This is a question many of us face, and have faced. There are so many things to consider, so many factors in each individual's situation, that it's a decision only they can make.

I worked for many years while battling illness. I had no life outside of work, I was just too exhausted to do anything but rest. But I had to earn a living, so I did it. In hindsight I don't see what else I could have done.

People treated me like I was a timid soul too afraid of social interaction to live my life. Telling them I was sick just sounded like an excuse I suppose. Since then I've learned to disregard the opinions of others and guard my privacy carefully.

I am struggling w/ this EXACT problem this weekend. I work 4 days a week in the mornings. I teach only a few hours a morning... but the weekends I am totally wiped out beyond belief.

I am in a terrible crash this weekend.... and getting worse as the weeks go by.
I just tried to call my boss... I can't do this. It's not worth it. I don't get insurance or much of anything thru this job... why am I making it such a big deal. I'm totally embarrassed. But I can't go back to being house bound like I was in the beginning. I've worked myself up to being able to cook / clean lightly and go shopping. But I still cannot travel and now that I'm trying to work, it's not working. I crash too badly. I also have rheumatoid arthritis. Just isn't working. I signed a contract for 8 wks just last wk... but i'm already regretting it.
U will be in my prayers.
Keep me in yours. I can't do it and crater each weekend.
xo Sun

I've been crying all morning as well.... it's heartbreaking to have the limits that we do w/ CFS. But it is what it is.

I just called my boss and told her what has been going on. I basically quit and told her to hire someone else for my position.
I cried the whole time I talked to her.
THIS IS NOT WHO I AM OR WHO I WANT TO BE>
I love my job....
I am so sad. I can't stop crying.
Maybe things will be better tomorrow.
xo Sun

Yeah, well, it is a very difficult to stop working. We are living in very difficult circumstances because I have not worked very much at all for years. I do some translation from home, but I make very little money. I am currently applying for disability. I didn't realize how sad I would feel at the realization that I can no longer work. I failed my functional capacity evaluation, which is empirical evidence that I am not well. I wanted someone to believe me, but now that they do, I feel like I've had to face the reality of my circumstances. All I can say is, you have to listen to your body. If you must stop working, you will need to grieve that part of your life. You may feel better, though, having some time to rest. Much love.

In a way, you have touched on what I am going to say. We identify ourselves partly by what we do. In having to stop working, we feel like we are giving up a part of our very selves - and often the one which, deep down, we feel makes us valuable. Society certainly seems to view it that way.

I still often struggle with accepting that I have value as a person quite independent of what I can and cannot do. I know it in an intellectual sense, but owning it on an everyday basis is hard.

I especially struggle with what I will describe as intellectual incapacity. I am an intelligent, educated woman but these days my brain doesn't work the way it used to. I often forget things, struggle to take in what someone is saying to me and get confused easily. As with the physical symptoms of CFS, I feel that this would be easier to accept if I was nearly 80, not nearly 50.

It's a difficult decision you face, one which was, in effect, made for me by default. I'm sure you are talking it over with your husband. As guilty as it might make you feel, sometimes you have to accept that someone is willing to do something for you (like him taking on the full financial burden) graciously and thankfully. Letting go of that guilt is difficult, but essential. Remember, you are being forced to make this choice by something which is outside of your control.

I struggle with guilt everyday from this as well. I am only 30 years old and have suffered from CFS or what I feel is CFS off and on since I was a young child. I have been given all sorts of blood work and no one can find anything as to why I am so exhausted all the time. Anyway, I'm getting off subject.
I suffer from other things as well that definitely qualify me for disability, but I just can't do it. Ive had so many jobs it's hard for me to even get one when I am able to work, but I still don't want my husband to be the only one working even though he has been for the last 2 years.
I don't really have any advice. In fact I could probably use some myself. I really just hope you find peace in what ever you decide to do.

I doubt if I could work anymore, I'm just too disabled now. If your body doesn't work right, and your mind is all blurred with cognitive dysfunction, what kind of job could you do?

I live on social security old age benefit and some dividend income now, and try to grow as much of my own food as I can. I'm still working in that sense, but at least I can rest frequently and only work half the day. And the stress is lower...I think.

We all have to find out what works for us. Maybe someday the world will understand the challenges we face and we'll be better supported. Until that day I work for my food...as best I can.

I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. I don't have a lot of experience in this arena so I can't offer much advice - only support. If it would be best for you to stop working, maybe there are other things you could do to feel productive. Maybe volunteer once a week so you're still getting out there, but not spending all of your energy.

I wish you all the best as you try and make this difficult decision.

i am 48 and making your same decision. i am taking my sick time and easing out. day by day they say....

