Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Support Group
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME/CFS) describes a sense of exhaustion and post-exertion malaise, even when you have gotten enough rest and sleep. The disease is characterized by six months of incapacitating fatigue experienced as profound exhaustion and extremely poor stamina, and problems with concentration and short-term memory. The cause is unknown, but it is a...
Had an anxious weekend. Had a funeral and a party, spent the weekend trying to talk myself into both and ended up attending neither because yesterday was just one of those days when I could barely crawl out of bed. Sucks when I can't be there to support my friends.
Woke up this morning totally stressed over finances. My last project went horribly awry despite my effort to stay on top of expenditures. went about 40% over budget and did not even complete the work... Got electricity bill for twice the normal amount. Paid it... Got water bill for 50 times the regular amount (no typo). Cant afford to pay that... Thinking of selling my car, haven't figured out how I will get to work without one.. worrying about my ability to even put food on the table for the next year or two. Health insurance ran out for the year, renews April 1 so until then all doctors visits etc are out of pocket. Need to go back to the doc, pain my side is raw and insistent. Next step is CAT scan or MRI both terribly expensive...Spoke my mind in a meeting at work, maybe that wasn't the best thing to do given my tenuous situation. What the heck would I do if I lost my job? I AM STRESSED!
Anxiety has a way of eating at you, wakes you up at 2 in the morning and keeps you up .. it plays over and over in your head leaving you feeling helpless, hopeless, guilty, dumb, irresponsible... how could I have spent so much? Why did I not catch this, why cant I stay on top of that...
Every single day, I consciously CHOOSE not to wallow in anxiety. Instead I pray for guidance, I push the worries aside and focus on other things. So that is just what I did this morning, I prayed "Dear Lord, you know I have not been spending frivolously, you know I have tried to make good decisions, you know I tried to be responsible. I trust that you have guided me thus far and will take care of me going forward. So I hand this over you, Amen"
So I get up off my bed and look down and there is my dog stretched out on my unfinished floor, a ray of sunlight slants through the door and he is perfectly positioned to bask in its warmth. He opens one eye and lazily flips over into the "rub-my-tummy" position. And as I lean over to give him a tickle, I find myself thinking "I love my live"
Say what now?!@?!?
Indeed I do. I love my child, I love my pets, I love my home and even though it is terribly stressful.. I love my job. I appreciate the friends who reach out to me every now and then but oddly enough I am enjoying the simplicity of my life.
Yes there are a hundred reason to worry and be anxious and just walk around totally stressed. But maybe, just maybe the handful of reasons that I get each day to experience pure unbridled joy .. maybe those outweigh the other stuff by a large margin. So, maybe its not so strange at all that even in a trying time I can genuinely say " I love my life".
Woke up this morning totally stressed over finances. My last project went horribly awry despite my effort to stay on top of expenditures. went about 40% over budget and did not even complete the work... Got electricity bill for twice the normal amount. Paid it... Got water bill for 50 times the regular amount (no typo). Cant afford to pay that... Thinking of selling my car, haven't figured out how I will get to work without one.. worrying about my ability to even put food on the table for the next year or two. Health insurance ran out for the year, renews April 1 so until then all doctors visits etc are out of pocket. Need to go back to the doc, pain my side is raw and insistent. Next step is CAT scan or MRI both terribly expensive...Spoke my mind in a meeting at work, maybe that wasn't the best thing to do given my tenuous situation. What the heck would I do if I lost my job? I AM STRESSED!
Anxiety has a way of eating at you, wakes you up at 2 in the morning and keeps you up .. it plays over and over in your head leaving you feeling helpless, hopeless, guilty, dumb, irresponsible... how could I have spent so much? Why did I not catch this, why cant I stay on top of that...
Every single day, I consciously CHOOSE not to wallow in anxiety. Instead I pray for guidance, I push the worries aside and focus on other things. So that is just what I did this morning, I prayed "Dear Lord, you know I have not been spending frivolously, you know I have tried to make good decisions, you know I tried to be responsible. I trust that you have guided me thus far and will take care of me going forward. So I hand this over you, Amen"
So I get up off my bed and look down and there is my dog stretched out on my unfinished floor, a ray of sunlight slants through the door and he is perfectly positioned to bask in its warmth. He opens one eye and lazily flips over into the "rub-my-tummy" position. And as I lean over to give him a tickle, I find myself thinking "I love my live"
Say what now?!@?!?
Indeed I do. I love my child, I love my pets, I love my home and even though it is terribly stressful.. I love my job. I appreciate the friends who reach out to me every now and then but oddly enough I am enjoying the simplicity of my life.
Yes there are a hundred reason to worry and be anxious and just walk around totally stressed. But maybe, just maybe the handful of reasons that I get each day to experience pure unbridled joy .. maybe those outweigh the other stuff by a large margin. So, maybe its not so strange at all that even in a trying time I can genuinely say " I love my life".
My grandmother gave me a little prayer card when I was going through a rough period. It simple says, "This life is what we make it." I have kept that card for nearly 40 years.
And one of my favorite sayings is, "It's not what happens to us in life, it's how we choose to respond that makes all the difference."
Thanks for sharing and I'm happy you are able to see the things in your life worth celebrating.
Good luck with that stress stuff. I firmly believe it is bad, very bad for us. It is like the gas in coal mines. When the gas gets too strong everyone leaves. For us, when the stress is getting too bad we need to run from it.
Thanks for your post.
Hey about that water bill? Did they come out and find where your leak is? that's the only way you'd have one that high... if it's on their line maybe you won't have to pay it.... add in the elec bill and a pump issue somewhere comes to mind as well.... just hate to see you get the same next month!
Medically, I'm not much help. I never heard of medical running out... but when I didn't have any at all; I'd go to the hospital and they have to at least treat your symptoms and then you fill out paperwork with your income and usually it's free....
again, good for you in finding the joy and thanks for sharing it....