p.s I believe that I am only better because I am not doing so much, I was kidding myself and thought that I was actually 'getting over this illness' but I have now come to the conclusion that I am actually 'managing' this illness now.
I realised this after increasing my hours at work to 7-10, it took two months for obvious signs of my CFS flaring up before I decreased them again, which made me realise that I wasn't actually truly better, it was just because I had had a 6 month break.

When I clean - which admittedly isn't often enough - I set time limits for myself. I do 15 mins and then rest until I feel as I did before I began. The rest period can be 15 mins, or 30, or 45, or longer. I don't care, I REFUSE to knock myself out for this shit. Its just not worth it in the end. I have animals to care for, let the dust bunnies lie where they will.

My point is that I rest before I get tired, not afterwards. By then, its too late and I will get far less done overall because the ensuing crash will render me pretty much immobile for a loooooooong time.

Ruby, I went through the same thing! Seriously for the first 2 years and then some I was too tired to even care that I was tired. I didn't have the energy to be upset about it.

I was many months after I quit working, maybe over a year, that I finally felt any kind of sorrow for what I can't do on a regular basis or at all.

I had to feel well enough for my thoughts to even go there. I swear this is a brain fog thing.

I was all set with my suggestion only to find that Wet Noodle beat me to it. Seriously, I was going to suggest exactly 15 minutes! Stopping before getting tired is another thing I was going to suggest. Wet Noodle I think we have a similar game plan. I wonder if you are familiar with FlyLady Wet Noodle?

Before cfs I had trouble with housekeeping. Flylady really helped. (www.flylady.net) She also introduced me to some simple effective ideas that are even more helpful now that I have cfs. Here is some of it.

1. You are not behind, just jump in where you are.
2. Don't beat yourself up for the state of your home, for what you have not finished, or what you did not do.
3. Celebrate each accomplishment, even if all you did is put one sock in the laundry hamper. (No, that's not silly. You may be surprised how much this helps.)
4. Be nice to yourself, including your own thoughts. (Maybe especially.)
5. Do something nice for yourself every day.
6. Set your timer for 15 minutes. When it goes off, stop! (This is in reference to whatever task you set before yourself.) Then rest for 15 minutes. Yes, resting is required! (Yeah, really, she insists. And this is advice for healthy people.)
7. Doing some of the job is better than none of the job.

She also wants everyone to adjust to what works for them.

I used to be on her email list, which is free as is her advice on her website. She gave daily reminders, lots of encouragement, and something she called testimonials. Someone would write her an email, and she would delete their name and forward it if she thought it would encourage others. One in particular sticks with me now.

There was a woman with a medical problem. I don't remember what the problem was. She reminds me of us. She couldn't do very much at once. She couldn't do any housework for 15 minutes. So as Flylady suggested, she adjusted it to work for her. She set her timer for 1 minute. For 1 minute she would do a job. Timer went off and she'd stop. She'd have to rest for an hour. She was slowly making a difference in her home, however small. She was so proud of herself.

15 minutes is a good place to start. I'd even set it as a max to do at a time. If healthy people ought to limit their housework to that, why should you push yourself harder? And if it's making you crash, start shrinking the time. Maybe you can work back up to 15.

I have found it critical to have guiltless fun. So I can't do all I could before. I got to sit on the couch today, put up my feet, and watch a really good movie. That made me so happy. I feel like these sorts of things add up and eventually give me some relief from the fatigue.

On the other hand, my rotten boyfriend used to spend enormous amounts of time criticizing me for everything I couldn't do. At that time no matter what I did I felt bad about it. Either I wasn't doing more or I was not helping at all. This made the fatigue so much worse. It increased other symptoms too. He's such a jerk.

The point is, the better you can feel about things the better you can do. A great dose of joy can produce wonders.

I have a favorite person I like to talk to at a sing along group I go to every other month. This makes me so happy that I get the opposite of a crash. My symptoms have been lessened as long as 3 days afterward.

Ruby you are not alone. Finding balance is my biggest struggle.

I got up yesterday and swept my living room. Of course I crashed for the rest of the day. I did not mind though because I figure I would have been in bed all day anyway.

I'm not sure this is the right attitude but I have not found forced rest to be helpful so when I feel like I can do something..I do it.

I do try to be mindful and take it easy, resting in the middle of an activity if I need to, but I still try to push through as long as I can.

Hate that bed ... really, really hate that about 80% of my life is spent lying in it.

I should add that when I say take a break and rest it doesn't have to be a rest in bed.

Just going back to the couch and getting on the computer, watching t.v., or reading can be good for me. That is how I spend most of my day because that is what I'm up to.

But if I come out of the bathroom and the bed looks tempting I just lay down. I sometimes go lay down if I'm wanting to lay my head down on the couch. Sometimes I get stuck there, too weary to go lay down.

On my really tired days, I take a break each hour, after I decide what really needs to be done. I'll often reward myself -movie, good book, so I don' t overdue it. My doc told me something wise "you control your illness, you don't let it control you" Hope this helps. Isabelle1954

Hi Ruby.

I guess I'm somewhat of a "selective pacer".

When it comes to picking up crap and cleaning - something I utterly detest doing - I set a limit of 15 mins at a time for myself. But today I did several loads of laundry, primarily because I've run out of clean socks and I live in a frozen wasteland. If I go out without socks on my feet I risk losing toes. So that's pretty critical, I would say. So I pushed through the fatigue - I'm already in a crash from lugging heavy groceries yesterday and falling down in a snowbank - but what else can I do? Socks are not a luxury where I live. And while I was sock-wrestling at the washing machine I did a shitload of winter sweaters too. They've been in a pile for months and months and I managed to ignore them. But the socks are a different matter entirely...

So urgency makes a difference in how I pace myself.

I will pay dearly for this tomorrow but at least I won't risk frostbite.
Its bread and cheese for supper tonight, no energy for putting a healthy, balanced meal together.

Re: rest periods.
I always play on the computer, watch tv or read a book when I rest because otherwise I just get too bored! Then again, I'm home all day, every day.

Yes, completely understand you!
I am all over the map when I get energy! Want to get all those things done that I didn't/couldn't other days.
I have been counseled about "pacing" by many doctors, physiotherapists etc...
Apparently I have an "able bodied brain". So when I feel able bodied I do what an able bodied person does and I am all over it....carpe diem!
Then I pay the price.
I have decided, I am not going to learn and I would rather be proud of my achievements when the energy is there then feeling miserable all the time...
So I chose not to pace and just harness the energy when I have it and run with it!
Even though I am told it is actually damaging my muscles....guess I will just have to pump some iron on my energy days too...lol