Well, I hear you. I used to have terrible guilt about not working. We have suffered abject poverty at times due in part to my inability to work. The sad thing is that I'm the one in the family with a college degree and I can't use it. My hubby has often said he wishes he had my education. I'm in the process of applying for disability. I think I would feel a little less guilty if I got it. At least I would feel like I am contributing. I don't know about the gun issue. It, honestly, hadn't occurred to me. My family is a hunting family as well. So, I understand you not wanting your hubby to lose his guns. You might have to ask a lawyer about that one. Anyway, I digress. I'm coming to understand that my worth is not in what I do. I am worth so much just because I am breathing. You are too. I know the guilt that comes to harass you. Don't let it take over. It's not your fault. Hold tight, dear one.

Hi - I see you have CFS on your DX list but here you more emphasize your depression and anxiety. It is very hard to get SSDI for those issues by themselves but if you have a DX of CFS along with those it may be more possible.If you have MRIs of your brain showing any loss of tissue or other tests such as the tilt table test showing positive it may help as well. So I'd say if you are going to try for SSDI you will want to pay attention to your CFS along with the rest when you are getting together your packet with your lawyer. (I would never try to get SSDI without a lawyer, even with my lawyer it was a massive undertaking involving 5 doctors and a therapist and of course the usual appeal - also, a lawyer can look at your situation for free and tell you if you stand a chance, and advise if it's ok for you to work at all while you are trying to get benefits...also to check and see if you have enough credits to collect at all.)

You will need to get together your complete med history, including meds, tests, DXs, doc names, addresses, phone and fax numbers - along with a timeline of your work places, start and end dates, reasons you left or were let go, hours, end of year paperwork.
The more prepared you are the better chance you have. You might also do up a personal essay stating how your illness(s) affect you, one by one and then cumulative. I know this seems like a lot but really it's necessary to get ssdi to be your own advocate, especially at age 30. Here is a terrific book that will help as well. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0024CF06Q?redirect=true&ref_=docs-os-doi_0

If it doesn't seem like disability is in the cards, then perhaps working from home? there are companies like Leapforce that are real honest to gosh jobs (I have a relative who has worked for them, making her own hours, for 5 yrs)

Re: guns - I don't believe there are any laws prohibiting people from having guns in the house if someone else in the house is depressed, only if the gun owner is.. if that... if you felt you might be a problem for some reason to me the answer is pretty straightforward. Have hubby lock them up tight in a gun safe(if they aren't already), and not tell you the key code or where the key is...in case someday someone needs to get into it he could give a key to a trusted relative.....now I don't know guns but this seems like it would work?

Ultimately it's your decision whether to fight the SSDI fight or try to find work you can do from home or that you are comfortable with otherwise...wishing you peace
Nina

As far as health issues, you need a Dream Team, Consider going to a naturopathic doctor. They may be able to fix you. I went to a Pharmacist and she fixed me to where I can functional really well. I'm doing better in college and in my life, lethargy is gone, brain fog is gone, sleeping normally except when stress gets really high. Do not give up on trying to repair your health. If you get disability, you will still want to live and functional well. I hope you begin to feel better soon.

Hi Manda4u75!
I am wondering about a few things. And if you have already considered them - delete this!
First - what can you do around home to make $$? Can you do an at home job of some sort or train for one?
What about (I do this) gardening and canning/freezing/drying food stuff. Once everything is in, it is cost effective - especially fruit trees (do not know where you live..)
Sounds like you are an introvert (you get "energy" by doing things alone or with very close friends). It is not something to get depressed about. My husband is - he works from home (he is a geek ;-)
If you have been diagnosed with Asperger's - it makes total sense that you are uncomfortable around other people.
I agree with Nina - getting disability for anxiety or depression is VERY difficult - but not so bad with CFS..
Sounds like there is a LOT going on for you (in terms of mental and physical issues). So I also agree w/triunfadora - it takes some work, but work on knowing your true worth as a human being!

Thank all of you! The reason I am in the CFS group is because I believe I have it. I have not been diagnosed with it is why I didn't mention it as a diagnosis in the thing I wrote. I have mentioned it to my doctor and she is one that doesn't believe in CFS. She has done bloodwork to see why I would be so fatigued and have joint pains. The bloodwork has come back normal, but she did say that one of the things that she checked for ( something to do with inflammation which could be why my joints hurt) was normal, but borderline. She has me on a diet to see if it helps, but the majority of the diet I did anyway so we'll see.
Lordy! If I have to know every single job I ever had I could be working on that for a year.
Aspergers isn't fixable. Wouldn't want it "fixed" even if it were. I've tried many things to get rid of my anxiety. Been on so many different meds my doctor throws her hands in the air. She, I think is ready to send me to someone else since she doesn't know what to do.
I would love to can, but don't have the money to start up. I have gotten jars in hopes of coming across a pressure cooker for free or very cheap. I want to grow fruit trees, but kill garden type stuff that are supposedly impossible to kill. If I could work from home it would be great, but usually it involves having money to start. I don't have an adequate computer. For example I have an android tablet and that usually won't work with what programming you need to work on a computer from home. I'm probably going to just talk to my husband tonight about trying to find a lawyer to get disability. I would be unhappy with knowing I have to do it, but I would feel better than not being able to contribute.

So many of us are in tough situations. I wish I had something positive to suggest, but it's just difficult to find solutions when things keep going wrong.

