Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Support Group

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) describes a sense of exhaustion and post-exertion malaise, even when you have gotten enough rest and sleep. The disease is characterized by six months of incapacitating fatigue experienced as profound exhaustion and extremely poor stamina, and problems with concentration and short-term memory. The cause is unknown, but it is a...

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i need help quickly

gabriel2012
gabriel2012
I am sorry to post this again but I need help quickly. Back in September I got a cold from my girlfriend and I went into a four month relapse of cfs during which I felt terrible every night. I lost many days of work at my part time job. I had a terrible time. My girlfriend got sick again 12 days ago with a sore throat and body aches and generally feeling very tired and unwell. She had a fever. Later the sore throat went away and she developed a cough.She took antibiotics but did not go to a doctor. She tells me she has been feeling well since yesterday. This was the first day she did not feel unwell, she did not have body aches and she did not feel tired other than normal tiredness from work. Her cough is also gone. She wants to come visit me tomorrow. I am really scared that she is still contagious and that I might go into another 4 month cfs relapse. She says she cannot come see me in a long time after this weekend. I dont know what to do. I have already expressed concern to her about getting what she had and she got upset. She said I dont want to see her. I told her I really want to see her but that I am worried that she is contagious. We cut the conversation because she was at work. But we will talk again in a few hours. Any suggestions as to what should I do? Is she still contagious? I feel that if she comes I will feel fearful while she is here. But maybe there is nothing I should worry about. I dont know. I am confused. I dont want to hurt her feelings but I dont want another 4 month relapse. I cant afford to miss work and I dont think I can stand the suffering for another 4 months. I feel happy that I am finally almost completely recovered. If I go through another 4 month relapse this will also affect our relationship. We spent four month without having sex or going out or doing much at all. Please tell me what you think. I am extremely confused. And very scared. I want to ask her not to come this week and instead I will visit her next week. But a friend of mine thinks she will feel hurt if I tell her that. I am very confused and very stressed out.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
I just talked to my uncle who is an md and he says she is no longer contagious. But I am very very scared.
2097Maris
2097Maris
I think you are safe. Your uncle, an MD, says it's OK> Your girlfriend was not only on anitbiotics, but she has no symptoms. If she were coughing or had a runny nose or aching, I would say no. But I really think you are safe. Totally understand your concern and fear, but it seems all is well. Go enjoy your girlfriend and HAVE FUN!!!!
hollie9
hollie9
Did you get a flu shot? It sounds like girlfriend's second illness was flu.

I've had the same problem but have read no more contagion after the first few days.

It sounds like the same cold/flu that has been going around her in California. People are in bed for a week and fragile for longer.

Good luck
mywellness59
mywellness59
I don't have any idea if you are safe or not and I wouldn't even guess, but this is my two cents worth. If holding out till next week is an option and it means that you can have peace of mind (and if she truly cares about you enough to honor that) I would say it doesn't hurt to wait.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
I agree with what you are saying diane. You said it, if she cares enough for me to give me the peace of mind. But my mother thinks she will and should get upset and resent this very much. She knows me and knows how paranoid I have become of getting sick since I spent 4 months very ill. I am afraid of everything. My gf also knows this so she might think the same way my mother does. That she should resent this if I postpone our date. My mother thinks she will resent this is a major way. Because I am just being neurotic or something like that. I am afraid my gf will think the same way. My mother does not seem to think she should honor my peace of mind because I invent problems. Oh, I dont know what to do. I am afraid my gf will get very very upset and that she will not forgive this one in a long time.
2097Maris
2097Maris
You know, if you are as stressed and frightened as you seem to be even with all the comments, then you should probably put it off and see her next week if that will work out. I am retracting my previous statement because it seems the anxiety this is creating for you is greater than any enjoyment you might have with her and that will take a toll on your immune system. Even after you see her, you'll be worrying and wondering if you were exposed and that would not be good.
Trust your guts! If you are this worried about another 4 months of illness (and I would be ,too) then postpone. It she really loves and cares for you, 1 week is not going to be the end of the world for her. I wish you luck! I hope my previous note did not sound flip. Clearly you are not ready to see her... Give yourself a break..... You deserve it.
Lupin1
Lupin1
See her in a week...doesn't sound like she'll be very nice to you if u do get worse because of illness. Make it clear u r not rejecting her. U can't risk your recovery for anyone...been there done that, and no one thanks u for it or understands when u get worse, believe me! Trust your gut.
Lupin1
Lupin1
Your mother also sounds like she doesn't get it. You are not paranoid...you are being careful. You are aiming at getting well, so don't listen to people who think u r neurotic. You are NOT neurotic...that's a horrible thing to hear. Don't doubt yourself...no one knows the horrors of this illness unless they have had it or are very empathic.
gabriel2012
gabriel2012
Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. Lupin you really helped me with the comments my mother made. She usually makes me feel horrible. Whenever I feel bad and I call her she says that I am not dying, i dont have cancer or aids. Thats her support.

At the end I worried for nothing. My gf decided not to come by noon yesterday but she did not tell me until last night.

Now I am worried I might not be able to visit her next week. I feel very tired and have very little energy. I really want to see her but the trip is a long one and I have so little energy. Knowing me I might still go and then pay for it for several days of being in bed with cfs. I want to be well for the next weekend. Valentines day. I hope I can convince her that is a better idea to wait one more week. I hate having to ask for an extra week. I hate cfs. I wish I had normal energy and no limits to what I can do. I went to visit her on Jan7-10 and I am still recovering from that trip. I had lots more energy back then than what I have now. I feel so sad that I have no energy. I really want to see her next week. I miss her. cfs sucks.
2097Maris
2097Maris
You are right...........CFS sucks... It just does.
I am very sorry for what you are going through. I'm also sad that your mother is not sympathetic. As the others have said: You are not neurotic, you are struggling with a very disruptive, unpredictable illness that makes you feel like crap.
Is it possible you could take a bus or someone could drive you to see your sweet heart? It seems you are already stressing about the upcoming weekend, spending lots of energy (that you don't have) worrying. I hope you can find an alternative plan so you can have some 'quiet mind' time.
Gentle Hugs