I don't know how old you are or your girlfriend but it sure sounds like she doesn't get CFS. Of course nothing she says is going to help you, rest and pacing is what will help you. I think just trying to explain things to her takes a lot of your recovery energy, you might want to get a print out about CFS so you don't have to talk so much.

I am married and my husband understands but I don't get caresses or massages when I'm relapsed, perhaps that is asking too much. He does tolerate it though and doesn't berate me for having it. We have good times when I feel better but I sure have to pace.

She told me she is leaving me. She is leaving my house tomorrow. Forever

Yeah, no caresses or massages here either, but I do get some measure of empathy from my husband. I really think your girlfriend is being very insensitive. Perhaps she has lived a charmed life, or perhaps she doesn't allow herself to grieve her own losses and therefore won't let you grieve yours either. What she is saying is not terribly helpful. She obviously doesn't really know how to deal with chronically ill people. AGH, I'm really sorry. It is sad to feel misunderstood and rejected. I'm so sorry you are going through this. There are empathic people out there. It just takes time to find them. Many blessings on you.

Some kindness is not too much to ask. I'm afraid some people are capable of it and some aren't when it comes to responding to CFS. My husband cares for me full time at the moment. If I asked for caresses etc I know he would give them. I am very lucky. But I also have a lot of people in my life who can't deal with my situation and have had people be extremely dismissive and upsetting.

A relationship that is upsetting you is a lot to cope with on top of your illness.

" She told me she is leaving me. She is leaving my house tomorrow. Forever "

I'm sorry you have so much stress like this during a relapse. It will hinder your recovery.

I believe there is a depression component of relapse that can't be touched by antidepressants, at least I feel that way when relapsed. So asking you to not be negative is practically impossible.

We'll now see what she really does and how your health is once she is gone, if she does go.

Yes I feel it is impossible to feel positive during a crash. All I did yesterday was to tell her if she could understand my frustration of feeling as bad as I felt 5 months ago when I first crashed. I have gone through 5 long months of misery and I feel now it is going to take a long time for me to recover. She says that I am being negative and that she cant live with a negative person. She doent like me to look up information on cfs on the web because she says I am neurotic and obsessed. I told her I was looking for help and have found a lot of help on the web. No doctor has helped me. I told her I was not a negative person. I was bedridden for two years unable to walk and I slowly recovered and walked again with patience and perseverance. I dont know if she will leave me for good yet but she is making me go through a lot of misery while i feel very sick. I think she is being unreasonable. I cannot be more positive. Relapses take a lot of time. When my 5 month relapse started i used to think it would be over in a week. Now I cannot think that anymore. This takes a lot of time. She calls that being negative. I cant cry in her presence. I cant tell her how scared I am of going through another month or two or pure misery. I dont know if this is my fault that she wants to leave me. Maybe I am too negative. I dont know. Some of you think she is the unreasonable one. I dont know what else to do. I feel very tired. I told her we have had a beautiful relationship for a year and this is not a reason for leaving me. If she doesnt leave me she still making me go through hell right now.

I lost a girlfriend this way. She said I lacked ambition and all I really wanted to do was rest on weekends.

I even had one that bit me on the arm because I wouldn't take her to the beach on Saturday after working out in the sun all week.

I know how difficult this must be for you, because I went through it many times. Try to be objective about it, sounds to me like your girlfriend isn't much of a friend really. Anyone who would be that childish and selfish in dealing with someone they allegedly care about is not a decent person.

I once said to myself that this illness is a good way to screen potential friends and lovers to see how genuine they really are. Unfortunately it screened everyone out...they all abandoned me eventually and now I'm entirely alone. So I'm more than a little bitter about human nature in general now.

I feel terrible. All the stress she has caused me has madre me feel a lot worse. Now she decides to stay until tomorrow. I wish she would leabe me alone so i can feel free to cry if i want to.

I feel terrible. This is going to be a Long relapse. Am i being negative?

She now says she is giving me two months. If I become negative again then she is leaving me. She is acting happy as if nothing has happened. She was very angry only an hour ago. Sometimes I wonder if she is bipolar.

Wow, Richie is right about CFS screening out friends and lovers. And he is sadly right about the fact that it often can leave us pretty lonely. I am fortunate to have my husband, but I know many others who are not so fortunate. I am so sorry you are suffering in this way. It seems that you are waiting to see what she decides to do. Perhaps it would be empowering for you to be able to say to her that you don't need her insensitivity. Maybe that's a stretch, but I just hate to see you in this position of waiting on her to act.

She broke up with me again. She did not sleep last night and woke up in a bad mood and this morning she told me I didnt make her happy any more. The reason? She feels I am being unfaithful or at least interested in another woman. This is a woman who called me on new years day to wish me a happy new year. I talk to her about every 6 months. She is just a friend. But my girlfriend says her intuition tellls her that she is more than a friend. I told her I had done nothing wrong. A friend callling me means nothing. But she has had two relationships with men who cheated on her. I told her she was distrustful. ANd that what her problem not mine. I told her that a friend calling me once is not a reason to leave me. She thinks I have something going on with her and she says that is something she cannot tolerate. So she left.

Am I right in thinking she is completely wrong on this one?

That's pretty odd. I hope this works out for you okay. Maybe you two could plan something nice for Valentine's Day.

Wishing you the best ((hugs))

Your girlfriend sounds like the negative one....she's not happy, she's jealous. How could you carry on a second relationship when you can barely get out of bed? Kind of a no brainer.

I think you will be better off without her and hate to see you putting up with her crap for two more months, I think it will make you sicker.

There are people who are attracted to CFS persons probably because they can be assured we won't have the energy to cheat on them. My girlfriend with CFS is swamped with men and I met and married my husband when I was sick with this. It is possible, especially when you've had the time to recover and have some good days.

She sounds like she doesn't know this is an illness. I think you should just be yourself, if you want to cry then do it and disregard what she wants. Your priority should be getting better primarily by resting. All that energy she's taking from you could be going to better places.