I'm struggling too, trying to grow my own produce in what used to be the front lawn...and living on a small monthly check from Social Security.

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through these problems.
As for working, have you thought about medical transcriptionist? It would involve working from home, not interacting with people, and you could work at your own pace. I am not sure if your energy is high enough to do this, but just an idea. I think it pays relatively well.

I hope you start to feel better soon.

Bluebonnet08 I have no idea what a medical transcriptionist is. I do have a rough time with joint pains and stay tired constantly so it would depend on the amount of energy that is needed to do the job, whether I could do it or not. If it involves having a computer that's not an android tablet then I can't do it. I appreciate everyone's suggestions. I'm going to have to stay off of here for a while. My anxiety goes up the more I write about it and think about it.

Manda, I am not sure about Aspergers, but I understand about being very anxious around people due to problems communicating & picking up social cues correctly. I found going to a physical support group for people w/ADHD very helpful. I realized I wasn't the only one who hated making eye contact when talking or jumped from topic to topic. It helped w/the social anxiety. We also had some people w/Aspergers in the group.
I dealt w/ADD & CFS for many years by working as a temporary worker. The varied job assignments helped w/ADHD issues & the down times between assignment let me rest until the CFS got so bad I could no longer work outside the home. Currently I am so exhausted I am not good for much but I have visions of creating an EBay business or Etsy shoppe when & if this relapse runs its course.

I am wondering if working w/animals such as a kennel or pet sitting or grooming would be a nice work environment for you. Those jobs don't usually pay that great but I find animals are much less stressful to be around than people. Yet you are still bringing in income. I wish you the best of luck whatever you choose to do

Okay, I think I can be of some help here. I'm on SSDI currently - and let me tell you, it was no picnic getting on it, either. It took three years in total for me to finally get approved. I applied on the basis of near-constant debilitating migraines and assorted mental illnesses like depression, severe social anxiety, and bipolar with psychotic effects. The mental stuff is mostly managed now, but at the time, hoo boy, it was bad.

Not once during the application process did they ask me to provide additional information about the migraines. They saw I was non-functional for at least 15 days every month and denied me anyway, because I hadn't fully proven my mental illnesses to them. They sent me to two different psychiatrists to be evaluated. Both of them said, "Hey, you also have PTSD in addition to all the rest of this stuff," but still recommended that I be denied.

After three years total, I finally got a hearing with a judge. My attorney - bless the man - walked in with a chip on his shoulder and told the judge in no uncertain terms that there was no way in hell I was going back to work anytime soon. The judge agreed.

So, to start with, I would make sure that when you apply, the CFS is front and center and any contributing mental illnesses are just background noise. You'll have to put it all in there if it contributes to you being unable to work, but if you can do it honestly, make sure the CFS takes top billing.

Second, get an attorney. You don't pay a disability attorney up front. They get paid only if and when you get your disability allowance. Then, they're allowed to take 25% of your awarded back pay or $6,000, whichever is smaller. This means that when you do get awarded, you're guaranteed some back pay that can go towards catching up on bills. The down side to being on SSDI is that the money sucks. I bring in half of what I was making when I worked. It's not enough to make ends meet, so I have to work a little here and there to pad my income. Social Security allows for this, with very strict conditions.

Lastly, when your husband goes to buy a gun, they'll run the background check on him and him only. You being diagnosed with mental illnesses won't get in the way of him buying guns. As far as keeping them in the house, Social Security won't ever know. They'll never ask about it. The only way I can see anyone caring about your husband keeping guns is if you have a crisis that involves the authorities - they might ask him to store the guns away from the house for your safety. But, since you're stable, there's no reason for anyone to care.

Sorry for the long-winded answer. Hope it helps! :)

MaggieHa - I appreciate the thought of the animals, but I am highly allergic to cats and dogs. Which sucks cause I love animals.
DevAnthony- I wish I were diagnosed with CFS for this very reason you speak of, but none of the Drs I have gone to believe CFS exists. I am currently hurting so bad all I can think about is "I wish I had a pool". Every joint in my body is aching so bad that I can barely move. I normally type pretty well, but am hen pecking my way through this. I constantly stay sick, which I don't know if that is a symptom of CFS or not, but I'm sick at least once a month with some kind of cold/flu/allergy. Also, I'm constantly tired and have been this way since I was very young. My holiday pictures with family is a little embarrassing especially for someone that's as young as me. I'm always found in the recliner or a comfy chair looking like I'm about to fall asleep and that's not normal. I'm going to try and take my time gathering up all that's needed so I don't miss anything.

Yeah, you really have to find a doctor who is CFS literate. It's a terrible blot on our medical system that your doctors have not believed that CFS exists. But, I have no doubt it is true. I've had plenty of docs myself who didn't believe it's a thing. You are suffering a lot. I can feel that. I am like you. One can usually find me in a recliner with a pained look on my face. My hubby will ask, "What hurts?" And my response is, "Everything." You have to get some help, girl. Find someone who will believe you. Much love.

One thing you can try - if you haven't already - is a Google search combining "chronic fatigue syndrome" and your city and state. That has the potential to bring up ads for local doctors who know about it, or message boards where you can ask local people to recommend a doctor to evaluate you for CFS.

They'll have to test you for everything under the sun to make sure it's not something other than CFS, so the diagnosis process takes a while. Even after I was diagnosed this week, my doctor told me she still wants me to be evaluated for sleep apnea just to rule out that last possibility, even though neither of us really thinks I have it.

Good luck!