Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Support Group

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) describes a sense of exhaustion and post-exertion malaise, even when you have gotten enough rest and sleep. The disease is characterized by six months of incapacitating fatigue experienced as profound exhaustion and extremely poor stamina, and problems with concentration and short-term memory. The cause is unknown, but it is a...

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The long holiday events

kaliska
kaliska
Does anyone just run out of energy part way through including events you do want to go to? It just seems to stretch on forever and my brain gives up after the first couple hours. Then it just drags and drags and I start thinking about my nice quiet room with the things I like to do and not having to try to pay attention to people. My family I can add to conversations here and there but It's so much worse with my husband's family because I have nothing in common with them. It's like 5hrs without talking to anyone. I've tried to bring books and phone games along, even my laptop once, but it's just sensory overload with nothing good coming out of it. I end up staring at a random spot on the floor. I want to get my coat and curl up in some corner of the room until someone slides me dessert and then we leave.

Any suggestions to not crash and zone out at holiday events? This may involve lots and lots of caffeine. Although the one birthday event I drank enough mountain dew I felt shaky and was constantly surprised I didn't drop the can. It didn't help too much.
triunfadora
triunfadora
Yeah, long events are really hard for me. I get overwhelmed by the 3 or 4 conversations going on at once. Sometimes I go to the bathroom and sit for a few minutes with my eyes closed. I know you can't stay in the bathroom all night, but at least you could get a moment. Good luck.
Nina1959
Nina1959
Ditto on the bathroom. I will head in and just sit with my eyes closed as well. I do have some luck with reminding folks to go slow with opening gifts or I won't be able to take it all in.
Can you go sit in the car for a while?
kaliska
kaliska
I would think it would look very bad to go sit in the car but I have done it once.

Turns out things are starting early. Losing 2 hrs of sleep today to go eat lunch with my dad's side of the family. I know if I complain I lost sleep they will just be patronizing that I slept until 9. People don't realize that with my sleep disorder 9 to me is 6am to most.
kaliska
kaliska
Got home at 9pm and laid under electric blanket until 1am before I felt like taking care of everything so I could go to sleep. Slept till 2pm. Mostly recovered from the past 2 very long days. Today is watch tv and eat christmas cookies day lol Dunno if there's any plans with my sister for new years and otherwise holiday events are over for me.
blancorivergirl
blancorivergirl
I have set pretty strict boundaries concerning what I will and will not do. Most people know that I only can last for an hour or two. I'm lucky that most of my family and friends understand. If they don't understand then too bad for them. I'm not going to let them make me feel bad about a medical condition. As a recovering alcoholic I learned to take my own car so that I could leave when I wanted if a situation got uncomfortable. As a result I;m not nearly as social as I use to be, but I feel better. And it is really allright. This condition has helped me to learn that I cannot be concerned about what others think of me. Its really not my business what they think of me. It's about how I feel about myself. I hope everyone has recovered from the holidays. Renee
jcpmoore
jcpmoore
I'm with Renee. If five hours is just too long for you, then don't commit to it. Agree with your DH that it's going to be a short visit next time and that he'll get you home when you need to leave. I absolutely will not visit my inlaws at their place. They smoke in the house so much that it's impossible for me to visit and not get sick. I will be in severe pain within minutes of walking in. So now they know they have to come to us. And they know that if I leave the room for awhile, it's not a big deal and to leave it be.

When i visit my family I go for a lot of "walks." I'll just go outside to get away from noise and tell them "I feel like a quick walk." I don't go far, just a quick walk up and down the street.
catherinesotomayor
catherinesotomayor
I realize the "Holidays' are over, but wanted to speak up. I did not go to Christmas at my daughter-in-law's house this year (and was she pissed!) because I knew it would exhaust me. To many people (and I love them all) too much noise. I got a TON of grief about this ; "missing my grand daughter's first Christmas (she is 8 most old) etc etc. My husband was not terribly happy because he likes to spend time with me but one of us needed to go.
I spent 25+ years in Al-Anon and am VERY grateful for that because setting boundaries and saying No I can't do that. or I can't do it that way but this is what I can do, I learned there.

And with CFS, I know it is ok for me to do that. I missed everyone that day, I cried a lot over the angry and disrespectful texts I got from my daughter-in -law, but I knew, I knew I was making the right choice.

I also agree with NOT visiting my in-laws. I love them, but, the smoking kills me and I will not be around it.

Good luck!!