I had to take care of my elderly father for years. He was in a wheelchair and he also had dementia. No one in my family would help in any substantial way, so it was take care of him or watch him die.

I have no special tricks or skills I can share. All I can say is to remember that you can't always do it all, just do the best you can. If you keep going the extra mile and crashing, that helps no one. Take care of yourself, too, or you may not be there when your kids really, really need you.

Give your kids what they need, not what they want.

I got CFS three years after my 20 year marriage ended. I had four sons but by the time I got sick one of them was in college, one of them was a senior in high school and two were in middle school.

I home schooled my high school senior and was the only parent for all four of them. My ex. had another life to live.

I thought I'd go crazy but just kept pushing and pushing and pushing. I became totally disabled when my "baby" was a senior in high school. This is my second year of disability and his freshman year in college.

I have had CFS for eight years. All of them have been hellish with some major bright spots in them.

I would recommend you do ANYTHING you can to get assistance. Friends? Family? Church??? The less you do now the more time you'll be functional.

What 4sons just said!!! Reach out to your friends and loved ones. You can't do it all yourself.

Thank God my daughter was grown and out of the house before I became sick, but she is sick as well, and helping her is still key in my life.

I have a wonderful husband who has now taken on the duties of housewife and chief cook and bottle washer! He is willing and able to help me when my child needs me.

Reach out for help hon. Your loved ones need to know how sick you are. Hopefully they will come through for you!

God bless!

I have had CFS for twenty two years. I had a five year old, and a six month old at the onset of the illness. I don't know how I got through it.

I'd make them breakfast, lie down, change a diaper, lie down, etc. Playing with them was them jumping on my back while I laid down. We watched movies and TV together. It was so hard. I did push myself to get them dressed and fed, and to school and activities, etc.

I didn't look sick, and CFS wasn't so common and recognized. I knew others thought I was just depressed, or unmotivated. It was hell.

Somehow, the years did pass and now the kids are 27 and 22 years old. Good, stable, happy children.

You have to just get through it one hour, one day at a time. We can't get around it, we have to get through it.

I really feel for you Janice. As others have said, reach out to help from others as much as possible. Your situation sounds extremely difficult. When I was first diagnosed in January I had to look after my 5 year old grandson for 3 weeks. It was so hard - he watched a lot of TV! I admire all of you who manage to cope with young children while suffering from this disease.

thank you to you all who have responded to my cry for help, i really appreciate the advice. i will try to reach out as much as possible, in the hope that people wont look bad upon me. love jan

Jan, if people look badly upon you it's THERE problem, not yours. You sound like an incredibly dedicated mom.

And don't give up hope that your health can and will improve. That goes for everybody here.

In my 22 years of CFS, I had a stretch of time, about ten years, that I improved enough to work, first part time, then full time, and enjoy some outside activities, like attending temple, volunteering, etc.

I'm housebound again, but at least I did have that time of pretty good health.

I've been dealing with CFS for 40 years - before I was married or had kids. It was extremely difficult when the kids were small and needed so much attention.

My husband couldn't help - not only did he not know how really, but he was doing all he could trying to earn a living (although for awhile I was helping with that too, besides taking care of home and children.)

Now they are all grown, graduated, married, expecting their own, etc. and I can't believe I survived through it all. I wouldn't do it again, but then I'm worse now than I was then.

The only thing I can suggest is to simplify, simplify, simplify.

The suggestions to enlist outside help are good, IF you can get it. CFS is long-term and it's rare to find someone who can be there for the long-run, if at all.