Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Support Group
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) describes a sense of exhaustion and post-exertion malaise, even when you have gotten enough rest and sleep. The disease is characterized by six months of incapacitating fatigue experienced as profound exhaustion and extremely poor stamina, and problems with concentration and short-term memory. The cause is unknown, but it is a...
Been feeling better, not feeling sick every day, pain down significantly, energy and endurance are up ...
So last weekend I decided to deal with a matter that is long overdue. A contractor who did some work for me months ago removed items from my property and has failed to return them. He's been jerking me around for weeks so finally on Saturday I got the police involved and paid him a visit. Unfortunately during the process I lost my temper and we had a blowout of magnificant proportions. Got a few things off my chest (and it felt gooood).. he deserved it .. but did I?
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER .. actually I did...
Living with this illness has taught me to just let stuff go. I am a problem solver by nature and will usually find a way to handle whatever needs handling. But I've had to learn to just walk away, turn a blind eye .. let-it-go! I have to admit though that it gets to me sometimes...
- letting go of the maintenance of my household gets to me
- not keeping up with my son the way I want to gets to me
- losing the rigorous discipline and performance on which I have built my career gets to me
- letting go of my social life and my hobbies gets to me
- allowing people to take advantage of me because I simply don't have the energy to fight back GETS TO ME!
So every now and again I blow .. then pay for it. I've already missed work this week and am struggling through the days, my body needs to just sleep for about three days to recover from the stress of the altercation. So in the end I pay ..again..sigh!
So last weekend I decided to deal with a matter that is long overdue. A contractor who did some work for me months ago removed items from my property and has failed to return them. He's been jerking me around for weeks so finally on Saturday I got the police involved and paid him a visit. Unfortunately during the process I lost my temper and we had a blowout of magnificant proportions. Got a few things off my chest (and it felt gooood).. he deserved it .. but did I?
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER .. actually I did...
Living with this illness has taught me to just let stuff go. I am a problem solver by nature and will usually find a way to handle whatever needs handling. But I've had to learn to just walk away, turn a blind eye .. let-it-go! I have to admit though that it gets to me sometimes...
- letting go of the maintenance of my household gets to me
- not keeping up with my son the way I want to gets to me
- losing the rigorous discipline and performance on which I have built my career gets to me
- letting go of my social life and my hobbies gets to me
- allowing people to take advantage of me because I simply don't have the energy to fight back GETS TO ME!
So every now and again I blow .. then pay for it. I've already missed work this week and am struggling through the days, my body needs to just sleep for about three days to recover from the stress of the altercation. So in the end I pay ..again..sigh!
Glad U R feeling better. Wish I was so I am jealous. :)
As far as you exploding with anger at that ripoff jerk, i think that is so normal for people in our situation. Whether someone battles a physical or mental illness for years, it takes away alot of our self-esteem, confidence and happiness and takes an obvious toll on our psyche. So we feel weak and used and sometimes we are right and other times we are wrong about that. We wish we could feel better and stronger but then we would be surrpised at how many things do NOT bother us and how easily we can laugh them off and even handle some antagonistic situations with calm and insight.
Glad U got some anger out and made U feel better. Been there, sone that. I went thru many years of a passive/agggressive personality that turned more agressive at one point in mylife so I realized I had to clam down and be morre reasonbale. I am so sick and weak now, I am not sure I can be agressive and feel so passive.
I understand the whole lost career, lost academic goals, athletic goals, romantic and social goals, travel goals and so on (I realize you are still working). I had to learn or accept long ago that I must let go of all those things (very hard and took me years) and set new, more simplistic goals.
Btw, did you get your stufff back? U never mentioned that part.
It was one day that had its postive (felt good about letting anger out) and negative as it seems you feel bad about losing temper (it happens to most of us and that guy sounds like he deserved it).
So, try not to feel bad about things as I/we know you are doing the best you can based on the illlness you are dealing with.
Take some deep breaths, a long bath, watch a good movie and eat something U enjoy and forget about this day as tomorrow is almost here.
Best wishes.
A good deal of the time I cope with life as it is. I too have those moments where it all gets to me. We've had to give up so much.
Isn't it surprising that emotional/stressful stuff can bring on a crash? That happens to me too.
Hope you are feeling better today.
Peace
I do feel better about the situation because yes, the stress was eating away at me. He returned some of the items same day but the rest is still awol. He's not worth wrecking my health for so I'll let the rest go with my blessing. Plus I got to call him a thief in public which was most satisfying.
Wish the physical toll wasn't this bad though.