Wow, I wish I knew. I sure hope someone here will know how you should proceed, but it seems totally reasonable to me that you should be able to use the disability insurance. You certainly can't continue as you are. I've thought that for a while as I saw you struggling to keep all of those balls in the air at once. But, unfortunately, I'm not a doctor and can't convince anyone else for you. Darn it! I sure wish I could because you need to rest. You have to reign this in so that you can be better off in years to come. You want to have the best quality of life that you can for your kids. Now, if you can just convince to doctor to help you. You have my prayers and support. Sorry I had no information to share, but you have my heart in this. Blessings.

Thanks, sweetie! Just hearing that I'm not the only one who thinks I need this helps tremendously. Many days I leave the doc's office wondering if I'm really just lazy or psycho. This wonderful DS family has done wonders to help me with that!

You are NOT lazy or psycho!!! In fact, just the opposite. Those of us who have this problem are only working on a fraction of energy that "normal" people have. Add on a job and normal daily stress all together means that you work really hard just to function. I was in administration and 4 months ago I had to say, I can't do it anymore. And I got to the point where I had literally nothing left in me. It's sad that some of us have to get to that point to see the light. I kept saying to myself "If I just keep hanging in there it will get better." hah! Recovery can't happen in denial. You have my blessings, too.

A doctor who works for the company sounds like a huge conflict of interests. WIth this new person, can you make it sound less like a choice and more like a necessity? I find that overstating things with people works better, so maybe stress that currently you are getting worse and need time to recover. People don't understand the whole ME/CFS thing about flares and relapses in my experience or post exterional malaise, but they understand if you put in black and white....ie I am getting worse, I can't continue, I need xyz. It's a difficult situation. This doctor thinking you having a break is not an option sounds awful...it sounds like they think you have a choice. Make it clear there is no choice here...you have a short break or you collapse and can't work...you must have some rights here. Good luck. I hope it works out!

Thanks, Diane. How did you deal with it when you had to stop? Did you resign from work or go on leave or what? I'm looking for guidance on how to get this started 'cause I just can't keep it up.

Thanks, Lupin! It's hard to give up my current doc. I've been seeing her since before either of us worked at this company. But the neuropsych, when I saw him last week, seemed to understand that this is real and needs to stop. I am hoping I can get in to see him quickly so he can help me out. He at least knows about short term disability and what is necessary.

I figure the other option is to simply let myself collapse at work and go to the ER. Messy, but convincing for a boss that hates illness.

My boss and the nurse at my job totally supported my short term leave, and in fact contacted my primary doctor to get the process started. But, that was after months of struggling and missing so much work, and it was obvious I couldn't work at that time. However, I would say it would be best to find an independent (not work affiliated) doctor who can evaluate you. The best way for them to determine your need for disability is by emphasizing what skills you can no longer do, or the greatly increased time it takes to do them. I don't think symptoms help in their decision so much as the impact your symptoms have on day to day functioning. I think that is something the neuropsychologist can help with. I hope you find someone who can help you soon!

jcpmoore, I had to step down and luckily someone has taken my place temporarily while they look for someone permanent. They haven't found anyone yet. But I also requested that they keep me on part time from home designing the newsletter and doing the social media marketing (or else I have no income!) It comes to about 7 hours a week and that's all I can do. I lost my condo and moved in with my parents. So far so good. I keep my fingers crossed that they don't take the job away from me at least until I know if I can be on disability.

Jenna, I don't know what may have gone on behind the scenes, but when I couldn't full shifts anymore, Just started logging the hours I DID work and who many I missed. I presume the same thing was going on in HR, but I have no idea for sure. But there weren't any doctors involved. After my supe found me just sitting and staring, turned away from my desk and asked if I needed to go home, I said yes -- and I couldn't drive. After that I did the best I could and left work before I'd used up ALL my energy -- driving was incredibly demanding, and if I was too tired, I was as dangerous an any drunk.

Don't know if all this helps, but I hope so. xo

By "I hope they don't take the job away from me", I mean this 7 hours a week job from home I have now. I never want to go back to the old job.

It does, thanks Jack. It's reassuring to know that there are supervisors and bosses that do understand.

I went to doctor first. In fact I had 2 doctors back me up, my neuro and my PCP. How I went about it was I called in sick and never went back to work and my STD kicked in after my sick time was up.

I was planning on just resting and going back to work but I didn't get better and work was so stressful as we were in the middle of an acquisition and they wanted us to work 12 hrs a day.

I was paying into really good insurance and finally decided to use it.
Please ask for a copy of your policy and read it as soon as you can.

Now I'll tell you that big insurance companies are hard to deal with. You have to be very careful about what you say, they record everything. And they will try to trip you up by asking who is doing your cooking and cleaning and that sort of thing.

When my STD was up, the insurance company told me if I wanted to go to LTD I had to file for SSD, which I did. During the year that I was on LTD things seemed to be going well. I was using a lot of the time off to explore new treatments, new doctors. But I wasn't paying attention to what was going on around me and that was that the insurance company started following me and video taping me.

They got me going to the grocery store and bringing groceries into the house. They followed me to the doctor and to the bank to deposit my LTD check. They then sent that video to every doctor I had ever seen and asked them if after seeing the tape if they thought I was still disabled. My PCP called me in and told me that the insurance company had been calling and harassing him and he didn't want to give me the DVD, he told me about it and threw it in the trash. I quickly retrieved it and took it home to watch. Although he still continued to have my back, of all people, my podiatrist said I could probably do sedentary work.

That's all it took for them to deny my claim and suddenly my checks stopped coming.

Anyway, long story short...it was good while I had it, but I had a year gap between the end of LTD and winning SSD that I had to survive.

So sorry the insurance company did that to you, skinnybinny. Thanks so much for sharing your story with me. That gives me a lot to work with. I am fairly certain that the neuro psych will have my back, though I can't count on my pcp--she works for the company. Sad too since she's been my doc for almost twenty years!

wow.... fkkn insurance companies... leeching, weaseling scumbags...

yup