance to find what joys can be found. To not do so is to live within the darkness that can so easily overcome us. I can't change my illness(es). I can change my life experience by choosing to find some way to live my life with a sense of wonder and gratitude. I've a dear friend who is visiting tomorrow. Her daughter was hit by an elderly driver while waiting for the bus when she was 8. She was thrown 100 ft, right out of her sneakers. After 11 months in a Boston rehab hospital she essentially functions as someone with cerebral palsy would. Her mind is clear, sharp and witty. Her body is curled up and she cannot speak so she and her mother have a modified sign language. She is 28 this year and if you ask her if she would rather she had died (she's open like that), she will laugh and say/sign something to the effect of.... "What, and miss out on life with all it's wonders?, No. I chose life" If she can choose life with her body being such a burden, being lifted by her mother, fed through a tube, grand mal seizures on a regular basis...etc... what is my burden compared to hers? I choose life and within that I search for whatever peace or joy I can find each day...oh, I'll kvetch.. but in general there comes a point where we hit bottom and we decide to find the silver lining.. or live in the cloud.

Wow, Nina. I had no idea about your daughter. She sounds like a very inspirational woman. You summed up what the "gift" is about. It's not that we would have chosen that path or that it is good in and of itself. It's not good that your daughter was hit by a car. It's not good at all. It's terrible. But, she has found some redemption amid that terrible dark experience. Thank you for sharing her story. It reminds us that there is always hope and light, even in the darkest of places.

Not my daughter.. a dear friend's daughter. .... I'll tell her you think she is inspirational.

Sorry. I need to read more carefully. But yes, I appreciate you putting words to the whole idea I was trying to express that even during horrible moments, we can find some redeeming moments.

Not a problem at all. I get it. I just didnt want the credit for something I could never handle. Tracy and her daughter Echo are a rare duo...

Hey Heather

Never fear a few still remain on DS. CFS is a tough teacher. Like yourself I have concluded that cfs is the universe's way of slowing me down so I can pay attention to what is important.

It is good to reach for the tiniest smidgen of good that we can find in our experience. It does lessen the misery.

Blessings my friend, I am praying that these issues go away altogether for you. Sending some soothing energy your ways to calm those neurons and bring you some peace.

ME/CFS breaks you over and over again. Spiritually or mentally, however you feel about it. I feel much stronger as a person. Although others around me may not see me that way. I miss so much too. My girlfriend of 3 years left me the day of the last protest due to my health problems. It's been hard, but it's given me an understanding and opportunity to help people on a scale I probably would have never gone looking for in life. Doesn't mean I don't want to light myself on fire sometimes. Literally!

So true, David. It bring spiritual maturity in a way we would have never chosen. You are a dear.

I wasn't offended, just pained that someone would say something like that to someone who's so kind. I'm sensitive to that kind of remark, people have said that I deserve being sick because I "must have done something bad."

There are very cold people where I live. I've heard them say that sick and disabled people should not be helped because they are being punished for misdeeds...so we should not interfere with divine judgement. So I guess the statement about finding the gift in misfortune dredged up some foul memories.

The only good thing I've ever found in my illness is the way it helped me to understand how cruel people can be. It's only when you're down on your luck that you find the truth behind all the fine words you hear being thrown around so freely.