For me, the decision was very hard & I hung on as long as I could but then I had to look at my work performance. I came to the realization that I wasn't doing the job that I used to & my hours were like half of what they should be. I was so sick & fatigued I couldn't last a full day anymore & I spent all of my time off sleeping but would wake to go to work still so tired & cognitively gone. When I told my boss that I was giving my notice, she thanked me & I knew then that I was doing the right thing. I got SSD & that could help you take the burden off your husband. The stress level is better since I quit my job & I can manage my illness so much better without a job to go to.

I hope you can figure this out for yourself. It is definitely a hard thing to do to give up a job you love, I loved my job & planned to work there until retirement but it didn't work out that way. I grieved for awhile, just like I grieved my gardens & other things. You will make it through this. Take care of you for awhile. Hugs, Denise

Thanks everyone,
So I haven't made any decision concerning my work yet. i have decided to see a phycholigist (through my employee support program )to talk it out and grt another perspective.
What an experience that was . When I mentionned that I had been diagnosed with CFS, the therapist smiled ! I did not understand her reaction at first but when I asked her she simply said that CFS was a "popular" diagnosis these days and all I needed to di was to change my way of thinking , get a handle on my anxiety and all would be fine. Can you believe this????
I had planned on talking, among other things, about my frustration with getting disability insurance coverage but well...I quickly gave that up. I told her that we were not on the same page at all and I left shorlty after feeling very angry.

Oh, my gosh. I can feel that in my gut. I'm so sorry she acted that way. I have been in that position before when I had intended to talk about something and then realized that the course of the conversation had changed and it would be unwise to be real. I talked to a guy the other day and mentioned that I have a chronic illness. He said, "Everyone has a chronic illness. It's called LIFE!" So, the conversation ended there. So sorry to hear your experience.

Hi my opinion will probably go against the tide but I have to add it. I have not worked for most of the last year and its been my toughest year yet.

I pushed really hard to hang on to my ability to work and even though I saw significant degradation in my capacity I kept trying. Now I've been home for a year I am certainly well rested but no more functional than I was before. Still constantly exhausted, still spend most of my time in bed, still get tired after the slightest exertion.

So to me, stopping work has not helped physically and mentally it has been a horrible blow. My self-esteem has tanked and since I am sole provider in my household the contingent financial challenges have been overwhelming.

If I could go back to work I would.

OK~! Well, I'm going to come at this pretty strongly from yet another angle.

I went from full time to part time, to 3 days a week to weekends to DONE! I tried for two years to play with this illness, and I lost most of the time. I'd wake up and be too tired to go to work. THAT was what was killing me. I was beginning to look irresponsible.

I worked in the medical field all my life. I helped save lives. Now my brain was failing me at important times and I was not able to physically respond as quickly as I used to. SO, for my sake, and the sake of others depending on me, I quit.

Smartest thing I ever did. I got on to SSD in ten months, first try. CFS is a known disabling disease, it has it's own code for disability, and no one questioned me on it. I had all the proper testing done to prove that I did not have cancer, HIV, Hepatitis A, B, or C, Lymes, heavy metal poisoning...you name it! They were all normal test results.

I have CFS/ME.

After leaving the work force, I was feeling sad, as you would....at the loss of the everyday social connection and at the loss of being able to perform at a high level. I simply couldn't do it anymore. I had to stop. After quitting, I found that I could stop setting the alarm clock! WONDERFUL! I started getting refreshing sleep. Lots of it. My anxiety lessened. I had less responsibility. It was a great thing. I had more time to do relaxing things and get into physical therapy, which my insurance covered. PT helped me so very much.

Had i known that pushing myself to work the way I was, was simply making me weaker, sicker, and feeling less competent, I would have left sooner. SSD meets my needs. It's nothing to be ashamed of!!! I worked for over 30 years at my job. Now I'm getting back what I put into the system.

Binder and Binder. Call them. They got me on SSD in less than a year. It was not a difficult process. While I was waiting, I was sleeping. Man did I need to do that. My life is better now. I know my limitations and I'm learning to pace. I don't feel guilty any longer about not working. My body says no. That's it. This is a tough disease. You can try to fight it, but you're only extending the length of time you'll be crashing by pushing so hard.

Lots of advise here friend! All good advice from many different perspectives. My only advice (besides called B and B) would be to think about recovery, and a less stressful life. Working is not what defines you. There are other things that you can do that will fulfill you. I'm glad you posted about this and pray you are able to make a decision. I would be happy to help you with any info. you need for Binder and Binder. I still have all my stuff. And NO, I do not work for them. LOL!

Blessings! xo